It’s my wife’s 40th next year and we have recently been talking about what present she’d like or how she’d like to celebrate/drown her sorrows.

Well tonight, for the first time ever, she commented on one of my bikes saying that it is very very nice indeed. It’s a bianchi 928 carbon road bike.

Would I be correct in thinking that she is after a carbon roadie for her birthday?

No she actually wants a mosaiced mirror in the shape of a seahorse.

Nope. She wants yours. You’d best be off shopping for a new one for yourself.

You’ll be lucky to find a female that speaks female.

Ask any bloke on here and it’s 100% guaranteed that any answer given will be wrong.

My interpretation is that she’s eyeing it up to get a feel for its value, with the intention of getting you to sell it off to raise capital for her present.
Sorry, Zulu.

pretty sure this means she wants to try dogging

Have you thought, and I appreciate that I am exposing myself to all kinds of abuse and ridicule by even suggesting this, of actually asking her?

I know, I know, it’s radical and probably wrong, but she must be a tolerant woman….

Crikey – I have asked her. She wont give me a straight answer – she never does. She is a bigger bloody troll than i am.

No she wants to dump you for a svelte roadie 8)

With a lycra bottom..

YAAAAASSSSSSSS!!!!!!

I’m stumped then, maybe ask her Mum if she’s dropped any hints? 🙂

I’m 100% convinced she has just told you the lower limit for what you need to spend on her.

I would think 2x the value of the bike might just do…

Have you thought, and I appreciate that I am exposing myself to all kinds of abuse and ridicule by even suggesting this, of actually asking her?

Crikey – have you “ever” actually spoken to a woman?

Do you really think men ever get straigh answers to questions like these? Its the basic “keep them guessing” psychology, and that everything is a test….

She’s not going to mention a specific present – the test is your imagination and how well you know her/listen to her. She’s not going to mention a cost – its a test of how much you love her. Too little – hell to pay, you dont value her. Too much, you must be guilty – hiding a secret? Been cheating?

Well, Mrs crikey is very straightforward.

I’ve had an affair and been forgiven, so she just tells me what she wants, and when she wants it and I go and get it gratefully.

The Yeti speaks the truth….

She wants the latest Dyson and a cordless drill. Fact.

MMmmmmm! Toughie…..

In my experience this usually means

1. I want a baby
2. I want to invade North Korea
3. Hot flushes…..

Not enough info. If your wife is 16 stone and hasn’t sat on a bike since she was 9 then maybe not………………

But I think that you’re being lined up with, ” As you don’t mind spending on lovely things YOU always wanted for YOU, and I didn’t bat an eyelid…………”

And then you’re gonna be hit with a crippler, like “I’ve always fancied a cabriolet………” 😕

But what do I know, don’t speak the language either!

Think she wants a washing machine… Well that’s what mine may get.

Seriously +2 for yeti suggestion, a present to the value of the bike. Holiday or something.

At long last… The Men’s ultimate Guide to what a woman really means when
she says something. Pay close attention (there might be a quiz later).

You want = You want
We need = I want
It’s your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.
Do what you want = You’ll pay for this later.
We need to talk = I need to complain
Sure… go ahead = I don’t want you to.
I’m not upset = Of course I’m upset, you moron!
You’re … so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.
You’re certainly attentive tonight. = Is sex all you ever think about?
I’m not emotional! And I’m not overreacting! = I’m on my period.
Be romantic, turn out the lights. = I have flabby thighs.
This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house. .I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper…..
I need wedding shoes = the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white.
Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!
I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep.
Do you love me? = I’m going to ask for something expensive.
How much do you love me? = I did something today you’re really not going to like.
I’ll be ready in a minute. = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.
Is my butt fat? = Tell me I’m beautiful.
You have to learn to communicate. = Just agree with me.
Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you’re dead.]
I’m sorry. = You’ll be sorry.
Do you like this recipe? = It’s easy to fix, so you’d better get used to it.
Was that the baby? = Why don’t you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.
I’m not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.
All we’re going to buy is a soap dish = It goes without saying that we’re stopping at the cosmetics department, the shoe department, I need to look at a few new pocket books, and OMIGOD those pink sheets would look great in the bedroom and did you bring your checkbook?

I predict this is gonna cost you at least £10,000

heh heh!

Another thing…

Congratulations on picking up on her hidden message. This would pass most men by, or it was very, VERY, blatant.

If I was a gambling man I’d say the latter… so I refer you back to my previous message which you should avoid at you peril.

Or…

You could conveniently combine her birthday gift with her Valentines present and buy her a Miele Cat & Dog vacuum cleaner.
I did this, I am single.

She wants it up the wrongun. Followed by a Nice set of park tools

She says:
“I’m not angry.”
She means:
“I am very, very angry.”

She says:
“I’m fat.”
She means
“Tell me cellulite is sexy.”

She says:
“Oh that’s fine, I’ll pay for dinner.”
She means:
“Wow, you really don’t want any action tonight, do you?”

She says:
“I can’t go out that night, I’m washing my hair.”
She means:
“I don’t want to go out with you.”

She says:
“Oh I don’t want a Valentine’s gift.”
She means
“Prove that you love me and get me that diamond heart pendant I’ve been talking about.”

She says:
“Sure I don’t mind if you watch the game.”
She means:
“I’m going to go shop and run up your credit card while you zone out to the tv. Toodles!”

She says:
“I’ll just have a salad for dinner.”
She means
“You order the burger and fries and I’ll have half.”

She says:
“Of course I don’t care if you go out without me”
She means:
“I’ll just be sitting here alone, cutting the seat out of all your pants.”

She Says:
“I like that, but I like your green shirt better.”
She means:
“I hate that and you should burn it.”

I guarantee that even if she is into cycling, and really would appreciate a bike, that SHE IS NOT asking you to get her a bike for her birthday… Or at least not only a bike anyway!

Even if you get her a bike, she will expect shoes, shopping trip, chocs and flowers in addition I can guarantee! It will be assumed that because you spent a lot on a bike for yourself that you should spend the same on one for her, just because!

So unless you’re very rich, start preparing for a few nights in the spare room/doghouse/on the sofa, as no matter what you do, it’s not going to be good enough!

😉

I think I may have made an expensive mistake by buying/building her a scandal with a mix of xt/x-9/juicy carbons, stans/ringle wheels and some thomson kit on it….

tbh Mine (after many years of disappointment…) has learnt to write out a list (URL’s are handy) – so for Christmas she got everything she asked for.

For her 40th we booked out a hotel/restaurant and had a serious shin-dig – of blinged-up carbon MTB proportions.

She’s worked out how much you spend on bikes.

This is gonna cost you lots…

Check her history on tinternet to see what she has been browsing for on the gift front you may get a few surprises.

sbz – we went through the same business recently. I got lots of hints. It was all “thinking out loud”. None of it meant too much.

What she got in the end she got some jewelery made (a copy of something she’d lost years back) which she found really sweet. But the big thing – was that she’d said she didnt want a party. BIG thing! Of course in woman speak that meant she did. She was real disappointed there wasnt a big fuss on the day.

So I had a frantic week getting everyone organised, venue, flights – nightmare. Of course everyone couldnt make it on the night so folk were turning up a month later. Cost a bleeding fortune!

On the other hand she did the sweetish thing ever on my 40th. Im still amazed.

Female is an ever-moving language, shifting like sand, as tangible as mist, as easy to reach as a rainbow.

She wants a road bike.

just ask her ffs

She wants a YOUR road bike.

Fixed it for you!

Does she not have her own money ?? Make her get a job and pay for it. So much for women’s liberation.

Hels – she’s the one that supports me through uni. I would be buying any present out of my savings.

flippinheckler – Member
Check her history on tinternet to see what she has been browsing for on the gift front you may get a few surprises.

Don’t you know we now have ‘in private’ browsing for looking for porn presents

Somewhere between the Yeti and duntstick is the truth, I reckon.

Because she loves you soooooo much and thinks you are soooo lovely, she has decided to forfeit her present and give you a present instead. Why not save her the hassle and buy your self the bike on her behalf?

No – she does actually want a road bike. Seems that building up that Scandal for her has given her the bug again. I am happy with this.