• This topic has 57 replies, 42 voices, and was last updated 7 years ago by Houns.
Viewing 40 posts - 1 through 40 (of 58 total)
  • As of tomorrow..
  • bearnecessities
    Full Member

    ..it’ll be 7 days since I’ve had a poo.

    That’s not right, is it?

    CaptainFlashheart
    Free Member

    But you have a kite, I assume?

    davosaurusrex
    Full Member

    Strewth! That’s not right at all. You want to do what a mathematician would do….

    Fresh Goods Friday 696: The Middling Edition

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    btbb
    Free Member

    Bears don’t poo when they hibernate. You’ll be ok, go back to sleep!

    slackalice
    Free Member

    No, it’s not right.

    Prune juice or anal douche. Don’t douche prune juice though, sometimes the direct approach isn’t the most ideal.

    Personally, I’ve gone the douche route with great painless success.

    Real question is why?

    bearnecessities
    Full Member

    slackalice

    Show off.

    I have no idea why. It’s odd. I have consumed a healthy range of fodder as usual and don’t feel any physical effects.

    Hmm.

    perchypanther
    Free Member

    When you finally manage to go it’ll make your whole week.

    Bregante
    Full Member

    Or your hole weak

    maccruiskeen
    Full Member

    Theres a self help DVD been made about what to do if you’ve been constipated for seven days.

    But it hasn’t come out yet.

    CaptainFlashheart
    Free Member

    When you finally manage to go it’ll make your whole week.

    Might need an Olympic effort

    Teetosugars
    Free Member

    They’d be teeth marks on the back if the bog door if I’d not been fir a week..
    Reminds me of being on exercise and living off Compo.
    The first dump back on a proper Gary, was always a bit, well, emotional.

    wwaswas
    Full Member

    Seriously: get it sorted before you poison yourself with decaying food stuffs.

    slackalice
    Free Member

    bearnecessities

    Thanks 😉

    scaredypants
    Full Member

    Nothing to worry about; you’ve started sleep-shiteing, obvz

    Check under local hedges for evidence

    bearnecessities
    Full Member

    Seriously: get it sorted before you poison yourself with decaying food stuffs.

    I feel fine though?! Surely if I was being poisoned from the inside by broccoli and muesli, I’d feel a bit off, or bloated at least?

    daftvader
    Free Member

    Picolax…. ”tis the only way!

    monkeysfeet
    Free Member

    When the beast appears….
    http://www.ratemypoo.com/bestof.html

    howsyourdad1
    Free Member

    Espresso , line of Charlie, cigarette

    tjagain
    Full Member

    Always thought you were full of it 🙂

    Not really squire. Just couldn’t resist the joke. Get yourself to a pharmacist, get some senna or macrogol

    epo-aholic
    Free Member

    try nhs 101 and if that doesn’t work (it wont, they’ll likely tell you some bullshit you’re gonna die) call 999……or just make an appt. with your Doc or pop along to a&e…..not pleasant, been there! :-/

    huckleberryfatt
    Free Member

    Maybe you’ll get one in the office secret santa?

    jambalaya
    Free Member

    Definitely not right. Get some medication but its worth asking Doctor too. Have you been drinking enough – doesn’t sound like it.

    Good luck the exit is going to be painful …

    singletrackmind
    Full Member

    Jest if you want to , but a twisted colon that presnted itself as the inability to poo killed my dad.
    Honestly , supository first then Gp

    jekkyl
    Full Member

    There once was a bear who’d forgotten how to poo…

    CaptainFlashheart
    Free Member

    allthegear
    Free Member

    Was wondering if I was going to click though and see the OP had written something more like:

    As of tomorrow..

    Please call me bearnakedlady.

    Rachel

    thestabiliser
    Free Member

    pico nano milli centi deci kilo mega gigalax

    sweepy
    Free Member

    If you don’t shit you die, you need to do something about that.

    P-Jay
    Free Member

    More than 3 days and it’s GP time I’m told.

    A nice nurse might offer you a digital examination, sadly it’s nothing to do with ones and zeros, no the other kind of digits.

    sweepy
    Free Member

    I’m a nice nurse and I’m going nowhere near it,
    You need a nasty nurse.

    jekkyl
    Full Member

    Helga with Rubber gloves and some lube?

    cheekyboy
    Free Member

    Has the bear been yet ?

    thepurist
    Full Member

    If and when it does break cover make sure you weigh yourself before and after – how much does a week’s worth of poo weigh?

    matt_outandabout
    Full Member

    Do we need the picolax thread resurrecting?

    tjagain
    Full Member

    *waves*
    *gets rubber gloves out*

    fergal
    Free Member

    Is your nickname colon?

    Because you are so full of shit.

    bearnecessities
    Full Member

    All clear. 🙂

    Thepurist. In the interest of science.. http://singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/top-dumps

    maccruiskeen
    Full Member

    A Bear’s ‘fecal plug’ stops unwanted vermin crawling up their fundament while they’re hibernating. Apparently

    bikebouy
    Free Member

    Pics ??

    tomhoward
    Full Member

    You went down to the woods and got a surprise?

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