Surely gorgonzolaaargh too?
Any new jokes?
Or maybe fetaaargh, or even mozarellaaargh.
"Doctor, I keep thinking my cock is a rocket"
"how does you wife feel about this?"
"she's over the moon"
Guy walks into the £1 Cake Shop. Points to display cabinet and says to the girl behind the counter:
"Much are they?"
"£1", she replies.
"What about those?"
"They're £1 as well."
"£1 again. Look, mate. This is the £1 Cake Shop. Why do you think we have a big sign outside saying '£1 Cake Shop'"?
Guy ponders this for a bit and says, "OK, I'll have a slice of that there."
"That'll be £2 please."
"What?! I thought you said this was the £1 Cake Shop!"
"Aye, but that's Madeira Cake."
In bed last night and the missus reached under the covers and started playing with me. "Wow" she said "You feel huge tonight". "You're pulling my leg" I said.
"Talk to your pharmacist first" said the poster in my doctors' surgery.
So I went into Boots and began telling the woman about the strange odour coming off me cock. She slapped me, gathered up her kids and shopping and rushed out.
4 guys sitting around having drinks and one of the men had to use the restroom. The three others talked about their kids.
The first guy said, "my son is my pride and joy he started working at a company at the bottom. He studied business and began to climb the corporate ladder, became president of the company. Hes so rich he gave his best friend a top of the line mercedes for christmas.
The second guy said, "damn, thats terrific! my son is also the pride and joy. He started working for a big airline, went to flight school to become a pilot. He became a partner where he owns the majority of its assets. He is so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet as a christmas gift!
The third man said. "well thats terrific! my son studied in the best universities and became an engineer, started his own construction company and is now a multimillionaire. He also gave an expensive christmas gift to his best friend, a 30,000 square foot mansion! the 3 guys congratulate each other just as the 4th guy returned from the restroom and asked what are all the congratulations for?
One of the three guys said, "were talking about the pride we feel for the successes of our sons...
"What about your son?" they asked the 4th guy. the fourth man replied, " my son is gay and makes a living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub. The three friends said, " thats a shame...what a disappointment. The fourth man replied. " nah, im not ashamed hes my son and i love him..and he hasnt done too badly either. Just this christmas alone he received a beautiful 30,000 square foot mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the line mercedes from his 3 boyfriends.
or red leicestaaaargh...
Paddys lying up in bed watching Babestation. He phones the number at the bottom of the screen and the Babe says "Hello sexy and what can I do for you tonight?".
Paddy replies "Do you see that sofa you're lying on""Yes" she replies.
Paddy says "You wouldn't jump over the back of it and hide"
"Sure sexy. But why". She says.
Paddy replies "Well it's just the wife's coming up the stairs and I can't find the remote.
Pirates don't each cheese on its own, everyone knows their favorite food is Pizzzzaaarrrr!
You're right pirates would never eat cheese on its own. Always on a cream crackaaaargh.
Nigel Farage walks into this pub in Edinburgh...
i doubt any pirate would be too keen on fetaaaaargh cheese though...
"G'day mate, Foster's helpline...What's the problem cobber?"
"I'm in Darwin with my sheila and she's been stung on the minge by a wasp,
and now her pussy has completely closed up."
" Thanks mate, I hadn't thought of that, Bye."
Romantic films are known to ruin relationships as they give women unrealistic expectations about what to expect from men. Porn has the same effect on men.
Joseph Gordon-Levitt has written and directed a film about just that. Not a joke, just an interesting fact.
I have no jokes to share.
I once took the pee out of a pirate .... he was furious!
LOL @ stevied's one. Nicking that one for the weekend.
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