Help me, real men and women !

We’re having a work barby tomorrow and I’m in charge of charcoal and some other shit that’s rather less central to the cooking of food in a park

I’m a gas user at home (yes, I am sorry now) and so need some tips to avoid disaster, since there’s quite a lot of us going

It’s going on a permanent installation so I’m guessing fairly large and likely to be reasonably well constructed/shielded etc and we’re not pushed for time, so I like to think I don’t need or want it to be impregnated with napalm or anything.

Is that right, and do I just avoid anything with the words quick or easy in the title to get “proper” stuff ?
How much to cook for 25 or so ?
… and do I buy a small supply of “petrol” in case it all goes badly, or do I want firelighters (or just a straight edged razor to end it all there & then if I can’t get it burning with a flint and twigs to start) ?

Sadly, I’m not using a local artisan producer – this’ll be a supermarket/petrol station job tonight

TIA

😳 🙁

No petrol.

Firelighters yes. Pretty much any old charcoal inc from petrol station. Make sure you don’t start cooking too early, min 20 mins of charcoal buring before any food gets put on, should be looking quite dusty before you start. Spread coals and take care as first batch will cook fast, turn often. Now the bad news the park bbq’s are generally rubbish, hard/impossible to adjust grill height and very dirty. I would enlist some help PDQ

been googling – that’s good, right ?

I shall reclaim my silverback status by making a lighting funnel tonight from shit I find in the garage. Who wants first dibs on a clapped-out elderly Trance Advanced ?

(by “petrol” I meant the proprietary fluid – is that not as good as firelighters ?)

I’m only intending to get there, light the **** and then if I’m really lucky GTFO and ride my bike for a bit (QECP) or else play rounders/hide & seek while some other bugger sorts out the rest

Suppose I could take a wire brush and some muc-off (or real petrol – surely that’s the ideal tool for sorting crusty BBQs)

Buy 5/6 bags of the ready to light stuff. Place all of them in cooking area. It’s not needed but I always give each one a little Squirt with lighter fluid. Fire up. Wait till flames die down and coals start to go white. They are usually lump wood so get on and cook as soon as ready as they don’t retain heat for as long as briquettes.

Ideally one of those lighter chimneys would be a real help. If not, on a large BBQ I’d make 2-3 piles of briquettes with ~3-4 firelighters scattered underneath each one.
Laying the briquettes out in a flat layer with the odd firelighter scattered about is a recipe for disaster.

Much easier to light if you have one of those piezo lighter wands, rather than matches in a gusty environment – I sometimes tightly roll up kitchen roll, light that using a match & then use it as a wick to get the firelighters going, as it burns longer than a match and you don’t burn your fingers.

I would buy briquettes, rather than charcoal; in my experience the charcoal gets going quicker, but dies really quickly and if there’s a lot of you, you won’t get much cooking time.

Also, use more fuel than you think you’ll really need. It’ll save having to try & get it going again if it cools down before you have finished cooking.

Also, use more fuel than you think you’ll really need. It’ll save having to try & get it going again if it cools down before you have finished cooking.

Yeah, I was thinking a gentle excess would be good
(It’s a double sided grill so I’m thinking light one side initially and move to the second if we’re still at it, though may need both at once if everybody’s hungry)

Colin Furze thinks you should man up a bit……

Getting a charcoal chimney thing revolutionised my BBQ performance – well worth the ten quid it cost at Homebase.

Definitely get briquettes they will last a good two hours once lit! Plenty of time to do food for 25. Its also a more constant heat once going unlike charcoal which gets really hot quickly then quickly loses heat.
Firelights & Chimney starter (if you can get to a B&Q or Homebase they are reduced as they get rid of the summer stuff.

If doing chicken, pre-cook and marinate at home then just brown on the grill (Safety first!)

Don’t forget your utensils as poking a hot bbq with a plastic fork ain’t fun.

If you’re going the briquettes route (as wisely advised), my two rules of thumb are…

1. Way more than you think you’ll need. You really can’t add more later.

2. Be patient, very patient. You’re looking at at least an hour from match strike to cooking. Coal should be internally red, with white ash coating. Almost no black coals left, though you always get one or two from round the edge. You’ll easily get 1hr+ (usually about 2) cooking time, so no rush to start, but you need to light early enough.

If doing chicken, pre-cook and marinate at home then just brown on the grill (Safety first!)

Also works with ribs, 45-60min in the oven covered in a foil-covered dish, then <5min on the grill to nicely char them.

Get 10-15kg of regular briquettes and 5kg of lumpwood (lumpwood is handy if your at the end of cooking and want a quick addition of cooking heat).

Unless there is a huge lump of meat being cooked for an age – then get an additional 5kg briquettes.

Ask around at work if there are any chimney starters you can borrow – ace way to start a bbq.

With a chimney starter use about a pack of playing cards firelighter lump (2/3rd would work well too), without a chimney starter I prefer fluid (which takes longer but you can squirt it around the bbq to clean (set fire to) the grill and associated stuff on it.

No petrol etc – you’ll taste it on the food.

If doing chicken (where you cannot bbq indirectly) I prefer to bbq for ~30 mins , 6 minutes in the microwave, then 5 minutes back on the bbq, cooks through, removes a lot of excess fat and yet it’s still crispy on the outside and moist on the inside.

Google “indirect cooking bbq”
Makes it all so much easier.

I caved in & bought a couple of chimneys, fiver each. SMASHED it !

well done everyone

(there was a hint of pissing rain at several points but the grill was too hot to touch 3 hrs after starting. Hurrah for overkill)

🙂 we love an update

:nods:

Late to this but for posterity’s sake – lighter chimneys FTW.

I see lighting a BBQ from scratch vs using a chimney like having the right tool for headsets. It’s a rite of passage to be able to knock in a headset with a mallet and some wood, and any home mechanic should at least do it that way to prove they can. Then get a proper press and whack them in with ease. To be a man you have to be able to light a BBQ but then get a chimney and remove the faff on subsequent goes.

(I also use a chimney as the heat source when doing seared meat. Get it goings, put the grill on top, meat on the grill, and then blow gently into the lower vents – it’s like the blast from a Eurofighter’s afterburners!)

If doing chicken, pre-cook and marinate at home

If you steam the chicken for 10 – 15 mins then finish on the BBQ it works really well. Doesn’t dry out.

we’ve covered this, just get in few Stellas