The problem is as you get older and take these more relaxing attitudes, some companies realise they can replace you with kids that are gullible, enthusiastic, and cheap. Trick then is to be bloody great at your job while not giving a crap at the same time.

Yep … and to have been at the place for sooooo long it’ll cost them a small fortune to make you redundant

Some people really enjoy work – by bro-in-law for example just can’t switch off. Even when he isn’t ‘working’ you can tell that he’s thinking about a contract, or a deal or how to do something that he’s been struggling with. He loves talking about work. Me – once I’m out of work, I generally forget about it.

I often think about deals and contracts when not at work, but all my career there isn;t really a gap between work/not work. So I also think about other interesting things when at work.

My work has always had an element of stress and pressure. I thrive under it – the less I have to do, the less productive I become.

But one thing I’m not is a workaholic.

My SO is a workaholic. As in: she’s addicted to her job and can never let it go. She’s exceptional at what she does, is highly driven and hates it all at the same time. Not a healthy place to be..!

My advice OP: get a more challenging job. You won;t have time to worry about being relaxed…!

My neighbour won the lottery, like well into 7 figures, spent loads on cars and a really ott house. Now 10 years later hes sold it all and regrets the whole experience, moved back into his old house.

I used to admire his car collection, he says everyone does as they dont have to pay the maintenance. Apparently he never got a bill below 2k for anything. He had about 10 supercars, i bet they appreciated as were q rare.

Yep, money just brings more expensive problems… My friend in Surrey who married into literally unimaginable wealth never stops moaning about things like his Endless Pool isn’t functioning properly, or his outdoor pool isn’t reaching temperature.

Apparently his house costs £40,000 a year just to heat – doesn’t matter how much money you have, that’s a helluva lot! Then you’ve got staff costs… I do feel sorry for him 😉

Spot on, this chaps house was so ott he reckoned his monthly maintenance cost was 30k, it was so hi tec he had teams of workmen to get it working. I ve seen inside it really was bad taste, his architect must have been having a laugh.

I’m lucky. After hating work for years I finally found a job that is actually interesting. I have work problems that I am interested in, and want to solve. So it’s not relaxing, as such, but it’s stimulating and satisfying.

This is not very helpful other than to point out that job happiness seems to be related to the having the right job.

I disagree I think this is a useful as Councilof10’s post. I have been merely looking at the job market and I find I’m very interested in what I see.

I agree with the above, mental work can be very dissatisfying – I still maintain that the best job I ever had was braising a gazillion brackets onto a gazillion arms making clothing wall hangers for superstores. You’d turn up, work, tea break, work, lunch break, work, tea break, finished get paid a wedge of cash at the end of the week every night go home tired by weirdly satisfied.

The best job I ever had was only for a week. Temp job through an agency gutting an old building. Literally getting paid to break everything. I went home every night feeling thoroughly relaxed, yet filthy and with aching muscles. That, or working as a habitat destroyer (gardener) for Kirklees council one summer. Proper days physical work outdoors.

listen to music. Whenever I have a task that doesn’t require any talking to or interacting with other people I slip on my headphones and put some mellow beats on. I enjoy mixes by british duo called technomatic. try this: https://soundcloud.com/technimatic/better-perspective-mix

Hoofing – thanks for sharing the link….!

Up until last June I was in a job that was becoming ever more stressful and it was making me ill and miserable.
Then I got kicked out, one of an ongoing stream, it seems, and had to find something else.
I now drive cars for the logistics wing of a national car auction company, and I’m loving it, I don’t get stressed by traffic, I get paid by the hour, for as long as I’m away from home, because I take a car home in the evening and deliver it next day.
I’m perfectly happy sitting in the car with the radio on, with the world passing by, and no politics and bullshit to have to deal with every day.
Oh, and I get to drive a wide variety of vehicles, from the mundane, like a builder’s Transit, up to high-end Mercs, BMW’s, even a Maserati!

My job has got a lot less stressfu, and a lot more relaxing, as I have become more and more experienced at it. Lacking confidence in ability is probably one of the biggest stressors of all.

Now I mostly enjoy it (sshh don’t tell the boss)

The rules are:

1) Things could be so much worse – even when it’s super stressful I remind myself I could be working for a big catalogue/sports company in a warehouse, on zero hours minimum wage, with a big commute to get there.
2) Everyone makes mistakes, even the best of folk, so forgive yourself and move on if you do.
3) Don’t let people (employees/employers/clients) get to you. Ultimately you are just there to do a job to the best of your ability and be civil to others. You don’t have to ‘get on like a house on fire’. You can rarely chose your colleagues so enjoy the time with the ones you do like and smile through meetings with the ones you don’t gel with. Most people are good people though, so remember that too.
4) Value others like you would like to be. So if someone does something for you, try and see the good in it first, and thank them for it, even if it isn’t perfect. Soothing other’s stress often reduces yours too.
5) Work doesn’t just have to be about the job, you can still be a good person whilst you are there, you can chose to change your perception to it.

🙂

I know a couple of people who have purposely put themselves into lines of work they love (writing & photography), and they seem to constantly bemoan how little money they make. One I am quite sure only survives because his wife works full time and his writing “career” is in reality an indulgent hobby.

I, OTOH, have ended up doing work that I seem to be OK at, while rarely enjoying it. But I don’t have any money worries.

Count your blessings, I guess.

@sundayjumper, yes I also know people like that.

House-husband would be my ideal career 😀

Having done a bit more research into this, I see that some researchers have concluded that part-time work is actually the key to happiness, using the example of the Dutch. But how they manage to get by on part-time salaries is beyond me.

My work is far from relaxing, but i make every effort to make my working environment comfortable and relaxing…

Shoes off, nice coffee, good snacks, great tunes, good usable IT and a bit of structure and planning. After 5 years, I have my own budgets, trust from higher-ups and respect from colleagues…even in spite of my shoes-off in the office policy.

Despite the demands and pressure, I don’t at all mind being in the office.

I try to encourage the same in my staff…wear what you like except when receiving/hosting guests, work the hours you want, take as long as you feel you need for lunch…these are your responsibilities, meet them. That’s it.

@sundayjumper, yes I also know people like that.

House-husband would be my ideal career

I think that as a species, we’re fundamentally lazy… Our brains have developed to become our most powerful asset and what we like to think of as efficiency, is just our inherent laziness.

Sure, I know there are people who are absolute dynamos who work a ridiculous amount and seem to have boundless energy, but they’re the exception rather than the norm, and I suspect they *need* to work in order to tire themselves out enough to sleep!

The above suggestion about part-time work is quite useful, but I’d go a step further and suggest that long-term ‘careers’ are the problem. Referring back to my earlier post, there’s that detachment that develops over time between the graft and the reward, and no matter how challenging and varied your job, there’s always a common theme that can make it mundane or routine.

The more experience you gain in a job, the less of a buzz you get from achieving a good result. When you try something different, you get a renewed sense of satisfaction.

So perhaps not defining yourself by a career and being open to completely different challenges and jobs might be the answer – although I appreciate, the financial rewards tend to be far smaller if you keep putting yourself to the bottom of the ladder!

Learn to say “no”.

In my experience a really good boss is vital otherwise it’s going to feel like a slog at some point.

Ah, but have you actually tried it ?

For years I was convinced my lethargy & general discontentment was due to having to go out to work, and I dreamt of the house husband lifestyle. Then in 2015 I was made redundant and became a house husband by default. After the initial novelty wore off I got bored quite quickly. It was just a different form of drudgery. And unpaid ! I had seven months off in total, and was actually quite glad to get back into a boring old normal job.

As a former colleague used to say: “The grass might be greener, but it’s just as hard to mow”.

Part time is the way to go if possible. I work every Mon/Tue for one job. Then I have another job which is zero hours. I’m offered shifts but I can take or leave them. So for the first 3 weeks in March I worked 5 days a week. This week I’m working 2 days then going away for a 4 day weekend. Later in the year I’m in the USA for 6 weeks.

I tend to work 30-35hrs over 4 days but interspersed with weeks where I only work 2 days

In a way the 2nd job doesn’t feel like work. I don’t need to do it. The work itself is stress free and lets me catch up on my reading. I’m a driver for the out of hours doctor service. So I drive 10-15 mins then read for 15-30mins whiole the doc does a call then repeat.

But – to get here I worked full time + overtime in a stressful (but enjoyable) job doing shifts for 30 years.

Best tip – you spend a lot of time a work – a job you enjoy is better than more cash.

Edit – I had an 8 month period not working. After a 3 month bike tour and catching up on anything round the house I found I preferred working some of the time to not working. No work – days run into each other. Work part time and days off feel like days off again.

So perhaps not defining yourself by a career and being open to completely different challenges and jobs might be the answer – although I appreciate, the financial rewards tend to be far smaller if you keep putting yourself to the bottom of the ladder!

I think this is good advice anyhow given what is happening to the job market and the ending of the job career as formally understood. I think however some people are just suited to the boring career – they are happy to compromise in exchange for a reliable, increasing income over time, and there will always be fields where you have to dedicate your whole working life – such as medicine, some academia, dentistry.

On the other hand, people can too readily take up the “portfolio career” and just end up not earning very much in increasingly competitive fields.

In order to succeed financially, I think you need to be in a field which is growing exponentially, and ultimately build an enterprise of some sort which you can exit at a later date, i.e. more a serial entrepreneur.

Or you can get by as a consultant but you need to constantly upskill and put a lot of effort into growing and harnessing your network.

I recommend masturbating arguing about Brexit Trump religion vaping on your break. Seriously.

FTFY

I took early retirement and found much the same. My current part-time job is only for April-October and I know I’ll treasure the days off more during that time than I do in the winter months 😉

So on reflection, the choice for me is: start my own business / startup in a growing area (which is the one I’m currently in) with an exit strategy so I can kick-back afterwards (I’ve done this before but the exit was a moderate amount which I spent on a year out travelling), or go part-time/freelance again through consultancy and ride my bike a lot more but have less money.

Either way I’m fairly sure I just don’t have the personality for a full-time career, I just know this about myself and it also came up when I saw a therapist, who basically said the same thing!

Have you ever spoken to a lottery winner? Or someone who has sold their business for a huge sum of money that meant they never had to work again?

Ah, but have you actually tried it ?

For years I was convinced my lethargy & general discontentment was due to having to go out to work, and I dreamt of the house husband lifestyle. Then in 2015 I was made redundant and became a house husband by default. After the initial novelty wore off I got bored quite quickly. It was just a different form of drudgery. And unpaid ! I had seven months off in total, and was actually quite glad to get back into a boring old normal job.

As a former colleague used to say: “The grass might be greener, but it’s just as hard to mow”.

My brother did the former – (sold a company) … and I did the latter…
Neither resulted in less stress …

However shit work looks I try and imagine how attractive it would be after spending 6 months not working and with no salary.

It always puts a different perspective…

Either way I’m fairly sure I just don’t have the personality for a full-time caree

I imagine a decent proprtion of the population feel the same.

I’ve been reflecting on this thread, particularly as my current role has come to a natural end. Which means find something else in the organisation, or take a cheque and find something elsewhere.

The challenge for me is getting my CV into the best possible shape for wider choices: I’ve got a fair idea what I’m good at, and what I rely on others to be experts in. I could go back to what I started out doing (lawyer) but not sure that’s the right answer: I’m keen to move forward, rather than back.

My maternal grandfather was someone who did a variety of jobs in his time. Money didn’t seem to be an issue, rather he was more interested in something interesting. I’m slightly different – money and status are important to me – but variety is key. And I think my boredom threshold is getting shorter.

I think working out that you’re not suited to a conventional career or full time work is a good thing. Learning how to harness that to your satisfaction is key. Don’t be disappointed!

Nice post @ourmaninthenorth, especially about trying to realise this is a positive discovery, not a guilt-ridden one.
I come from a culture and particularly family where work is everything (they called them the working class for a reason!). I remember my dad taking me into work with him as a 12 year old, where I did some oddjobs, and him telling me on the way home, “This is what the real world is like, school is just a bit of fun in the meantime. So you’d better get used to it.”
I remember thinking at the time, “Thanks for having me then, and introducing me to a world you fundamentally despise!”
My longer term hope is that with the rise of automation, things like basic income, people will be ultimately freed from Wage Slavery to pursue the things that ultimately interest them, whilst creating value through part-time work.
As discussed above, people who love their full-time jobs are either odd or just very lucky.

My job is stressful and hard work – and very tiring. However it also has its moments that are very rewarding and without that it would be soul destroying ( palliative care / complex care nurse). Relaxing it certainly isn’t.

I did do 10 years of bank work which had its advantages but became somewhat dull. during that time I worked an average of 8 shifts a month

I can’t wait to retire in 4 years and I know I will have plenty to fill my time up. I have 4 years worth of stuff to do planned out already

I am very happy with my work/life choices

I recommend:

Don’t work more than 3 days a week
Work for yourself as a consultant/freelancer if possible
Work for a charity

Certain adjustments are required for this to work:
Make adjustments to expectations – buy things second hand, fix things yourself, cook your own food etc
Don’t have children

I simply don’t understand the notion of work being relaxing. That’s what holidays are for (and I can’t not work on those either). I’m a live to work sort of person and I always feel that I can work longer and harder. It’s cost me at least a couple of relationships. It seems to be an unfortunate combination of having a competitive, addictive personality and the Protestant work ethic.
Fortunately, my work allows me to be largely independent and highly creative and I do enjoy it. But even if I was stacking shelves I’d be out there doing it faster and more neatly (are those the two main metrics?) than anybody else. Which is quite sad.

To me the balance of the time at work is wrong. A Lot so people suggesting part time but most couldn’t afford to do that and most services couldn’t operate as would be effectively halving the workforce to cover same hours.
If the working week was 3 days or the working day 4 hours I am sure the majority would be much happier.

If the working week was 3 days or the working day 4 hours I am sure the majority would be much happier.

Some jobs could be 4x10hr days rather than 5x8hr days. Lots of 3 day weekends and weeks with a random Tue/Wed/Thu for getting stuff done like doctor/dentist/car service/etc.

Why not? Most Mon-Fri jobs could have 1 5th of the staff off each day.

Think I’m getting closer to cracking it. End game is to do safety/environmental contract work part time. But think I’ve got at least another 4-5 years in the corporate grind. Interested in the work but the too much of it is listening to people whining or making excuses for doing shit they know they shouldn’t have or why they’re not going to do what they need to. Usually expending more effort than it would to just get whatever it is done. Not sure I can make it….