I'm going to invent a device which denies me access to my bike tools when I've got a bit of a "Red Mist" on.

AngerLock™ will prevent me from:

a) Pestering my mates to fix the bits i've broken.
b) Breaking off more bits and having to spend a load of cash at CRC or Cooksons.

I will also be desiging an automatic braking system called KnowYourLimits™ that will prevent me from falling down holes and some make up to cover over cut knees called NoDearIHaventFallenOff™.

I need to get a brethalyser fitted to my toolbox.

Looks a bit like this…

A couple of Hop Pops + a bit of a fettle = Invoice from LBS

For the later I suggest you have a look on the:
" Ishalllearntoridefirstand mtfusecond" website very good one 😉

Quite fancy one of these though 🙂

http://www.hit-air.de/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=19&Itemid=24

NoDearIHaventFallenOff™

That sounds like a good idea to me – was watching Nomads on RushHD lastnight and some of the gaps/drop offs they were doing and trying to justify it as a reason why I needed a new bike until a guy destroyed his rear wheel

Cheers Juan 😆

I don't fall off very often, but when I do I get very annoyed with myself and do further stupid things. Perhaps I should lock myself in the shed rather than the bike.

Perhaps I should lock myself in the shed rather than the bike.

Tell your wife to order one of these:
"Straphubbytothefridgeandmakehimbegformercistraponandbondagestrapkit".

I am happy to help

Quite fancy one of these though

That looks pretty good, just be a bit embarrasing if you forget to unplug it when you get off your bike.

I am happy to help

😯

Not while I have my strength you won't.

LOL @ harry