Being asked to contribute to a friends party expenses by his spouse?

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  • Being asked to contribute to a friends party expenses by his spouse?
  • ernie_lynch
    Member

    Yes it sounds a little odd, but as you say that don’t really mind and he’s a great lad then I wouldn’t dwell on it. Have a nice time 🙂

    codybrennan
    Member

    Thanks Ernie!

    mudshark
    Member

    Just remember to charge them for anything you give them anytime they visit you…. 😉

    Premier Icon ransos
    Subscriber

    What a tightwad!

    Premier Icon kimbers
    Subscriber

    pay her in scottish notes

    I’d be happy to contribute to a mates party, but bearing this in mind:

    they’re flush, have no kids and are both on great incomes. Really great

    …its a bit fookin’ rude!

    rene59
    Member

    I think if you are expected to pay for the grub then you have a right to complain if its crap!

    Premier Icon the-muffin-man
    Subscriber

    Is this odd, or is just me?

    Very odd!

    We’ve helped out with food at parties – everyone bring a plate of butties/pudding – that sort of thing. But never been asked for cash.

    m0rk
    Member

    £10 for a buffet would have me starved from the day before, and trousers with an elasticated waist to make sure I got my monies worth

    Premier Icon kcal
    Subscriber

    sounds a bit off TBH but just stump up and go I guess. Deduct the £10+ from any gift you may have been thinking about giving though 🙂

    Duggan
    Member

    It’s definitely weird and I suspect may derail the whole party as I would think that a lot of people will baulk at it and not go?

    If he’s a good mate then I’d just pay and go as it’s not worth worrying over but I do think there’ll be diminished numbers when you get there.

    Regarding the salary and income thing it’s always dangerous to make assumptions I think, you never know what people’s private circumstances are.

    Hypothetically, maybe they have a sick close relative and are paying $$$$’s to look after them and so she can’t afford to fund the party?

    More likely she’s just tight, but you see my point.

    jambourgie
    Member

    Have a great time! And forget about the £10*

    *hand in an invoice for your ‘appearance fee’ at the end.

    mudshark
    Member

    Just turn up and forget about the money

    I went to a BBQ a while back where people were supposed to bring their own meat, hardly anyone did.

    pondo
    Member

    I wouldn’t be very happy with that. How about no tenner if you promise not to eat anything?

    pay it, then at the party tell your mate the buffet wasnt worth the tenner you were all asked to pay for it.

    Sit back and enjoy the free entertainment that ensues.

    Premier Icon honeybadgerx
    Subscriber

    Bit bizarre, I always thought the unwritten rule was that you were either asked to bring a ‘dish’ with you or the host provided all the food – the upside being the host is generally left with a load of untouched bottles of wine, beer, etc. afterwards.

    Premier Icon dangeourbrain
    Subscriber

    a)they’re flush as

    You don’t get rich by spending your own money.

    ryderredman
    Member

    Thought this was going to be about his misses asking you to fund his naughty nose

    Premier Icon MSP
    Subscriber

    I have a mate who does this, throws a BBQ 2 or 3 times a year and asks everyone to throw 20 into the kitty for it, thought it was bit odd the first time, but he does go to town a bit, get’s a load of Argentinian steak in and plenty of booze.

    For a one off celebration, thrown by a partner for a special occasion, I would still see it as being a bit off.

    scottyjohn
    Member

    She sounds like a right muppet. But its not the guy’s fault so just pay and go have a good time. I think your right in that it may put a lot of people off just for the rudeness of it.

    Premier Icon sandwicheater
    Subscriber

    Better be the best buffet ever. I’d be bringing a bag to ensure I get my fair share.

    Think a photo of this buffet better be supplied.

    jon1973
    Member

    Deduct the £10+ from any gift you may have been thinking about giving though

    They’d end up owing me money.

    Premier Icon teamhurtmore
    Subscriber

    Pretty odd IMO especially as there seem to be no mitigating circumstances.

    But I would pay the tenner and have a good time. Life’s too short.

    ninfan
    Member

    Just you wait till she sends you the present list!

    Why not suggest you all pay in a bit more and have a free bar – Carnage 8)

    wobbliscott
    Member

    It’s a bit odd but I would never turn upto a party empty handed and would usually offer to bring some food, so it’s no different in that way. It’s better than asking everyone to turn up at a restaurant, which might be one you don’t like or one of those god awful overpriced Michelin starred things that turns everyone into food ponces waffling on about purée’s and foams all night before you pay £100 and go home hungry. I wouldn’t take offence, it’s a party for a mate and these are two way events, as much for you as the recipient. If it’s not a close mate or an acquaintance then I’d consider if I really wanted to go and might politely decline, say I’m washing my hair or organising my DVD collection or something, and stay in and get a curry instead.

    Premier Icon dangeourbrain
    Subscriber

    What ever you do, don’t pay her by pay pal gift then post that she’s robbed you of the buffet doesn’t arrive

    pondo
    Member

    pay it, then at the party tell your mate the buffet wasnt worth the tenner you were all asked to pay for it.

    Chapeau! 🙂

    I always thought the unwritten rule was that you were either asked to bring a ‘dish’ with you or the host provided all the food – the upside being the host is generally left with a load of untouched bottles of wine, beer, etc. afterwards.

    Yeah, that’s how we roll. We do a couple of BBQs, it’s not a massive outlay unless everyone and their brother turn up. Not even that fussed about bottles being left over, just a nice surprise if there are any.

    Premier Icon kcal
    Subscriber

    Have organised a celebration ceilidh in the past for significant birthday / wedding years for ourselves. Was catered, ceilidh band, hall hire; I guess it did all add up. Maybe she panicked at the cost of what supposed to start off as a ‘little do’?

    Wouldn’t dream of asking folk to chip in though, despite being a Scotsman born in Aberdeen born to a Yorkshire lass..

    Jamie
    Member

    *skip to the end*

    Just make sure to fill your pockets with £10 worth of buffet.

    ninfan
    Member

    the upside being the host is generally left with a load of untouched bottles of wine, beer, etc. Malibu, Campari, Stones Ginger Wine etc. afterwards.

    Fixed 😈

    natrix
    Member

    Is she from a different cultural background?? Maybe its the done thing in her home country.

    If not, then imho it is a very odd thing to do.

    Did they charge for invites to their wedding???

    pondo
    Member

    ninfan –

    the upside being the host is generally left with a load of untouched bottles of wine, beer, etc. Malibu, Campari, Stones Ginger Wine etc. afterwards.

    Fixed [/quote]
    We’ve got a can of Skol in the pantry still from two years ago. Not surprising it got left, I wouldn’t give it to the dog. And we haven’t even GOT a dog.

    Premier Icon dangeourbrain
    Subscriber

    We’ve got a can of Skol in the pantry still from two years ago. Not surprising it got left, I wouldn’t give it to the dog. And we haven’t even GOT a dog

    Pour it into part burried cans in the garden for drowning [i]scaring [/i] slugs.

    Premier Icon ransos
    Subscriber

    It’s a bit odd but I would never turn upto a party empty handed and would usually offer to bring some food, so it’s no different in that way.

    The difference is that’s you bringing a gift, not being asked for payment.

    codybrennan
    Member

    Strange one this, etiquette wise.

    Mate is getting sprung a surprise party for a significant year by his OH. She’s surreptitiously finding out who can and can’t make it.

    I’d said yes- he’s a great lad- and she seemed pleased.

    However, a formal invite has arrived to the do, and there within is a little note, asking me to contribute a sum of money (north of £10) for the buffet.

    I’m assuming all other guests have also been asked to do this.

    I don’t really mind, but a)they’re flush as b)have no kids and c)are both on great incomes. Really great….

    Is this odd, or is just me? I’d planned on getting him some kind of pressie too.

    Premier Icon honeybadgerx
    Subscriber

    pondo – Member

    We’ve got a can of Skol

    dangeourbrain – Member

    …for drowning scaring slugs.

    I’ll give you £10 for it as we’ve got slug problem in our kitchen (I know), Paypal gift ok? Keep meaning to make Ladybadger watch Slither sometime just to freak her out a bit more…

    Take along a bag of Greggs donuts and tell her that your buffet contribution.

    pondo
    Member

    I’ll give you £10 for it as we’ve got slug problem in our kitchen (I know), Paypal gift ok? Keep meaning to make Ladybadger watch Slither sometime just to freak her out a bit more…

    It wouldn’t hugely surprise me to find that slugs spawn out of discarded (mostly full) cans of Skol. However, gift that tenner over and I’ll ignore you for a fortnight or more.

    Premier Icon BigDummy
    Subscriber

    If they really are flush, then I reckon £10 is getting off lightly compared to you having to pay your own way at a restaurant she might otherwise have organised the party at, say.

    Wouldn’t lose any sleep over it.

Viewing 40 posts - 1 through 40 (of 77 total)

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