Evening STW hive-mind,

I require some help and advice. Bullockheart/Heiferheart is due in the middle of January, and as yet I am no closer to understanding what is about to happen to my life. I wanted to have a go at the ‘Puffer, but apparently it’s too close to the birth date, as is Hit The North. I know this because I’ve just been told in no uncertain terms that if I consider either, it won’t be the cancer that sends me off, but a frying pan or my wife’s Fiesta.

No here’s the issue. I’m happy to accept that my riding patterns will change. As Mrs Bullheart as pointed out, the moment BiddyBull pops out will probably be so epic that I won’t even look at my bike, but I need a dad’s-eye view. So the questions are;

1) How did it feel? How did you cope? What happened to the bike?

2) Did the NCT classes help?

3) Are there any forums I could join that would help prepare me for the inevitable life-explosion about to happen?

Many thanks gents!

BH

Why is your wife buying Fiesta?

It’s on a special at the newsagents.

Har-har! Yes, your life will change, no doubt, but lets be frank, you’ve got over far more momentous changes. Get a trailer, in fact, contact me (e-mail in profile), I’ve got one you can have for nowt, my 2 have grown out of it.

lol @ crikey

I have no children of my own, but I was once a tiny baby myself. No, it’s actually true.

You’ve enjoyed a car journey with me for several hours. I know you’re not very good at coping with stressful situations, as you’re just a whiny little girl, but on that occasion you coped ok really, so I’m sure you’ll be fine.

🙂

X

felt amazing, all coped fine! rode my bike the same day/raced the following weekend

NCT classes?

the internet can be helpful but personally I’d GTF away from forum advice, it’s a real life baba.

1) Didnt hurt in the slightest, didnt feint, and I went for a ride on the bike before they got home.
2) Dunno, they wouldnt let me go to the breast feeding class,
3) You’re already here.

As a Dad of 3;

Don’t look at the business end while it’s coming out; one day you may want to visit that area for fun…

Spend whatever cash you have spare on whatever you want now, because you either won’t have the cash or the time later.

It’s a baby. In spite of your frankly awe-inspiring story, it’s just like every other baby in the world, so remember that others may not seem to be so impressed.

You will lose a lot of sleep, but it’s just sleep.

It’s still only a baby; it doesn’t need an expensive buggy, the heating on full for the next 6 months, a new wardrobe from (insert expensive shop of choice).

Do your share of the shitty stuff.

1)It’s amazing. Life changes and priorities are totally re-adjusted. Well, for me they were. You’ll be too tired to ride for a while. And you’ll learn to live on a lot less sleep.
2)No. It’s common sense. Make it work for you and your family. There are no instruction manuals and every little one is different. Routines are good if they work for you. Start young I’d say as it makes it easier when they get older.
3)You’re already here!

Tim
One 4.5 year old and one 10 day old. Off to bed now whilst all is quiet.

In spite of your frankly awe-inspiring story, it’s just like every other baby in the world, so remember that others may not seem to be so impressed

particularly the baby. HTH. 😀

(and congrats, obviously)

1) didn’t hurt a bit. Fine. Didn’t get a look in for at least three days.
2) what’s nct?
3) mumsnet?

1)Witnessing the birth of my children was an amazing experience (although there were a few scary moments with number 2) . Both my kids were born 5 weeks prem so spent a couple of weeks in transitional care , this meant my maternity leave was used up while mum and no2 were in hospital. Biking was severely reduced for the first 2-3 months but has crept back to normal levels.

2) NCT classes? , never got to them due to premature births.

3) mumsnet ! 😉

What crikey and timbur said.

Also, keep your hands away from Mrs B’s teeth during the event, I got bitten when Mrs D was bearing down. It hurt.

You can’t really prepare for it. You might think you can, but you can’t. It is so much about instinct when it happens and your reactions will be different in some ways to anyone elses. It is massive – really massive. Sleep as much as you can between now and then. Any time you might do something else, just sleep.
If you have the strength to ride and not to the detriment of your wife, have a ride. Remember that she will be far more limited to just nip out and do stuff than you, so you have to use that empathy thing.
We knew more than most about the birth before it happened, so we didn’t need most of the classes – but we were different.

its the bestest thing ever

even if it does mean no sleep, no riding, no partying ……

but its all totally worth it

on a practical note sleep whenever you get the chance
try and get a routine going, meals, bedtime etc
any big jobs need doing get them done now eg decorating, everything becomes a bit trickier when you have to factor in a baby

kimbers jr is 363 days old
and likes smith eyewear

I’ve got a pic of my eldest wearing some Oakleys just like that! (they were white frames with pink lenses to keep thinks on track wit being a bike website and all!)

Everything that crikey said

+ one word – relentless

can’t add on what others have said generally but NCT classes – great. I enjoyed ours and we have made some good friends.

Enjoy every minute of it – it changes everything tor the better

^^ just goes to show, even a cute innocent baby can’t make cycling glasses look any less “special” 😉

Oh.. and some babies actually sleep LOTS.

1) How did it feel? How did you cope? What happened to the bike?

2) Did the NCT classes help?

3) Are there any forums I could join that would help prepare me for the inevitable life-explosion about to happen?

1. Worst day of my life was watching labour.
2. Not much, but the Mrs has a good group of friends to help out now.
3. STW has all the answers you know that.

They are kind of dull for 3 or 4 months and then they get fun. Tomorrow is Franks first b’day, its quite scary how much you love them.

Oh.. and some babies actually sleep LOTS.

they all do – just not when you want them to…

1) How did it feel? How did you cope? What happened to the bike?

Exhausting, but good fun. Don’t plan to do anything for the first three months – you will be so underslept that you won’t want to even if the wife allows it. Bike mileage much reduced (now picking up a bit since Miss RBIT is 10 months and in nursery) but was so desperate to get out that I went out in Jan in the ice, fell off, broke collar bone and bent mech hanger…

2) Did the NCT classes help?

As has been posted elsewhere, there will be one couple who are yoghurt knitters and one couple who are taking it all far too seriously but the rest will be good value. We’ve kept in touch with our lot, and anecdote suggests you’ll not be the only dad there into bikes (which fits with my experience). Worth it for the social factor and not-being-in-it alone, though some of the advice need to be taken with a pinch of salt.

3) Are there any forums I could join that would help prepare me for the inevitable life-explosion about to happen?

STW=Dadsnet. In fact, there should probaby be a parenting sub forum to go with ‘Bike’ and ‘Chat’.

Good Luck.

Andy

ohh and I didn’t mind the business end one bit

Crikey has it spot on.
Do remember to do the cheesy bit and lift little bullock/heifer out of the cot, walk over to the window and whisper ‘ I can give you nothing but the world….’
NCT – I’d say do it. Mrs O and I met some good friends through it even though we only went to one meeting due to a premature birth. If nothing else they are going through the same things as you about the same time.
Mumsnet – not a chance! Spend less time on the ‘puter and more enjoying your wife’s larger ahem, upper body. As you won’t get near em if she’s breast feeding! 😀

Don’t look at the business end while it’s coming out; one day you may want to visit that area for fun…

Word.

Spend whatever cash you have spare on whatever you want now, because you either won’t have the cash or the time later.

You will lose a lot of sleep, but it’s just sleep.

It’s still only a baby; it doesn’t need an expensive buggy, the heating on full for the next 6 months, a new wardrobe from (insert expensive shop of choice).

Poverty, permanent lack of sleep are inevitable. However both creep up on you so you have a little time left think nothings changed

Most baby stuff is bought not becuase babs needs that it but you want/perfer it. Just like buying MTBs in fact.

NCT was mostly wast of time, but did help you know the names of the different drugs your wife will call for inbetween screaming etc. More seriously both times my missus only had gas&air as I got her to do breathing techniques and come off gas&air between thingies. Didnt want my muppets to come into the world doped up before their first breath. Wife want too happy afterwards when she realised I had deprived her of her rightful hit of analgesics.

Baby mostly sleeps for first 2 weeks, some form of denial I think, then it all really starts. NCT also talks you through things like the nasty nasty black first nappies and horrifying sh…stuff like that.

Blah, blah, blah – i’ll shut up now

……being able to hold up your own offspring with one hand is priceless – esp. ’cause (most) girls havent got big enough hands 😆

Don’t worry about stuff. Once the baby is born everything will be have changed.
it’s all good.

not sure if it happens to everyone but i didn’t need much sleep for the first three months because i felt like i had been given some mad new father performance enhancing drug by mother nature. 😀

i oddly ride my bike a fair bit because when i get the chance i go, no tossing about with one more brew or ooooh it looks a bit nasty out …etc.

congrats mate and all the best with it.

they all do – just not when you want them to…

speak for yourself 😉

1. its good! you just sort of do it. still cycle once a week too (and commute daily)
2. Didn’t bother
3. Didn’t bother

don’t listen to other people otherwise you’ll be confused with scores of contradictory advice, you’re the parents, do it your way. you’ll make mistakes, but thats how you learn.

Time flies, don’t wish it away!

William, 18 months old (not the best pic):

1/ Went though ICU etc with my twins, you’d think everything after that would seem like a breeze. Nothing prepares you for how demanding and draining parenting and holding down a full time job and a hobby is. Something will probably give. In my case its a bit of all 3. I dont mtb anymore though so that tells you something
2/Categorically no, seems like the only benefit is to buy middleclass friends. I’m a cynic, but it wouldn’t have helped me. All they do is eat sleep and shit, its not rocket science, but it is draining and a source of worry…
3/ You will go through a phase of asking for help, then you will just think **** screw that I’m just going to make it up as I go along

And if you do the NCT classes make sure you pay attention – babies can arrive before the midwife has time to get to yer house 😯

They are kind of dull for 3 or 4 months and then they get fun

This is one of those ‘yes, I do agree, but better not say so’ things!

I gave up biking after our first 2 were born; I simply didn’t have the time or the energy to train as much for XC racing. I started running instead, and used that to stay fit/become my new obsession until I could start riding again. Then, because I was doing so well, we had another….

Although people are correct in that it changes everything, it does so relatively gradually apart from the birth, so you get chance to adjust.

You should both be able to say to each other ” **** it, you’ll have to take over, I can’t cope any more”, and expect the same in return.

And each time you despair through lack of sleep/excess of poo/overwhelming relatives/fear for the future remember it’s how you got here, so it can’t be that hard!

Think of all the riding and other things you do now…..Establish about 20% of it that’s really important and want to keep doing….halve that in order to be realistic…then end up having the energy to do about a quarter of that……

😉

Good luck!

Dr ‘Daddy’ P

Its life changing you will re-prioritise, but bike time (for me) is getting away from it all so you’ll work it out again.

NCT is more important for Mum IMO, especially if this is your first child. She builds a friends style relationship with a bunch of people going through the same issues and challanges, and its good for her sanity to know she’s not doing anything wrong/different or isnt going insane any more than other people.

Oh, and you will appreciate sleep as a whole new wonderfully high value thing…

Yours, Mr tired after the recent fireworks have kicked off a 2yo’s fear of the dark (yawn)….

You will go through a phase of asking for help, then you will just think **** screw that I’m just going to make it up as I go along

Sooner you get to that point the better. So much advice is handed out, and in reality, impossible to follow.

Things that worked for us…

Relaxing and having the confidence to ignore advice.

Not falling out with the inlaws (didn’t do too well at that).

Get him/her on dual fuel (bottle and breast) as soon as you can.

Don’t buy a baby monitor. You need a break without listening to every whimper. Baby’s are actually pretty good at getting attention when they need it 🙂

We are on our third, and looking back, it was us who created most of the stress.

1) How did it feel? How did you cope? What happened to the bike?

Scary – no manual was supplied. Not too badly – just listen to your Mrs, she knows her body and she knows when she needs your help. Listen to her first. Bike went on the garage wall and stayed there for 4 years.

2) Did the NCT classes help?

A bit – however, we’ve made some great friends we’re still in touch with 6 years on.

3) Are there any forums I could join that would help prepare me for the inevitable life-explosion about to happen?

You’re already here 8) In fact, this place was the first I came to when MrsG went into labour.

<gratuitous photo of my kids> *proud dad*

</gratuitous photo of my kids>

Our boy is 10 m old. Never wanted kids but if i new how great it would be i would have tried for one years ago. Despite the sleepless nights and working all the overtime i can get to pay yet. Our tips are
Buy your pram or buggy on ebay.
Buy car seat and other stuff online.Go to mothercare and get them to demo everything and then buy else where
NCT was bollocks waste of time and money. meeting times were changed most weeks and the other five couples we have not spoken to since thank god . they were a nightmare. We made excuses twice not meet up with them for get togethers. Its pot luck whonyoubend up meeting but we was advised not to bother but we new best .

The dynamic of your relationship will change, so be ready to adjust to that. I’ve found it quite difficult at times to watch my wife always put the baby first. Not in a selfish way, just when she neglects herself on occasion like not eating properly.

Fantastic fun though, so wonderful to watch a new human develop on a daily basis.

“1) How did it feel? How did you cope? What happened to the bike?”

I coped without turning into a really feeble parody of an 80s self help manual. A lot of other people have too. The bike melted instantly and both my legs fell off so I can no longer ride! 🙂

“2) Did the NCT classes help?”

Nope. They do not have the answers you are looking for. The chances are that nobody else does either. There are an awful lot of fathers out there. A surprising amount of people have them, and an awful lot of people also are them! It’s not a big deal. You are probably better than at least 50% of them so don’t worry. 🙂

“3) Are there any forums I could join that would help prepare me for the inevitable life-explosion about to happen?”

http://www.get my balls back dot com

Seriously man. You are not living in a movie. You will still be the person you used to be, you are not doing anything that isn’t done by an incredibly huge number of people again and again and again.

Stop worrying!

You are going to be fine at it… even more so if you don’t turn it into a little stress fetish! 🙂

Hi mate

Congrats on your impending arrival, it’s seriously the best thing you’ll ever do.

In terms of your questions:

1) It was a really intense experience, and a bit scary as a dad – I’ve never felt more generally useless. Adrenaline keeps you going through the actual birth, the knackeredness doesn’t hit you till later. I managed a ride the day after our first was born, but it wasn’t popular, so I wouldn’t recommend it. I cut back on the riding quite a lot, mainly because I was so knackered with lack of sleep. If you don’t already have one, get a turbo, it’s easy to pop on for 30-45 mins just to keep your legs turning.

2) We didn’t do the NCT classes, still made plenty of friends locally, Mrs HH went to several mother and baby groups, you just seem to meet other people with kids. Most of the parenting advice is pretty common sense anyway, grandparents are very useful.

3) +1 for STW, definitely Dadsnet

The best piece of advice I got before the birth was relating to changing nappies after a “code brown” – (assuming you’re right handed) hold both the baby’s legs in your left hand and wipe buttocks with your right (holding a wipe, obviously). If you leave one of the legs free, you’ll get crap kicked everywhere.

Best of luck!

Barn (the bloke from the Oktoberfest with the T-shirts from Al)