Let’s hear them and try and make me feel better !

Currently in Holland staying on what is arguably the worst campsite I have ever stayed on in almost 40 years of camping ! We have gone from one extreme to the other as the last week we have spent in Texel in why I can only describe as the best site ever so much so we have already booked it for next summer !

At the moment the site we are in is a literally a car park of noise and people I actually feel like crying ! The said site is a mainstream one with a theme park attached (duinrell) it’s not family oriented in the least.

Rant over at least the boys like it !

Totally ruined what’ started out patchy into a great holiday to something like this !

So what sh1t sites have you stayed at and why ?

Sounds like a typical English campsite.

Conversely I stayed on a lovely one in the Lakes last weekend. Very clean, quiet, superb facilities. However it was a lot more than the farmer’s field prices I tend to pay and it wasn’t a real campsite (no spiders and moths in the bogs).

What appeared to be a cockroach in the shower at a Peak District camp site.

Adam Henson helping clear the blocked toilets at his farm park camp site.

Stayed in one when I was a student somewhere in rural France. The toilet block was basically a trench in the ground with planks with holes in for you to sit on. The stench was unbelievable. After that I didn’t fancy trying the showers. Only stayed one night thankfully as we were on our way back home. Went to pay at the farmhouse and the owner, an old chap dressed a bit like steptoe, ushered me into his kitchen which was absolutely full with junk and old plates with rotten food and two even older women sitting at the large kitchen table. The stench was even worse than the toilets! Wasn’t all bad though as he only charged me 5 francs for the four of us.

Back in the day the Ailefroide campsite in the Ecrin had your classic squat down french toilets. They didn’t flush when you pulled a chain, they flushed in a constant rolling sequence and the flush tended to well up out the pan and over your feet carrying with it some of what was in the pan. The trick was to wait until one bog had flushed then jump in and do your business keeping an ear out for the next approaching tidal wave.

Mind you, it was close to the climbing.

My chief complaint these days are the astronomical prices some campsites think they can charge.

I once went to Glororum Campsite near Bamburgh; arriving on Thursday night before Easter weekend we were instructed to pitch next to the chemical disposal point. By Friday night we were completely surrounded by other people and unable to get our car out without asking other people to move theirs. The noise of shrieking kids until midnight was astonishing. Told them my daughter was ill and left Sat morning with a refund…

My chief complaint these days are the astronomical prices some campsites think they can charge.

agree, £25 a night seems quite normal nowadays,… although we just paid £5.50 (the 50p is for one shower) per night each, which is pretty darn cheap, and right by the mountains in snowdonia.

£25 a night seems quite normal nowadays

Been charged more than that for 2 people on a few occasions.

This year we stayed in a great one 10 mins from Calais. Two years ago it was gravelines, further away and I’m pretty sure it was a site where lots of people stayed when not tarmacing drives, that and the christian union sing along made me alternate between nervous and homicidal. Not good when your on the first train home.

One in woolacombe north Devon. 01:00 and cars open with steros going. I went in balls deep asking for the music to be turned down which after some moaning it was. Then could not sleep as I was so angary!!

Yeah Ruda campsite near Barnstaple had some pretty unsavoury types, like proper wannabe ‘ardman teenagers in effect chavs.

Until they got knocked the **** out by some locals, awwww how I loved that 😆

national park one at Langdale is poor.
Rydal Hall is heaven.

Different strokes etc, Duinrell was one of the best family holidays we ever had.

Torridon at the wrong time of year. Midgiegeddon.

Brugge campsite is slammes by the brits on tripadvisor. Thats because the tight **** booked cheaper smaller pictures on purpose then whinged that the tent only pitches were too small for their car+family tents…..

The Cauldron at Heyling Island…
Words cannot describe the horror!

Recent experience near Hereford with some long-term caravans and other campers on site all competing with bass-bins and some frankly awful music.

Also a nice curly mummifying turd in a french shower, thanks for that mystery merde-r weekend, Mr/Mrs Merde.

I decided not to unfurl my inner Keith.

[video]http://youtu.be/WCzKOYUvD3E[/video]

Just had 2 weeks in Europe in the camper, sites ranged from 8 euro for electric hook up and free showers in France to 30 euro just outside Amsterdam. I think the last was overpriced but it was very close to the ferry back so was happy to pay it.
I’ve paid £26 at a site in Pooley Bridge in the Lakes for a tent and no elec and recently £28 in North Yorks.
Some places are overpriced, some are over hyped and others get away with murder.

A few years ago on getting to the shower block with only one 20p to his name for a shower my mate Steve decided to strip off lather up and then put his money in the box to get the most from his 3 mins shower.
Clothes off and neatly folded he proceeded to liberally apply his shower gel then lent out of his cubicle and dropped the money in the slot, cue the bloke in the next cubicle screaming out as the hot shower covered him as he got dressed.

Hora, is that Brugge site Memling? I was going to try and get there on the way back towards the ferry but ran out of days.

Clothes off and neatly folded he proceeded to liberally apply his shower gel then lent out of his cubicle and dropped the money in the slot, cue the bloke in the next cubicle screaming out as the hot shower covered him as he got dressed.

Brilliant! Proper lol at that one.

Just past Bridge of Orchy, a lovely place to camp in the evening with a wee pub within staggering distance, perfect. Then next morning opened the tent flap to see a solid wall of midges. Trying to walk quickly in circles while eating gritty black-flecked porridge and muttering fuckofffuckofffuckoff then packing up the tent as fast as possible with a thick coating of pressed midge rolled into it.

Was scratching for the rest of the week. Got bitten on the eyeballs, and the other ones too.

We stayed at a “Haven” site once. Indescribable.

White101- thatsit. Two pitch sizes; 20sq metres and 80sq metres. The former alot cheaper. A fair few of the reviews say ‘we booked and arrived and had to park our car away from tent/very cramped etc’. 80sq metres is needed and gives you enough space for a 6man and car with breathing space. Its clean, busy and fine. Its also got an ace little wooded area and a supermarket full of booze nearby. (Just recked the reviews- all better). Maybe my comments on booking/chosing the right pitch size and why helped)

I stayed at a really nice campsite in Suffolk a few years back. Everything had been perfect until the final night when until my then girlfriend let out a blood curdling scream on her way to bed at midnight. It seems we parked our tent on a nest of earwigs or something, there were hundreds of the things climbing up the poles and then dropping into the inner tent (tent has seen better days). It was like something from a nightmare, earwigs everywhere. Slept in the car that night.

We went to Cornwall a few years ago. 7 hour drive with the kids fighting all the way, we left late so got there about 5pm went to set up the tent and like a nob I left the poles in the garage. Cost me 450 quid to get a new tent from the only place still open at 6pm. Got set up about 9pm. The wife and I hardly spoke all week.

Stayed in one in snowdonia a few years back, arrived on the saturday and were told “We’re a bit busy near the farm, your best bet’s the far field”. Which was fine, it was quiet and still only a short walk to the facilities. What they didn’t mention or signpost was that half the field flooded whenever it rained.

Climbing in Pembroke and we stayed at a farm site near the cliffs. Well towards midnight a bunch of idiots arrived back from the pub, started their cars, circled them with the headlights on and played a game of floodlit football. Lack of consideration like that is the reason why I don’t use campsites any more; a wild camp is free, peaceful and far more satisfying, especially if there’s a river or tarn nearby for a swim and fresh water.

In fact Mrs Gti and I spent our first night ever together camping by a small Lakes tarn and skinny-dipping, such a lovely place that I’m not going to tell anybody where it is!

Campsite by the alternative energy centre in machynlleth..

Massive great blue slate area for caravans with the poo disposal point right in the middle. Round the edge of campsite was stragically placed dog muck so you couldn’t pitch a tent without a quick clearance.

The toilets were actually an insect and beastie hotel.. One of the cubicles didn’t have a working light. That turned out to be a blessing as it didn’t disturb the critters..

It was horrid… But cheap!

We went camping near Market Bosworth a couple of weekends ago with my sister & her kids. Stayed at the Bosworth Water & Leisure Park.
The site was OK at best; all the facilities seemed like they’d done the bare minimum necessary, the staff were not very friendly & there were bloody wasps everywhere.

Not wanting to sound too STW-middle class & judgemental (although aware that I will fail with my next sentence), the site seemed to be the favourite haunt of your typical British chav.
There were large groups of families with young kids who were constantly being shouted & sworn at by the parents, blokes getting up in the morning & the first thing they’d do was crack out the Makita site radio & stick some bangin’ toonz on for the whole campsite to hear (shit R&B rubbish).

On the last night, one group decided to have a fire and the only source of firewood appeared to be the trees around their tents. So, up they climbed with torches & started snapping large branches off, while shouting & laughing at each other.
Next morning, one of their cars wouldn’t start so they spent about an hour shouting at each other while pushing this car up & down to try & bump start it.

Not sure we’ll be going back.

We camped at a farm with Llamas. One of the ‘highlights’ along with the blast quarry nearby was when we were in a field and one of the llamas started acting very oddly. The farmer looked quite concerned and shouted ‘Quick, look aggressive or he will knock you to the ground and try and mount you’ It was cheap though

Midgie hell on Skye. Horrible experience, was like a horror movie watching the futility of folk trying to escape them. Tent thrown in the car and sped out with all windows down, 10 minutes just driving with thousand yard stares….

And the young couple next to us in Keswick who were obviously ‘discovering each other’ at regular intervals for most the night. Tents aren’t soundproof people.

The farmer looked quite concerned and shouted ‘Quick, look aggressive or he will knock you to the ground and try and mount you’

He would probably have charged you extra for that!

Touring Dorset area in the camper van a couple of years ago during school holidays and looking for a site, near Weymouth IIRC. Tried one of these big holiday park places which we don’t often stop at but thought it might be nice for daughter to use the pool etc. They had one pitch available, a fully serviced pitch with electric, water, and drainage, all for the princely sum of £79. Yes, £79 for just one night 😯 We didn’t stay.

We’ve done a couple of overlanding trips to Morocco – Campsites there range from a Palm tree lined Oasis’ with an Auberge serving exquisite food at the top end – to a gravel car park with ‘facilities’ from a horror movie at the ‘budget’ end.

You know the loos are bad when you wife chooses to go for a walk with a shovel, rather than use them!

Oh, and stayed at a Haven site in Great Yarmouth a few years back – and I’d rather do battle with the scorpions and camel spiders in Morocco!

£79 – jesus !

Many tales of horror, we spent a night in the van in the Top10 in Rotorua, NZ. If you’ve been there you’ll know Rotovegas is a bit iffy. Parked up, went to get some dinner and when we came back there was a caravan literally touching our van so they could also park the two vans, car and dogs etc. Whatever, then the banshee woman started screaming and shouting until midnight. It was mental, their poor kids were traumatised little things.
Also seen someone doing shagging shadow puppets a couple of times , that always amuses me.

when we came back there was a caravan literally touching our van

What is it with folks doing this? We parked our van way down the far end of a quiet campsite in Switzerland, fully 100m away from the nearest other campers. 20 mins later this Russian guy parks directly in front of us and about 3m away and starts pitching his tent. He saw sense after a bit of gesticulating.

I camped at Rosedale. The office had a big sign saying “no groups” so I expected a quiet night. Then a huge van pulled up and disgorged a gang of chavs who’d presumably hidden in the back while their mate claimed it was just him and his missus. They went to the pub and got lashed, then returned to drink more and fire up a BBQ. By 2 in the morning singing and swearing was no longer sufficient entertainment so they started fighting each other. We left early.

Camping at the Great Yorkshire Show. Last year I saw a large window fall out of a caravan that was rocking from side to side while parked up. The next day I witnessed a large lady wedged into the doorway of her caravan, screaming whilst her man tried in vain with his shoulder up her not inconsiderable backside to move her. I wasn’t sure if she had been trying to escape. It’s quite an experience but at least I’m getting paid to be there but if we are back again next year I think some stealth camping might be in order.

I stayed near Alston recently and dug this up from the last ‘horror campsite’ thread (they come round every couple of years).

It can’t be that bad I thought after an 80 mile day and another 5 to the nice site (up an f ing big hill).

Shite it most certainly is. If you fancy camping in a scrappy with utterly dire facilities, off to the Alston garage you go young man. 🙂 I cycled the extra to avoid it despite being pooped.