If she rides normally, then she should know which bits get sore.
that's the whole point, she's a novice and hasn't ridden a bike for decades, so I want to make the outing as trouble-free as possible 
Bike Forum
Assos for girls too ?
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Posted 10 months ago #
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I can picture it now....
Simon approaches with camera in one hand and big tin of "lube" in the other....
I don't think we'll see her out on another ride
Posted 10 months ago # -
I can picture it now....
you may be able to picture your own inept fumbling but you have no concept of mine
Posted 10 months ago # -
I trust you'll not be double dipping...
Posted 10 months ago # -
I tried it - it was horrible! All burning and hot, I had to wash it off, pronto, and change shorts. Yuk. (and that was not on any sticky bits) I use good padded shorts, vaseline or the light pink germolene which is slightly greasy (for slip-factor) but more importantly, has a local anaesthetic - it's brilliant for v long rides.
Posted 10 months ago # -
I trust you'll not be double dipping...
that's funny - I carry an old Assos tub with jelly babies in and when I offer it round people often make comments about arse lard etc, though I point out it was only ever single dip and I did of course scrub it out carefully before putting in the sweeties
Posted 10 months ago # -
SFB - pmsl
My tub must have been faulty
Posted 10 months ago # -
If this is the Assos cream then you are on about it's fine for girlies. I use it on longer road rides, you apply it to the chamois on your shorts, not your skin!! But it's fine .
Posted 10 months ago # -
My tub must have been faulty
of course, I'm sure you're fully functional :o)
Posted 10 months ago # -
you apply it to the chamois on your shorts, not your skin!!
I've always put it on me on the grounds that I don't care about treating the parts of the chamois which don't touch me
Posted 10 months ago # -
Or get her to use Sudocreme. Works better that Assos cream for me.
Posted 10 months ago # -
I tried it - it was horrible! All burning and hot
Karin raises a good point - might not be welcomed by a newcomer, compared to something more neutral.
Personally I like the warm tingle, especially once it has settle down into a contented hum.
Still, its nothing compared to a slightly over enthusiastic application of Deep Heat to the upper thigh region ...
Posted 10 months ago # -
My mum uses 'udder cream'. You get it from the vets (our vet is a cattle vet), costs about £1 a kilo and has just the same stuff in it apparently,
C
Posted 10 months ago # -
ChrisE - Member
My mum uses 'udder cream'. You get it from the vets (our vet is a cattle vet), costs about £1 a kilo
At least you get a lot of cream for the money
SFB I wonder what reaction You would get from the lady when You would give her a 1kg tub of udder cream
Posted 10 months ago # -
Some girls need the value as they have a large area to cover (......not my mun though in case she's on here!!)
C
Posted 10 months ago # -
I wonder what reaction You would get from the lady when You would give her a 1kg tub of udder cream
I'll let her read this later and she what she says
Posted 10 months ago # -
ALL REJOICE FOR THE GREAT BARNES HE HATH RETURNETH!
Happy happy, and indeed Joy Joy, quite frankly.
Posted 10 months ago # -
I think this board has missed your input Simon.
Posted 10 months ago # -
Happy happy, and indeed Joy Joy, quite frankly.
I'm not sure I have returned, other than for this specific info - I don't think I have the time for the meleé of middleaged angst...
Posted 10 months ago # -
Simon don't be a spoil sport. Anyway we need your photoage
Posted 10 months ago # -
or 4Kg for the more ample lady;
They probably do a 10Kg tub for Morecambe girls....
Posted 10 months ago # -
Savlon, works well and shouldn't matter if you slather it around all over ' shop.
Posted 10 months ago # -
or 4Kg for the more ample lady;
this one is delightfully skinny
Posted 10 months ago # -
You have to say that if you're showing her the thread later
Posted 10 months ago # -
My mum uses 'udder cream'. You get it from the vets (our vet is a cattle vet), costs about £1 a kilo and has just the same stuff in it apparently,
I nearly fell off my seat. That's the best post I've ever read
Posted 10 months ago # -
before we drift too far into misogynistic Far-Slaggism can I just point out it's the MTB blokes whose ample fundaments are more likely to accommodate dumper trucks-full of udder cream??
Posted 10 months ago # -
the thought of sfb offering a young lady a half used put of chamois creme and saying in a soft voice
wipe this round yer bits
has put me off my lunch
Posted 10 months ago # -
I bought a tub of the ASSOS (as CRC were out of the Udder one which is brilliant btw) and applied seconds before zooming out with me mates. Within one minute of setting off down the street I experienced that stomach-dropping moment when you realise you've made a massive mistake. That was the worst night ride of my life.
Your friend is more than likely to have one of those lip balm tins of vaseline. It'll work fine.
Posted 10 months ago # -
Hmmm, well, I've just remembered I have some Utterly Butterly left over too, so I'll go for that
has put me off my lunch
you must have a weak stomach if clean fingered cream is so offputting
You have to say that if you're showing her the thread later
yes, but it's nice when compliment and fact accord :o)Posted 10 months ago # -
when you realise you've made a massive mistake
but was that because of your lady bits or just a general dislike?
Posted 10 months ago # -
when you realise you've made a massive mistakebut was that because of your lady bits or just a general dislike?
or just a mistake on something massive......
Posted 10 months ago # -
in the end she was able to wear my old Summit shorts with the velcro done up tight so no cream needed
Posted 10 months ago # -
So Simon, are we supposed to believe that it was she who was trying to get into your shorts and not vice-versa?
Posted 10 months ago # -
are we supposed to believe that it was she who was trying to get into your shorts and not vice-versa?
I certainly made no such allegations
Posted 10 months ago #
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