I lost my job (redundancy) in July, my fiancee and i split last November so it's been a somewhat cr@ppy year so far.

Thing is, my good mate has just had a baby girl and obviously he is happy as a lark. I haven't seen the baby yet – and i don't want to.
This is pathetic, the idea of seeing her hurts a lot because in my twisted little mind i'm jealous of the family life he has now.
He's the same age as me (42) and i think i'm jealous of all the things that appear to have passed me by.

Is this natural or is there something wrong with me? 🙁

No matter how you feel about the baby right now, you can bet she is the most important thing in his life and will demand more and more of his time. Go see the family and do the 'caring friend' bit else you run the risk of losing him as a friend too and that would only make things worse.

I hope things get better for you, whatever path you choose.

Oh i'm going to see the little one tomorrow – i'll just grit my teeth and hope i don't crack up til i get back home 🙁
Owt else is ignorant, it's not his fault i'm a basket case.

FWIW All my friends now have kids and little families (well, ok, most of them) but I simply can't engage with the sprogs at all and get tired of the fact that they only talk about football and the children, neither of which interest me anyway. I feel aweful for being the only friend that really doesnt "get" the whole kid thing and so rarely visits (on top of having moved 200 miles from them all recently too) but they're still good enough mates not to think I'm being unpleasant. We still meet a the pub when we can. I wouldn't blame you for staying away either.

I'm assuming from your pseudonym you're quite short….

That'll be the problem.

My one time best mate hasn't spoken to me since I had a daughter 5 months ago. He has admitted that he's jealous of my life in the past (married with a kid and an ok job – great!). It's upset me quite a bit.

Thing is I worked damn hard to get out of a bit of a hole. I went to uni, met a lady who I married, did a phd and got a job, then had a child. During that whole time I was very envious of his carefree lifestyle, what with all the pubs, bikes and gigs etc.

Get over yourself and sort it out before it's too late.

I think it's time to speak to the doc again. Was on anti-depressants earlier this yr, think i came off them too early.

I'll never tell him how i feel, it's not his fault and he wants to be as happy as he can be right now not worrying about my feelings (which are suspect to say the least)

Samuri – how perceptive of you 🙄

Sounds a totally natural reaction as you've been having a tough time. Concentrate on doing things you really enjoy, once you start feeling more positive the jealous feelings will start to reduce.

Could you arrange to go round for the first time after you've been out biking? You'll be high on endorphins and if your mood starts to go down it would be easy to make the excuse that you need to go home to shower, wash the bike etc

Naah, he's not angry enough!

MD Try and look at the things you have achieved in your life, its a bit of a cliche, but lifes too short for regrets. Either that or do something about them before it is too late.
If Des O'Connor can sling one up his misses at 70 odd then there's hope yet.

That's a good idea – i'm out on a night ride tonight anyway…

Im the only one of my friends that has had kids and only one other is married. The only friends that make any kind of effort to see us are the other one thats married and the one that lives over 200 miles away and cant drive!

MTFU and get over it I know you want to feel sorry for yourself but he is happy so be happy for him. You will never get yourself out of this hole unless you stop wallowing in your own self pity.

I lost my riding buddies to the marriage/first baby trap in the last 2 years. Depressing to start with riding on my own etc…but got over it and quite enjoy it now, bought a decent mp3 player to keep me going.

I see them very occassionally, it's sad, but I understand that people's priorities change and unfortunately that means mates get left behind somewhat.

We still try to meet up every 3 – 4 months or so. I'm hoping things will get better when the little ones are toddlers (probably time for the second then…)

/You should try to be happy for them. Even if it means you sacrifice your buddies.

talk to your mate. thats what mates are for.

for all you know his missus might know some eligable females to hook you up with.

you need to sort yourself out rather than going for a quick pill fix.

OP are you drinking more frequently at the moment?

Whilst I'm intensely proud of my kids, I wouldn't begrudge anyone else or envy them having children – it's a huge amount of effort bringing them up, even if made willingly

Cheers SFB- Ive got one of the little fellas due to pop out early next year 🙁

Hora – i'm regulating the alcohol intake to a bottle of wine on friday nights. Another mate is having problems with acohol at the moment and i've seen the damage it's done to him.

I do have a partner actually, we don't live together though. Only been seeing her 8 months & i'm still wary about having another woman move into my house.

I'm just a fekkin' basket case really.