Brilliant.

Another frustrated dad here – my kids do occasionally go riding with me, but nowhere near as much as I imagined they would, or as much as it seems a lot of other people’s kids do. I suppose I don’t actually go riding all that much myself nowadays, so they don’t have me as the role model doing all that stuff, but I’m not sure that’s it – I do go rock climbing regularly, and whilst they do enjoy doing that it’s still a struggle to get them to do that with me. It was also a struggle even when I was doing a lot more – the one and only time I tried taking oldest riding on the Malverns he got fed up most of the way up the first climb (it got a lot easier and more fun shortly after) and I’ve never managed to persuade him again. Before anybody gets ideas that I’m trying to do stuff which is way too hard, as pointed out above I ride a unicycle so have spent time finding easier riding for myself and I’m sure he can ride anything I can ride on my unicycle (he gets around bits of the skills trail in the FoD I find really hard without any problem). Similarly the couple of times I’ve tried riding Verderers at FoD we’ve never got very far round – yet I see younger kids riding it, and there’s nothing wrong with the physical capabilities of mine. Maybe I should have tried pushing them harder, but apart from not being keen on that I suspect it would have been counter productive – oldest is very obstinate. I took them along to the kids sessions run by the local bike club, and some low key racing but whilst their skills are good, my oldest got fed up that other kids were quicker – it’s a vicious circle, he could be a lot quicker very easily if he did a bit more riding. Even more frustrating though is that my youngest is far less obstinate and I’m sure I could have got him out doing more, but he doesn’t want to because my oldest doesn’t (youngest is actually less bold and skills aren’t so good, but he would learn if he rode more).

I’m not sure what the point of all that is, apart from that kids are different and if you can get your kids to go out on proper rides with you then you should count yourself lucky (prompted by this I did just suggest to oldest he could come for a ride with me and got a very definitive no). I suppose I should be happy they are busy doing active things, even if not anything I do or anything with me.

I find passive aggressive behaviour fascinating.

I find passive aggressive behaviour fascinating.

Making a point whilst avoiding direct confrontation?

My view is, surely its a god thing the parents are doing something with their kids. Sure some questionable parenting going on, but better that then letting them sit to rot on their xbox in a bedroom.

For me, i dont push my kids. I get frustrated with my little boy (7 year old) at Rugby, football etc. because he just doesn’t listen. I never bollox him mind. If he decides one day he doesn’t want to do it, then thats fine. My daughter was the same. I spent a fortune on a boat, all the kit and we sailed together for a few a while (she is now 12) I asked her if she enjoyed it and she said she enjoyed the 1-2-1 time, but not the sport. So we stopped. I have a pimped up Carrera Luna in the garage, included Fox forks, super light bits, wheels and all. She never rides. But she is happy and i will support her with anything she decides to do. Not sure Im doing it the right way, but to me all i want is them to be happy. If that meant me shipping them around the country at weekends then that is what i would do…Luckily they dont!

aracer – Yeah, this is a problem that I have with my eldest. She’s a good cyclist and is easily fit enough to do the rides I ask of her, but she just doesn’t want to and would prefer to go shopping with mum! One of the things that has helped with her is riding in a club environment and even switching to a bit of road riding, as I think she finds the technical stuff both challenging and a little intimidating. In fact, she rarely uses her MTB at club coaching now.

One other thing that our club do is social road riding for kids – this introduces a very social element to the rides (frankly, my kids never stop talking when cycling!) as well as focusing on different aspects of cycling, especially the teamwork and group riding parts. This has worked well for my kids – maybe it’s an option for you?

Making a point whilst avoiding direct confrontation?

No, it’s a behaviour.

Well, yes.

No.

Er…

i think one of the things that get me interested in MTBing aged 12/13 was that it was mine – my parents weren’t involved, me and a mate could just go off into the hills and do our own thing for the day.

if they’d been there egging me on I think I would have lost interest, the contrary little sod that I was 😆

stuff this for a lark. I’m off home to shout at my kids for wearing their helmets incorrectly near a strangulation hazard.

Making a point whilst avoiding direct confrontation?

No, it’s a behaviour.

I was describing a way in which it can manifest itself. It seemed to be what you were doing, but maybe I misinterpreted your post.

i think one of the things that get me interested in MTBing aged 12/13 was that it was mine – my parents weren’t involved, me and a mate could just go off into the hills and do our own thing for the day.

Same here. Apart from all the times I needed a lift to a race, or some new wheels!

No, I think you got it spot on. 😀

stuff this for a lark. I’m off home to shout at my kids for wearing their helmets incorrectly near a strangulation hazard.

Is that you when they’ve refused to get ready for bed at the 8th time of asking? 🙂

P-Jay – Member
Sometimes, it’s so bloody frustrating that my Son at 9 didn’t love the same thing I found by accident at 28. I understand this is my fault, and partly his Mums.

He’s always had decent bikes, I’ve never been tempted to drop £1000 on one of those half-sized Commencals, although if he’d asked I might have.

Truthfully, to him riding has become a chore, 2 years ago he seemed to decide one day that he no longer wanted to run about mad as lorries with boundless energy, nope he wanted to sit in front of a screen on Minecraft and others such stuff – I did EXACTLY the same thing at his age, the little kid who loved riding with Dad didn’t want to go anymore, so I’d talk him into it, he’d moan, because he was going against his will and really it doesn’t matter if you take them to Disney World on free ice cream day, if they’re going against their will they will no enjoy it and nothing will change their mind.

A few weeks ago we took a trip down to Brechfa to ride the Green, it was late in the day and he, as usual, didn’t want to go – his Mum who’s always worried about him being active had tried to talk him into it and when that didn’t work blackmailed him into it, frankly I wasn’t keen, but I tried not to let it show – it’s about an hours drive, firstly he was pretty happy, but only because he thought we were going to Brecon to ride this little 600m long kiddie trail he rode when he was 5, then he remembered what Brechfa was actually like – the deal making started “can we ride up to the picnic tabled and come back down, something we did when he was about 8 – no, that’s a 15 min ride after an hours drive, he grumps, “how long is it” “8k” “how long??” “about an hour” grumps again, about 10 mins later the battery went on his phone and he looked ready to jump from the Van onto the M4 and end it all.

We arrived, he took an age to get ready because he really didn’t want to go – he was hoping for a storm to arrive or the earth to shift on is axis a bit and make it dark already, finally we got going, I was glad to notice he still enjoyed the descents, but not like I do, he’s glad to just be moving without having to pedal, he rides like an old lady, because he doesn’t want to ride any faster. He sort of got into it and was glad to see he could make climbs now, he couldn’t a few years ago, but he was glad to finish, well after he grumped that the end of the final descent fished downhill of where we parked and asked aloud to no one in particular why we couldn’t have just rolled down the fireroad instead.

As we got back to the Van I noticed his ‘new’ 24″ bike is getting a bit small for him, the local lads his age have already progressed to 26″ Small frames (and seem to only be interested in pulling massive wheelies in the middle of the road to annoy drivers). The saddest part of that is, it’s not actually that ‘new’ it’ll be 2 years old this Xmas, it looks new because I maintain it (he won’t) and in the last 2 years it’s only been ridden five times, maybe six. I paid extra for that one because it had cable discs, I told him when he wanted a bit more I’d fit my old Deore hydrualics to it – I gave them to a mate a while back, he never wanted them.

My Wife and I both hoped that one day, when he was bigger and stronger he’d join me at the weekends and we’d share a hobby, but it’s not going to happen – he’s just not into it, he’s had cool bikes, he’s rode Afan, Breacfa, BPW with the kids club, even the Alps on the green runs.

We’ve both quit it, his Mum doesn’t really get it yet, but he doesn’t like riding Mountain Bikes at the moment, and having to convince, blackmail and when that fails order him to do the very thing I love to do, and would do more of, if only I had the time is pretty soul destroying – I love the kid to bits, he loves we – why make each other so unhappy to try to make something work that doesn’t.

He’s 11 now, his love affair with computer games ended 3 weeks ago as suddenly as it started, now all he wants to do is go out with his mates, which causes it’s own problems, but I’m glad he does – he even takes his bike from time to time, his mates think it’s very cool – it’s got colour coordinated seat and grips! but he’s using it to ride from here to there, not up this and down that.

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Cor blimey was going to add my thoughts to this thread but the last page has got a bit wobbly tantrums, so I just want to say perchypanther I salute you, top parenting. In similar schtuck with bmx, but at least I still can ride a bike, even if the damn thing try’s to kill me each time I get on it…

perchypanther I salute you, top parenting.

Thanks but I fear your endorsement might be slightly undeserved.

I suspect it’s slightly messed up Victorian parenting masquerading as good parenting.

When I was a kid I didn’t get to do any sports or activities outside school because it was too much hassle for my parents. I don’t want that for my kids.

If my kids want to take up a sport or hobby we let them try it out a bit first and ,if they like it and want to carry on , we fully support them 100%……but in return we expect them to commit to it.
No missing training or whatever because they can’t be arsed. If they’re in they’re in. As long as they enjoy it and want to continue then we’ll do whatever we can to allow that. We don’t require them to excel, just to commit.
They can quit anytime they want but, if they do, it’s for good.

I coach football because I can’t reasonably expect my son to commit to it if I don’t too. What kind of example would that be?

When me an l’il j ride home from school, he insists on being Roman Bardet & I have to be Lillian Calmejane .
Roman wins every time. 🙂

Rushy ihad the same problem with rugby when my young fella was 6/7 wouldn’t listen and just used to sit down in the middle of the field picking daisies , as he got older we tried lots of different sports ,he loves climbing but I had a very bad lead fall so can’t do it with him now but he still goes down to the indoor wall , so now he knows his own mind hell cycle when he wants to climb when he wants to , the only thing he has to do is his jujitsu ,only time he misses that is when he has a shed load of homework

As a father I regarded it as my duty to teach my kids the basic survival skills, ie fitness, drownproofing, how and when to throw a punch, endurance, sailing, and to learn that discomfort is not illness.

They didn’t enjoy the physical bits, nor did I enjoy pushing them but now they are glad I did it and have found all of it useful.

When they were in their early teens they went from active kids to little fat slackers so I instituted an early morning exercise programme. 5 km run on beach, and 1km swim.

Now as adult men the bit they really hold against me is not the physical bit but my musical accompaniment during the swim session. (We were living on the beach in North Queensland).

After a 5 km run they had to swim out 500m from the beach as I accompanied them on my surfski. The first one there got the surfski to paddle back and I swam back. As they got close to the mark I would give them the Jaws theme tune which helped them pick up the pace. They hated that.

There were plenty sharks around but they weren’t really a problem. 🙂

In a tough school no one picked on them.

Incidentally their school work improved too.

They can quit anytime they want but, if they do, it’s for good.

Don’t agree with that one – my lad’s quit rugby this season (good reasons I feel, including MTBing) – but if he wanted to go back into it, he’d have my full support.

Biking was something me and my mates found ourselves , my dad took me to races and one year we went to the Malvern festival together in what is one of my fondest memories. He wasn’t into bikes really but took an interest in it because of me .
I have a 4 year old now and he is riding a pedal bike pretty well now but loves the tag along still , furthest he has ridden is 3 miles by me turning it into a haribo cup where every little bit was a race and the winner got a haribo , he won them all . He loves to watch Danny mac videos and if I’m honest I really hope he loves bikes as much as I do . I’ve seen dads and there sons at races I do and my dream is to have similar times with my boy .
But if he doesn’t end up liking bikes that’s ok , as long as he has something whatever it may be and I hope I take an interest in whatever it is .