The mind boggles at how this appalling movie got five stars in the world's press. It's truly dire, giving The Last Airbender and Perfume close competition in the "Worst Film Ever Made" competition.
Starting with the complete lack of plot, scripting, storyline, acting, exposition, direction, or, really, any of the things you find in even a half-rate motion picture it goes from bad to worse, leaving the audience floundering along wondering just what's going on, or indeed, what happened twenty minutes ago. The 3D works fairly well, but only to the extent of watching Captain America's breasts emerge out of the screen on a disturbingly frequent basis.
For those of us who haven't seen every other film in the collection, a synopsis at the beginning of whatever a Tesseract is would have been appreciated. The only entertaining character was Robert Downey Jr as Ironman, and this was utter shite compared to IM1 and IM2.
Things improve very slightly in the second half when the attempts at acting stop - "There's only one God, and he doesn't dress like that" - and the film moves on to blowing up New York. Even that, it doesn't do particularly well, and it continues in this mediocre way until the entirely predictable and frankly vomit inducing ending.
I normally like films where the acting is dire and the explosions many, but this gets it wrong on so many levels it's put me off Marvel adaptations for life. And where was the girl from Kick-Ass?
Golden Turkey Award.