Being quite a personal subject for all involved I've made an alternative alias to my usual STW ID but know from the past that STW is as good a place as any to ask for some experiences, knowledge or opinions in just about any subject, so in addition to asking for advice from the more usual places; here I am!
I've known a lesbian couple for some time now, one of whom I've known since university and would consider her one of my closest friends (although I haven't seen too much of her for a few years). Their relationship has been serious for some time and they both want kids and basically they've ask me to be the sperm donor.
Some background – It won't be for at least a year, maybe more until they're both confident in their careers and are more financially stable (They're not far off this). We're over 100miles away from each other. They're mid 20's. I'm late 20's, no kids, pretty much eternally single (ha!), fairly financially stable but by no means well off. Have 6 nieces and nephews who I love dearly.
They've said there's no pressure on me to say yes, lots of different avenues to go if I say no and if I do say yes they want to make it as professional as possible, contracts about future involvement and so on. They want me to be involved in the upbringing and I want to be involved but not sure yet to what extent.
I'm honored of everyone they know (well about half of them) they've asked me but don't know what to do. Being the type of person I am and close to them I instantly thought yes but this was closely followed by no, due the realization of the commitment involved.
I want to have kids someday but not until I'm more settled, with someone but I don't want to be too old and will that day ever come? With this I could have a child with a couple I care about and who I can't split from (even though they could obviously split from each other). Will the thought of being a secondary parent (if that) to them destroy me knowing they're raising a child who's part me, even though I agreed to it (my sis reckons this). Will the fact that I have a child put off a future partner?
Urgh – don't know
I'm defiantly erring towards no, as it's the most logical, safest option but it defiantly not set in stone.
Over to you!