Hive mind of STW, help!
84 year old father in law has Alzheimer's and was recently called in for a driving assessment. They said he was unsafe but *may* be OK if he took additional lessons and another assessment successfully. After much arguing with his approval we moved his car onto our drive so he wouldn't wander off. He was told at the drivability place that he shouldn't drive until this is done.
He's already forgotten what they told him and now thinks that after one lesson (which took his daughter ages arguing with him to get him to do) he's fine to drive and is getting verbal and shouting down the phone etc. demanding his car back as he has forgotten why it was put there in the first place. He ignores all discussion about how he shouldn't drive until he has a successful assessment (he argues that he still has a license) and that his insurance would most probably be invalid if the insurers found out he was advised not to drive (he argues that he doesn't care as others drive without insurance).
To be honest he *is* unsafe and no-one wants to get in the car with him (I refuse). He was caught turning into major roads without looking (on his assessment) and keeps forgetting the local roads he has driven around for over 50 years. His driving is erratic (last time I was in the car with him it was very jerky repositioning as we were driving along). If he wants to kill himself in his car, fine, that's his issue, but I'm worried about other people getting hurt.
Obviously the car is his property and to be honest he's such a bully I don't mind standing up to him but I am worried about the legal position of his family. No-one can get through to him and in his bullying manner it's the usual "I'm right, everyone else is wrong!".
Is he legally allowed to drive? If not how do we get this through to him?
Do I give him back the car as it belongs to him (I'm the only one that has insurance to cover a third person's car and hence drive it back)? If he then hurts someone then what?
Do local bobbies still have 'words'? Is there a policeman/woman here who would know what I should do?
Any ideas apart from just avoiding the phone?
And the drivability place was rubbish. They gave him the info verbally so he forgot everything about ten minutes after being there. His wife/my husband were there and had to remember stuff. Should have been written down (still awaiting report but the Christmas break meant no letters yet).