I’ve just measured my waist (35) and hips (36), yet I can easily fit into jeans with a 31 inch waist.

Are my measurements wrong, or is there a giant, global, clothing size conspiracy to make us feel okay?

Yes.

Yes. No. Possibly. Don’t know.
I am, or was, a 32 waist 34 leg when it comes to jeans, (I seem to have lost some weight recently, possibly down to around 30/31 now), but that can change dramatically depending on make; Uniqlo’s Japanese selvedge denim are oversized in the waist, meaning I need a 34, but the leg is a perfect length.
Shoes can vary depending on the last as well.

Yes, all totally made up. Although I thought they only knocked 2″ off waist sizes.

This is the reason I don’t buy clothes off the internet, some stuff you try on and the shape is just bloody wierd. The big high St retailers can have some dodgy size labeling issues for trousers and shirts too

They have figured out that people are more likely to buy trouesrs that fit them that are a smaller size. Cue size inflation.

Wait until you try to predict what size Endura shorts you need… I fit into medium, large and extra large!!

Well I’m wearing 32″ trousers that I bought about 20 years ago and they still fit perfectly. And if I buy 32″ trousers now they also fit me.

Having said that I have Endura shorts in small, medium and large and they are all exactly the same.

They have figured out that people are more likely to buy trouesrs that fit them that are a smaller size.

‘waist’ measurements in clothes is a bit like an effective top tube measurement in bikes. Its been a long time since it was fashionable for trousers to actually go round your waist. So its an indication of size rather than an actual measurement of the waist band of the trousers.

but if you wear trousers with a quoted 32″ waist then (shoddy manufacturing aside) another pair of 32″ trousers should fit you no matter how high or low the ‘waist band’ is relative to your actual waist.

Some manufacturers are transitioning to actual measurements rather than effective / derived ones though – Snickers are in the process of doing that, and having bought their clothes for years I’ve now no idea what size fits me.