have suffered with anger issues for years due partly to my depression (would like to add am not violent to anyone,it’s verbal/tantrum/act like a 5 year old 😳

anything can set it off,am really fed up of acting this way (plus i cannot afford another joypad atm/broke my 360 pad last night in a moment of tantrum/stupidity 😳

i know i should grow up e.t.c but at 39 and 5ft 5 1/4 i cannot anymore 😉

in all seriousness though would really appreciate any advice as to how i can control my outbursts as i don’t know what to do.

thanks 🙂

CBT I think it’s free on the nhs

You could try meditation (not all religious but stuff like mindfulness of breathing) to calm you down.

There’s quite a few books on Amazon that you may take a peek at, or order from your local library to check out.

My partner also suffers from depression/anger and I did get him a book on it but he said it made him angry so he threw it away 😕

CBT – it’ll deal with the root cause rather than the symptoms. CBT IME is one of the best things you can ever do with your life and everyone should give it a go.

Good luck, too many people lack the courage to deal with their problems and just spend their lives taking them out on the world around them… it take balls to deal with it

Reading anything by the Dalai Lama would be a good start. You could also pick up a book on NLP whilst you’re at the book shop – re-framing situations will help loads. Good luck you can do it!

thanks a lot everyone for your replies.i have done cbt in the past but didn’t think it was working.i will give it another go though.the meditation option also sounds a good option also (will look up a book on the subject).

you do get really fed up with acting this way,when it’s been going on for years.

There’s a plant I know of, it grows naturally all over the world, much like the potato, but unlike the potato for some reason it is illegal to own it or sell it. Get some that & put that in your pipe & smoke it. It changes music in awesome ways too.

raceface – do you currently have a bike? It does help but, if not, then just getting outside in the fresh air for a walk would help. Kicking a football is always good!

Are there any specific trigger events, or other factors? I know it sounds stupid but I can’t sit at a crowded table, or cope with loud music …. there are many other triggers for me… I am presently being assessed for aspergers.
It is of great assistance to me realising that there could be more to the story.

jekkyl will have to look that up 😆

cinnamon girl i hope you are well 🙂
i do have my duster still,alas i sold my tarmac road bike last year (to fund a guitar).i haven’t actually ridden offroad for about a year 🙁

i do plan on restarting though next week (as the weather forcast looks fab 😀 was just going to do a short trip to cherhill/avebury via roundway hill.i do miss it tbh.

am also crazily thinking of taking up running 😯 as i haven’t done any running since secondary school,it’ll be a very big undertaking for me (i did attempt to jog to my friend’s house about a mile away a few years ago,but ended up walking like john wayne for the next 3 days (my leg muscles just felt constantly like they were cramped up 🙁

will have to ask running experts how to start.

again thanks for all your help 😀

EDIT sorry eyepic just read your comment after posting.that’s a good point actually.i do know that there are reasons that i act like this.i do know some of them (nothing extreme,but have affected me).

will make another appointment to see councillor again.

know where your at.. for me its the simple silly things that make me explode uncontrollably the stuff that matters i can literally count to ten think of my kids and breath..
terribly self distrcutive once off on one and even though im fully aware of how i sound /appear cannot control myself.. good luck

There’s a plant I know of, it grows naturally all over the world, much like the potato, but unlike the potato for some reason it is illegal to own it or sell it. Get some that & put that in your pipe & smoke it. It changes music in awesome ways too.

Particularly poor advice for someone who suffers from depression.

When someone suggest aspergers to me I knew immediately that I didn’t have that…seen someone with it and I am nothing like them…. did a simple on line test and was stunned at my score. A good mate who is a consultant psychologist dismissed the idea out of hand.

After a deal of homework and thought got myself referred to a specialist in adult aspergers(not that many of them about) looking very much like I have it but over my 53 years have adapted and larglely learned to hide it.

It may well be that CBT isn’t right for you. There are plenty of other approaches to counselling/therapy and you may well find one that you can relate with and to. You’ll find that when you do find the right approach, with the right person that your understanding and acceptance will grow to provide what you’re looking for.

As a pointer, if CBT was not okay, try finding a counsellor who practises a Humanist approach. You might well have more success.

You have already found the will, need and desire to change your current thought processes and behaviours, you’re halfway there already dude! 😀

Go well 8)

Do you smoke dope? I used to get very twitchy which is why I stopped. Not twitchy when smoking the total opposite in fact.

CBT I think it’s free on the nhs

He said controlling his anger, not his moped.

I’d avoid Weed if you’re having anger management issues, and I say that as a keen supporter of both medical and recreational use of Mary-J.

How many stoned people have you ever seen start a fight?

I saw one guy say he’d start a fight tomorrow.

How many stoned people have you ever seen start a fight?

None, but I saw a good mate become a paranoid mess from ‘smoking’….

tbh have tried the “herbal” remedy in the past.it makes me ill unfortunately.

Put it through the pedal, you don’t need to lose that energy just channel it.

I have “tantrums” too, probably not the same level as some on this thread, so apologies if this seems simplistic/not appropriate, but I just seem to be able to rage at inanimate objects, never people tho, complete pacifist (or maybe should be coward). Dunno if its something I got from my mum, (genetic or learned) she can have a full on strop about burning tea but if a proper disaster happened she’d be dead level headed and keep her cool.

Anyway I find lack of physical exertion, cycling, running whatever, really puts me on edge and much more likely to tantrum, need to have some release other wise I get all tetchy. Couple of good rides or runs, if I don’t have a bike handy, a week is normally enough but the more the better, when you’re tired from doing fun stuff you’ve no energy left for crap stuff.

Do you smoke by any chance,might be the od one,social smoker,take it or leave it ect….?

@jekkyl
As Bill Hicks said, none because: “…it’s impossible!”

Buuuuut… I have found that it (for me and some others) works at the time, but afterwards can make you more touchy, and more short tempered, at least for a few hours. About the only time I am prone to temper is when I’ve hit the weed hard the days before.

YMMV

Normal smoking made me really moody and short tempered,since I quit a year ago my mrs has seen a big difference in the way I deal with things no matter how big or small the problem is I never get upset or have tantrums anymore,in the past I used to feel myself getting more aggressive until I would explode but since I’ve quit I can control my anger a lot better and nothing really bothers me,mrs Ricky even sais that iff I were any more laid back I would be sleeping.

gave up smoking/drinking in 2004.feel fortunate that i could as i really had to.

Been there with anxiety. Took boxing lessons. You can normally find a punch bag local to you on eBay for less than £20 which helped me. Make a list of triggers, and avoid things that make you ‘angry’ then slowly re-introduce them one by one. If you brain feels a bit foggy sometimes get some air and don’t think too much about stuff, just enjoy the freedom and don’t go home till your heads clear. If you make the effort to leave the house make it worthwhile.

Stuff like this can pass. Been there. Get it. Happy to help.

Smoking funny cigs is bad advice,

Family friend smoked a lot growing up…always had a huge block of it on his coffee table.

He was was seriously paranoid and **** up.

Was sectioned after trying to drive a digger through the wall of the local building society. After trying to escape a few times they took his clothes to prevent him leaving…ended up sat in a room naked.

He’s since given it up and is now married with 2 kids…pics I see of him are of a proud dad now.

Count to ten and walk away? Sounds simplistic, but it does often work. Combine it with asking yourself “in the grand scheme of things, does this really matter?”

My best mate, who I grew up with, and love like a brother, has had anger management issues his whole adult life. He’s a genuinely lovely bloke, but his shortening fuse over the years has frustrated not only me, but everyone who knows and cares about him. His ‘issues’ have been a big contributory factor in having 2 failed marriages behind him. And at times I just couldn’t deal with him. We’ve a habit, as best mates do, of telling each other some home truths they don’t want to hear. This has lead to, on occasion, some pretty highly charged/violent confrontations

His partner now (who’s the best thing that ever happened to him) ended up issuing him with an ultimatum: get some therapy to address the problem, or it’s game over.

So he reluctantly arranged to some, with zero enthusiasm, and grudgingly went along. He’s in the forces, and buys in to the whole testosterone fuelled mans man thing. This was about 14 months ago. It ended up, despite his initial scathing cynicism, he found it an absolute revaluation. To meet him now, he’s a different man. Completely!

He’s just so much calmer, happier and just a nicer human being. Unrecognisable from the sometimes barely contained rage from before, that worried, frustrated and just infuriated us before

If you ask him about it, he’s just gushing about the difference it’s made to him, his family, and pretty much everyone he loves

If it’s a problem to you, then I’d park any reservations and try the therapy route

I am in the early stages of therapy for my errrrrm ‘issues’ and although im not feeling Any benefit as yet i am going to stick with it with my fingers crossed, i used to deal with these problems with lots of fight training (which seemed to have a calming effect) but also made my problem a more dangerous one (if you see what i mean) anyways, due to many physical problems i had to stop all fight training and the following years has become a bluddy mental nightmare that was getting worse year on year hence me seeking help (not as easy as it sounds either)
P.s i try to stay away from anything that usually flares my frustration.
Best o luck

I was always angry.Again never against anybody. Threw a 2 week mac old mac book pro against a wall hard. Smashed to bits.
I was like a firework which would explode at the stupidest thing.
I went (was forced by family) to go to the doctor.
I was initially diagnosed for depression and given CBT which did nothing.
I was given happy pills (SSSRI’s) which sent me completely batshit crazy.
Ended up in a psychiatric unit in Vienna (Otto Wagner Siptal) where they diagnosed my Bipolar.
Since then things are getting a little better.
I’m currently back in the uk. The health boards don’t give a shit about patients in the psychiatric units I’ve been involved with (Berkshire and North Wales (Betsi Cadwalader – arsheoles)). The staff in the uk hospitals have been excellent but cutbacks, waiting lists and stupid cost cutting exercises make it bloody hard when you suffer anger issues. In the last 3 years I must have had around 8 locum doctors who really don’t give a shit as they won’t see you again.
Good Luck.