Viewing 26 posts - 1 through 26 (of 26 total)
  • Any long-distance relationships out there?
  • aelliott
    Free Member

    Been with the better half for almost 3 years. We met at uni, but have spent most of our time in different cities as she’s a newly qualified teacher and has to go where the jobs are. After months of stressing about jobs and where she would end up, she’s had to take a permanent job 2.5 hours away. I know its not that far in the grand scheme of things, but after a long time being apart we were both really hoping things would click and she’d find something nearby.

    Anybody else in a similar boat? Morale boosting all-worked-out-in-the-end stories get extra points!

    chewkw
    Free Member

    Just make sure your mind does not play game with you by constantly flashing images of her being boom boom by blokes … 😈

    2.5hr is not that far but watch out as you mind might be at it …

    piemonster
    Full Member

    I’ve been in a similar boat, although with a 7hr drive each way.

    I moved.

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    cuterunner
    Free Member

    Yes. My g/f is in Taiwan and I’m in this sh**hole of a country for another two months.

    No fun 🙁

    chewkw
    Free Member

    cuterunner – Member

    Yes. My g/f is in Taiwan and I’m in this sh**hole of a country for another two months.

    No fun

    Do they have a culture of boom booming around? The ones I know seem to be rather well behaved.

    cuterunner
    Free Member

    The Taiwanese are very ‘prim’. Mostly. There are exceptions, but Thailand it is not.

    JollyGreenGiant
    Free Member

    My girlfriend lives 2 and a bit hours away. We both have kids from previous relationships, and I work full time do we only get to meet up alternate weekends and holidays. It’s not easy, but regular chats go a long way.

    chewkw
    Free Member

    cuterunner – Member

    The Taiwanese are very ‘prim’. Mostly. There are exceptions, but Thailand it is not.

    The former is conservative in culture while the latter is easily convinced. 🙂

    woodlikesbeer
    Free Member

    The wife and I did 4 years between split between Croatia and here. My advice would be not to try and meet up every spare weekend you have. You will just be tired from travelling and not enjoy each others company. Instead meet up less often but for longer periods. I.e. use a couple of days leave on top and try and really maximise the time you spend together. In the mean time lots of Skype video calling.

    MoreCashThanDash
    Full Member

    A month after meeting MrsMoreCash, I moved 150 miles away. For 18 months it was a weekend only relationship.

    She then trumped that by moving 4,000 miles away for 12 months. Due to a couple of misunderstandings it was a bit of a non-relationship that year!

    On her return to the UK we managed to end up only 30 miles apart for 6 months, before she moved in with me on my 30th birthday. A year after that we upped sticks and relocated from Sussex to Derbyshire.

    Now 18 years since we met, been married 11 years, two kids, white picket fence, mortgage…. 🙄

    If it’s meant to be you still have to work at it, but sooner or later one of you will have to decide to change job and relocate to be together properly.

    xiphon
    Free Member

    mrs xiphon’s moving up to Dundee in March to start her PhD. It’s a 6hr drive….

    There are zero appropriate jobs in the area, so I’m [currently] staying put.

    cuterunner
    Free Member

    but sooner or later one of you will have to decide to change job and relocate to be together properly.

    Probably the only true words written on this forum by anyone. Ever.

    wiggles
    Free Member

    Me and my mrs lived 150miles apart, worked out the travel costs were about the same as rent so got a place for us to live together (she moved here I wasn’t leaving Wales for a flat part of England!) 2 kids and several years later we haven’t killed one another yet 🙂

    crikey
    Free Member

    Wife lives in Australia, I live here, bloody blissful*… 😉

    crikey
    Free Member

    * not actually true, but we do have an extra wide bed so I can get to sleep without being constantly pestered for cuddles*.

    crikey
    Free Member

    * I say cuddles, it’s more so I can wriggle about and not disturb Sleeping Beauty…

    McHamish
    Free Member

    At uni my girlfriend and I both did a year in industry, we were 2+ hours drive apart.

    We found it quite difficult, I would travel up every weekend and end up falling asleep all the time when we were together. We argued a lot and almost split up.

    We’re married now, but that year was a struggle.

    But I would definitely recommend not travelling to see her every weekend…you’ll end up resenting it.

    Earl
    Free Member

    crikey – brill 🙂

    midlifecrashes
    Full Member

    I was in a similar situation to you, aelliott. Met someone at uni, then year in industry came around for me, other side of the country, then together again for a year, then she went off to a year post grad somewhere else while I went off to find a job, other side of the country again. Then she went job hunting, got something only two hours away. After a year of this we bought a house together, near her job. All this in the days before email, mobile phones, facebook or skype. Then I got made redundant and headed down there and moved in to the house I’d bought a year before. Not even a landline in her mum’s house or in student houses so phone boxes at prearranged times etc. It’ll be 28 years together next week. Sunday nights were really really crap a lot of those first years, hang in there.

    sweaman2
    Free Member

    Spent 2.5 years living in Norway while mrs sweaman2 remained in London. At the time we weren’t married and had been together about a year before I got sent abroard. Came back, married and have now past 10 years together. Back then no skype and some of the time I was off shore so even limited phone calls.

    As above though in the end some one will need to make a sacrifice. Also less but more often is good advice.

    one_happy_hippy
    Free Member

    Im in Perth (Australia) and my GF is in the UK at Uni. We talk most days on FB messenger and sykpe now and again. I get back to the UK for a month in Dec / Jan and usually for a couple of weeks every three – four months or so. Seems to work for the time being. Though I was already in oz when we got together so we both knew the score.

    I often have a 7hr drive out of the desert to Port Hedland airport, 2hr flight to Perth and then 21hrs back to the UK… 2.5hrs means every weekend together.

    I’m probably going to be here for another couple of years while she finishes her degree and then we’ll take it from there. Unless she get the the year abroad she has applied for and goes to Vancouver in which case I’m moving to Canada. To be nearer Whistler Her.

    If you love each other you’ll make it work no matter how hard it is as it doesn’t have to be forever and a couple of years is a small amount of time in the grand scheme of things.

    one_happy_hippy
    Free Member

    Double post.

    stewartc
    Free Member

    Did 2 years of long distance before marrying, MrsC was in Hong Kong, me in the UK.
    It was difficult but we stuck together, now married for nearly 4 years and happily living in HK.
    Sometime these type of relations work, sometime they don’t, the important thing is you enjoy the moment, the future will look after itself.

    mikewsmith
    Free Member

    Me and the missus started out like that I was living in the lakes and working in Warrington when we met then she moved to Glasgow. I moved in with her after a year which meant we still only saw each other on weekends.

    Another year of that then we finally moved in and near work for both of us. Added in some more moves and me mostly working away a lot. Finally both moved out to Oz. She got here 3 months before me which was tough with a time difference. Now I’m away about once a month for work again.

    Communications is key as there will always be times when the other one is getting on with being sociable and trying not to be miserable while the other waits by the phone swearing at it.

    Also the point about travelling every waking moment – it just means you end up with no social life where you are living and adding to the accident stats. On the other hand turning up on a Wednesday night with flowers always works well…

    aelliott
    Free Member

    Cheers for the replies gang. Seriously impressed with those of you who have had different continent relationships…! We’ll get by, it’s been pretty much a weekend-only plus holidays relationship for a year or so now and we’re stronger than ever from it. We keep hatching grand plans for when we finally do move in together and really hoped it would be soon, but we’ll just have to keep waiting for now.

    Totally agree with the suggestions of not busting a gut to see each other every weekend. Every other weekend seems to strike the right balance between getting on with life and keeping the relationship going at the moment

    RoganJosh
    Free Member

    When the good outweighs the bad, and the smooth outweights the rough just reg it out, be worth it.

Viewing 26 posts - 1 through 26 (of 26 total)

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