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  • Artichoke – food of the Devil
  • bikebouy
    Free Member

    Dis
    Gusting.

    First time in ooooh about 11 years 222 days and 16mins I’ve had one of these hateful balls of vine, teeth knarring, stringy, smelling of poo, slimey and ugly vegetables.

    If I die having not eaten another I will rejoice.

    😈

    lucien
    Full Member

    More for me then……..

    crankboy
    Free Member

    Did you cook it serve it and eat it right ?

    br
    Free Member

    Love ’em on pizza, or even straight out of the jar (Aldi) with a Ploughmans.

    bikebouy
    Free Member

    Raw, gone all raw food vegan shite in the Bouy household*

    * not really! but I followed a recipe and by Jove, it was awful.

    I have another bulb, you are most welcome to it.

    Tell me, how do you cook them??

    ernie_lynch
    Free Member

    I have another bulb

    They’re a thistle, not a daffodil ffs.

    Legoman
    Free Member

    They’re a thistle, not a daffodil ffs.

    Unless it’s a Jerusalem artichoke, which is a tuber (like a potato)

    llama
    Full Member
    slowoldgit
    Free Member

    The Jerusalem ones are really fartichokes

    bikebouy
    Free Member

    Well chaps, thanks for that information. I am however throwing the other one in the bin.

    I read the recipe above, sure it said “once cooked and drained, throw in the nearest bin and open a tin of beans and put some toast on”

    Least, that’s when I read 😉

    cchris2lou
    Full Member

    it is the food of the poor . you have more on your plate when you finish eating it than when you started .

    crankboy
    Free Member

    Boil in lots of water and some lemon juce for 20 mins . make a dip lemon garlic butter anchovy mustard Olive oil are all good ideas . eat by pulling off the petles and sucking off the base of each . when you get to the fibourous inner ( the choke ) pull out all the fibers and discard then eat the heart . don’t eat the stem .
    Alternatively lots of recepies for eating them when the globes are really small and can be prepared like the ones in deli’s.

    crankboy
    Free Member

    Oh and only ever drink water with them .

    crankboy
    Free Member

    Oh and only ever drink water with them .

    hooli
    Full Member

    They are great on pizza with olives and chillies

    ernie_lynch
    Free Member

    Artichokes on pizza ffs. This is what happens when you let Brits and Yanks do their own cooking.

    crankboy
    Free Member

    “Artichokes on pizza ffs. This is what happens when you let Brits and Yanks do their own cooking.” They copy Italians??

    traildog
    Free Member

    I cannot understand how you can not like them. Each to their own I suppose.

    By the way, may I ask if this was the first time you tried them?

    maccruiskeen
    Full Member

    went to a launch event of some sort (if forget what for) in that there London a while back. Was going eat before I got there but was assured there would be food, so I didn’t. ‘Food’ turned out to be a few very large bowls of bar snacks and antipasto distributed around a very large room. The event wasn’t that well attended but was a very good mix and we were all in a little excited huddle in in corner chattering. I was starving. All of the bowls of bar snacks were out of reach except for a bowl containing about a catering tins worth of artichoke hearts. Really quite moreish.

    I think over about 3 hrs I ate them all.

    The next day? Oh dear christ I don’t think the human intestine is designed for that much cellulose. I have genuinely never experienced anything like it – having my abdomen inflated for surgery came close. It was like having a gut full of sharp elbows.

    CaptainFlashheart
    Free Member

    Clearly you’ve never sampled the delights of durian.

    Or mushrooms. Not sure which is more evil, to be honest.

    ernie_lynch
    Free Member

    You mean like chop suey is Chinese CB ?

    Moses
    Full Member

    It’s those little orange toadstools that do it for me.
    They taste divine, especially in a creamy sauce, but they have a dwell time of about 30 minutes.
    I had to turn down an offer of taking a lady home once, as I was so desperate to find a loo to pass flux in, following a meal of the little bastards.

    tang
    Free Member

    Artichoke is lovely. My French friends always serve me one as a starter, butter or vinegarette to dip, and the heart is delicious. Jerusalem artichoke on the other hand are hateful producers of bum gas that well and truly fail the ‘I don’t mind my own’ test.

    zippykona
    Full Member

    At least artichokes aren’t snuck into every sandwich in the shops.
    In reality a cheese and ham sandwich is really a cheese and ham and bloody tomato.
    I’m the victim here.

    andytherocketeer
    Full Member

    ace vegetables

    definitely need the “f” prefix though

    binners
    Full Member

    I cannot understand how you can not like them.

    He did say: ” teeth knarring, stringy, smelling of poo, slimey and ugly vegetables.”

    Spot on description there. I couldn’t agree more. They’re vile things.

    The only thing I hate more is chickpeas. They really are the devils chug-nuts! And when some Greek bloke found he’d made too much tiling grout with them, as they were all they were useful for, and he needed to flog some off, he added some garlic and invented hummus. Somewhat inexplicably, people actually eat it! 😯

    slowpuncheur
    Free Member

    Totally agree. I’ve no intention of consuming another one of those putrid weeds.

    It seems to me that all of the fans think its great – provided it’s smothered in stronger tasting gunk.

    Me, I love ice, especially when it’s drizzled in vodka and coke/gin and tonic/JD and coke……

    kayak23
    Full Member

    The only thing I hate more is chickpeas. They really are the devils chug-nuts!

    You take that back! 👿
    Houmous is the nectar of the Gods and I won’t hear a bad word against it!

    As for Artichokes, lovely pickled or on pizza. Perhaps the OP does not have a very refined palette?
    At least they don’t make your wazz smell funny like Asparagus…

    bikebouy
    Free Member

    Hey hmmm..
    I have eaten them on many occasions yes. I spent some time in Bordeaux where they were served in bowls with garlic or mustard sauce, has to be said quite nice. So that was back in ooohhh 96/97’ish era and I’ve not touched them since, don’t know why, just haven’t. Then last night I walked through Borough Market and I spotted a couple of what looked like “ripe” ones, I collected them along with some other random salad selection and headed home. I then proceeded to admire the beasts, hearty looking fellas all proud standing and what looked like eager to blosom and then hacked the BBC Food website to see how to cook them… best recipe simply stated “cook in boiling water, make a mustard vinigarette, serve”
    I did, they were disgusting. Those mild happy French memories of sitting on the Girone sipping Pastis and gobbling artichokes evaporated quicker than Stans Spaff from one of my Z355 rims..

    The others in the bin, it’s taking up valuble space too so I may have to disguard it elsewhere, burying it is an option though I think it’ll grow back with a vengance and come looking for me in the middle of a cold night in early Jan2023… 😆

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