I trust you’ll not be double dipping…

that’s funny – I carry an old Assos tub with jelly babies in and when I offer it round people often make comments about arse lard etc, though I point out it was only ever single dip and I did of course scrub it out carefully before putting in the sweeties 🙂

SFB – pmsl

My tub must have been faulty

If this is the Assos cream then you are on about it’s fine for girlies. I use it on longer road rides, you apply it to the chamois on your shorts, not your skin!! But it’s fine .

My tub must have been faulty

of course, I’m sure you’re fully functional :o)

you apply it to the chamois on your shorts, not your skin!!

I’ve always put it on me on the grounds that I don’t care about treating the parts of the chamois which don’t touch me 🙂

Or get her to use Sudocreme. Works better that Assos cream for me.

I tried it – it was horrible! All burning and hot

Karin raises a good point – might not be welcomed by a newcomer, compared to something more neutral.

Personally I like the warm tingle, especially once it has settle down into a contented hum.

Still, its nothing compared to a slightly over enthusiastic application of Deep Heat to the upper thigh region …

My mum uses ‘udder cream’. You get it from the vets (our vet is a cattle vet), costs about £1 a kilo and has just the same stuff in it apparently,

C

ChrisE – Member
My mum uses ‘udder cream’. You get it from the vets (our vet is a cattle vet), costs about £1 a kilo

😯

At least you get a lot of cream for the money 😀

SFB I wonder what reaction You would get from the lady when You would give her a 1kg tub of udder cream 😀

Some girls need the value as they have a large area to cover (……not my mun though in case she’s on here!!)

C

I wonder what reaction You would get from the lady when You would give her a 1kg tub of udder cream

I’ll let her read this later and she what she says 🙂

ALL REJOICE FOR THE GREAT BARNES HE HATH RETURNETH! 😀

Happy happy, and indeed Joy Joy, quite frankly.

I think this board has missed your input Simon.

Happy happy, and indeed Joy Joy, quite frankly.

I’m not sure I have returned, other than for this specific info – I don’t think I have the time for the meleé of middleaged angst…

Simon don’t be a spoil sport. Anyway we need your photoage

or 4Kg for the more ample lady;

They probably do a 10Kg tub for Morecambe girls….

Savlon, works well and shouldn’t matter if you slather it around all over ‘ shop.

or 4Kg for the more ample lady;

this one is delightfully skinny 🙂

You have to say that if you’re showing her the thread later 😉

My mum uses ‘udder cream’. You get it from the vets (our vet is a cattle vet), costs about £1 a kilo and has just the same stuff in it apparently,

I nearly fell off my seat. That’s the best post I’ve ever read 😀

before we drift too far into misogynistic Far-Slaggism can I just point out it’s the MTB blokes whose ample fundaments are more likely to accommodate dumper trucks-full of udder cream??

the thought of sfb offering a young lady a half used put of chamois creme and saying in a soft voice

wipe this round yer bits

has put me off my lunch

I bought a tub of the ASSOS (as CRC were out of the Udder one which is brilliant btw) and applied seconds before zooming out with me mates. Within one minute of setting off down the street I experienced that stomach-dropping moment when you realise you’ve made a massive mistake. That was the worst night ride of my life.

Your friend is more than likely to have one of those lip balm tins of vaseline. It’ll work fine.

Hmmm, well, I’ve just remembered I have some Utterly Butterly left over too, so I’ll go for that 🙂

has put me off my lunch

you must have a weak stomach if clean fingered cream is so offputting 🙂

You have to say that if you’re showing her the thread later

yes, but it’s nice when compliment and fact accord :o)

when you realise you’ve made a massive mistake

but was that because of your lady bits or just a general dislike?

when you realise you’ve made a massive mistake

but was that because of your lady bits or just a general dislike?

or just a mistake on something massive……

in the end she was able to wear my old Summit shorts with the velcro done up tight so no cream needed 🙂

So Simon, are we supposed to believe that it was she who was trying to get into your shorts and not vice-versa? 😉

are we supposed to believe that it was she who was trying to get into your shorts and not vice-versa?

I certainly made no such allegations 🙂