My mum, her husband and my sister and her husband are coming over on the 27th and that's all fine. I can have a drink which is probably the first time for about ten years I've been able to drink at a family do on my side so I'm quite looking forward to being able to relax.
What the real problem is boxing day. My wife's friend is coming over and again, no problem there, she's nice enough. No, the problem is her racist, homophobic, lazy, cyclist hating husband. He's a grade A cock! They used to live opposite us so we'd see quite a lot of them so he'd be hard put not notice that I ride a bike all the time.
Interesting then, when I'm helping him move house, for free, (and trust me, I shifted about 3 times more stuff than he did), he starts slagging cyclists off as we're driving down the road. All the same old tired rubbish that has no basis at all about road tax, insurance, using energy!!, holding up people in removal lorries. All that complete bolox. And I stay calm and explain the turth about each of the points but he just carries on regardless.
And he talks and talks and talks about crap all the time. It takes him about twenty minutes to tell every anecdote about his dull and uneventful life and we're all expected to listen there awe-struck before laughing at the vaguely trivial humour at the end.
Oh, he doesn't like anything that's not British too. Apart from Japanese cars which are apparently ace. But everything else that isn't British, is rubbish, because it's made by foreigners, and they're all a waste of space. Oh Apple computers too.
YOU COULDN'T EVEN HOLD DOWN A JOB DRIVING A VAN AROUND THE PLACE BECAUSE YOU'RE SO FRICKING LAZY YOU TRIED SNEAKING OUT OF WORKING ALL THE TIME!! What's that? You got sacked? Why? Oh, yet another accident? Blimey, how many is that? 6? or 7? Maybe, just maybe you're not god's gift to driving that you think you are. Oh, it was all everyone elses fault was it? Probably foreigners was it? yes.
I know his brother who does building work for us when we need it and he's the total opposite. Really nice guy, industrious, tolerant... a genuinally nice bloke. It's like twins, and we've got Danny Devito coming to dinner!
Last time we met him and his wife, was under duress at a pub lunch. Near the end of the meal, he said he was feeling sick and so rushed out. After ten minutes or so his wife went looking for him and came back saying they had to go home because he was ill.... LEAVING ME WITH THE BILL!!!!
You did say vent your frustrations....