Just had to share this weeks 'Ride Report' (Bath Weds night email list):-)
The adventurous 5 - Randy, Roly, Steve, Tony, John, Kevin and Moi thats 8.. headed out to Justins corner via Andy's curb - wooooooooooe that curbs extreme - we made the curb and shot flames down to Justins corner... The corner told me in a whisper - "I'm waiting for the one they call Justin - I own him".. !
I shrugged thinking maybe Roly had just passed wind... and carried on.. We went up the road dodging mega lorries from the film Duel... We survived...! Then it was... No **** idea! but my next memory after
being abducted and probed by sex god aliens was going through the
muddy swamp bike engulfer...
After Tony threw in his magic anti-swamp potion it was a breeze, although cus Roly was is a lezza he still gayed it and almost ended up in the sh~t...
The next part after much more stinking muck was the river of a 1000 horizons.. We set about building rafts and coracles and a few more ambitious out of us- arks with special all female breeding programs to cross this mighty expanse, but Roly having shouldered the "i'm a lezza" for too long decided to try and break free from the "i'm a lezza spell " and cast in return the special Mosses spell ... the water s parted briefly and he passed through unscathed and came out cleaner than he ever has been....... As we watched in awe and salmon in their hundreds broke the bow wave in slow motion - black bears came to the river to feed and the dolphins surfed onwards in the luminescence.... We found a bridge and gave up on the rafts... It was a shame as I had managed to tie 20'000 toads together (yes I had named them all), which would have been a winner...
There were a few minor mountains (One made Roly his bitch!) and some more magic mud and then we came to middle South Stoke where by some miracle the longer you spend in there the more pretty the bar maid gets.... John in true rodeo style rode the pubs dog round the pub shouting wooooooooa what a bitch...,, ROly tried to sniff his own ass and the rest of us tried to keep a low profile.. I was defiled by Roly buying me a half pint
and taking my order seriously....
As we stepped out the pub,, The sun had come out and the all female naked beach volley ball team were warming up rubbing sun tan lotion into each other, unfortunately as we all had homes to go to and jobs to do we left them to it...... Well I went back and joined as a coach... and that was a wrap....
yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrp
Tav
Sponsored by Broad Oak Perry.... wow that sh#t rocks my world
