The mind boggles at how this appalling movie got five stars in the world’s press. It’s truly dire, giving The Last Airbender and Perfume close competition in the “Worst Film Ever Made” competition.

Starting with the complete lack of plot, scripting, storyline, acting, exposition, direction, or, really, any of the things you find in even a half-rate motion picture it goes from bad to worse, leaving the audience floundering along wondering just what’s going on, or indeed, what happened twenty minutes ago. The 3D works fairly well, but only to the extent of watching Captain America’s breasts emerge out of the screen on a disturbingly frequent basis.

For those of us who haven’t seen every other film in the collection, a synopsis at the beginning of whatever a Tesseract is would have been appreciated. The only entertaining character was Robert Downey Jr as Ironman, and this was utter shite compared to IM1 and IM2.

Things improve very slightly in the second half when the attempts at acting stop – “There’s only one God, and he doesn’t dress like that” – and the film moves on to blowing up New York. Even that, it doesn’t do particularly well, and it continues in this mediocre way until the entirely predictable and frankly vomit inducing ending.

I normally like films where the acting is dire and the explosions many, but this gets it wrong on so many levels it’s put me off Marvel adaptations for life. And where was the girl from Kick-Ass?

1/10
Golden Turkey Award.

Think you watched a different film to me..

And where was the girl from Kick-Ass?

You mean Chloe Moretz? The little one? She wasn’t in the movie.

Where was Chuck Norris? he’d’ve floored that demi god with one upper cut.

Don’t most of the brain dead rot that passes for film these days get five stars in the advert? A bit like those cosmetic adverts where they win a made-up award?

Avengers – complete and utter crap

A big budget Hollywood adaptation of a Marvel comic? In 3d? And it wasn’t very good, you say? Who’d have thunk it eh?

yeah i watched it last night at the cinema – was entertaining but i was left going WTF alot – and it was a bit slow tbh

the hulk was funny though “puny god” – BAM BAM BAM BAM

agree robert downey Jnr seemed to be the only one with any spine in the movie. captain america was a touch wooden and thor just looked really uncomfortable with all those close up moody shots they tried to do.

everyone at work was banging on about scarlett johannson being stunning in it – FWIW – maria hill – nick furys assistant is much nicer looking

in all – wont bother going to see the next one.

Get Kevin Smith to direct the next one, that said I enjoyed the it

its actually really pretty damn good

well paced, laugh out loud funny.

And it is about 1 billion times better than Iron Man 2

It’s just a film to take the kids to see, surely?

I didn’t like it, though I went with lower expectations that the OP. The problem with these superhero films is that the heros need some kind of logical weakness, otherwise you left watching them smash into buildings and fall out of the sky with no real idea of whether they’re in any danger or whatever, and hence it ends up as an exercise in special effects.

It needs more kryptonite.

Also, what the hell was going on?

For those of us who haven’t seen every other film in the collection, a synopsis at the beginning of whatever a Tesseract is would have been appreciated.

I read a positive review of Avengers the other day that made the complete opposite point: that is was nice not to have to sit through background/intro stories for each character because you already know who they are from their own films.

The 3D works fairly well, but only to the extent of watching Scarlett Johannson’s breasts emerge out of the screen on a disturbingly frequent basis.

quite enjoyed it tbh

binners +1

I would emphasise the comic book aspect… Comic Book. Jeez.

was expecting to be bored by it, but actually really enjoyed it, some laugh out loud bits and a few people in the cinema actually applauded at the end (maybe it was relief?)

Yeah it was a pretty trash film. Most people I know came out saying it was “**** awesome” when in reality it was shit and in 5 years time wont be remember as anything other than “that superhero movie thing”

I liked it ! , we didn’t splash out for the 3D version as most of the 3D films we’ve seen over the last few years haven’t impressed me much.

Having said that we’re super hero nuts in this house anyway.

Really liked it but then I am a Joss Wheadon fanboy

Really liked it but then I am a Joss Wheadon fanboy

Fanboy fail

(artist Kevin Bolk)

Very lol at that pic Graham.

I really enjoyed it at the cinema – and for the first time in a while, I paid to see a film. On premier seats too. With a massive box of popcorn.

ohnohesback

A bit like those cosmetic adverts where they win a made-up award?

Wouldn’t that be a make up award?

I enjoyed it, couple of hours mindless entertainment

Of all the criticisms you could (rightly or wrongly) level at it, surely “hard to understand” has to be fairly low on the list unless you routinely struggle with the complex highbrow plots in the Tweenies.

Then again, I made sure I’d watched all the previous origin stories before watching a film that follows on from four others. I guess Empire Strikes Back would have been slightly confusing if you hasn’t seen Star Wars.

Cougar!

best part for me was watching all the other films over the couple of weeks before and seeing them all come together on the screen for this one, i completely agree that it was excellent seeing a superhero movie that didnt waste 30% of the film telling you how they got their superpowers.

the film is after all the continuation of 6 earlier films- if you cant be arsed to watch them why go see the avengers?

id say massive cinemagoer FAIL,

Ah, just reread the OP’s post

For those of us who haven’t seen every other film in the collection

I can see why he didn’t understand it, what i can’t fathom is why not watch the other films in the series 1st

And i need to add, lol at the Stan Lee appearance 🙂

Its brain in a jar by the door popcorn stuff, if you went looking for a plot & some acting try The Piano or something similar.. 🙄

HULK SMASH!!!

Wait a minute. We own all the other movies, and we are planning to watch this on Saturday.

I think we need a movie night in…

Saw it last night, and loved it to bits. I suggest the OP stick with the chickflic movies he’s more in tune with. A bunch of real LOL! moments, like Thor’s ‘he’s adopted!’ call from the background about Loki, and Loki pontificating to Hulk, then sudden cut to Hulk holding him by the ankles and slamming him from side to side into the floor.
…But I had bothered to go and see all the preceding films when they came out.
And Joss Whedon is the master of the rear shot of his female cast walking away, Scarlett Johansson’s ass ought to be classed as a World Heritage Site!

Loki pontificating to Hulk, then sudden cut to Hulk holding him by the ankles and slamming him from side to side into the floor.

Wow, almost Swiftian in its rapier-like subtlety.

Cougar!

Hello yes?!

Flaperon – Member

For those of us who haven’t seen every other film in the collection, a synopsis at the beginning of whatever a Tesseract is would have been appreciated.

I haven’t seen most of the other films, somehow I got it. And the Tesseract is a standard mcguffin , and this film tells you all you need to know about it… (It’s Marcellus Wallace’s soul, incidentally)

I thought it was great. Maybe some of the wit of it was a little insider-ey but I’m not a comics fan or really a superhero fan and I thought it worked well. Generic bad-guy aliens were a bit ropey and it could have done with some slicks of blood.

Comic Book

surely you mean “Graphic Novel”? 🙄

Cougar!

Hello yes?!

You have been absent for ages that’s all.

Bonus points for identifying the quote in my previous post.

Flaperon you liked it then 😉 to be honest i don’t watch films very often myself,BUT i cannot wait to see prometheus (not long now 😀

TBH i thought it was one of, if not the best, comic book films to date…

Only let down for me was no Wasp or Ant Man (replaceing them by hawk eye and black widow, who are not ‘true’ Avengers)…

its no war horse – but then again, its a comic book film, get over it….

Avengers? Rubbish? I can’t go along with that. I’ll grant you the gearbox on mine was a bit iffy but other than that it was sound as a pound. Probably in a scrapyard now. Very sad.

On holiday.

Quote was Red Dwarf I think. Butler bloke to Lister?