Bit of a rant:

I was trying to sell a microwave via a local “buy sell and give-away” Facebook group for my village. We’ve sold other stuff quite successfully but this didn’t go well:

5th of April

Listed it with nice clear ad with photos, explaining it was 800 watt, in original box with instructions. A bargain at just £10. I got a bite within a couple of hours:

J: Can I have this please

Me: Yup. It’s yours. I’ll PM you with the address.

Pretty much the standard protocol on that group. I PM her straight away saying:

Me: Hi J, we are at [our street address]. I’m off for the Easter holidays at the moment so you are welcome to pick up daytime or evening this week. Just let us know.

*no reply*

6th of April

Thinking she can’t work Facebook Messenger I contact her publicly again:

Me: Hi J, did you get the PM? (It might have gone into “Others” or “Requests”)

J: Ok

*then nothing*

7th of April

On Messenger:

J: What’s address please When are you in

😯

So I just copied and pasted the first message.

J: Ok thanks [village]?

Bear in mind its a group specifically for that village and the ad was geo-tagged for that village.

Me: Yes sorry [village]. [postcode]

*no reply* 😐

8th of April

Me: Hi J, are you still interested in the microwave? No problem if you’ve changed your mind.

J: Yes

*no reply* 😕

10th of April

J: Next week?
J: what is the wattage of microwave please

Me: Yeah any evening next week is fine: between 6pm and 8pm. Or Friday daytime. Just let us know.
It’s 800 watt.

*no reply* 😡

19th of April (Today)

Me: Hi J, do you still want this microwave? It’s no problem if you don’t – but it has been two weeks now and I have had to turn down other offers, so if you can’t set a definite collection this week then I’m afraid I’ll have to let it go to someone else. You can pick up any evening this week or Friday day time. Please let me know.

J: No sorry

A tenner ? 😆

Too much? It’s in good nick.

I’m on a couple of groups and I must admit I flout the dibs rules a bit. I make it pretty clear if I want something I’m only round the corner and can pop round now or as soon as they like. When selling I’ll wait on the first response that seems keen rather than saving it for first responder. Can’t be dealing with the time wasters. Had a few where people reply “I think I want this/my friend might want this. Can you hold it for me?”. I’m posting because I want it gone!

I have had similar selling on eBay..
It has made me realise how many people have no clue what they want and don’t realise that the seller may have other things to do with their time.

I think these people need a flow chart to guide them through this sort of transaction.
It would save lots of people a lot of time..

Selling a car is the worst. Loads of interest from people who don’t want it. AND part time ‘home based’ dealers expecting it for nothing.

Yeah it’s a small village. Most transactions tend go more like this:

Can I have this?
Yes.
Okay I’ll be round in ten minutes.

😀

But we do seem to attract the occasional nutter.
Recently a friend was giving away a kids Vtech laptop for free. Her “buyer” said she didn’t have a car so could it be delivered – to a village ten miles away. 😕

I’ll have it.

But can you clarify the wattage for me?

Go postal with a kalashnikov, walking through the village, shooting people indiscriminately, then go on the run into the mountains. Chances are you’ll get ’em. And if not you might at least get Gazza to bring you a KFC

If you rub your penis on it, I’ll give you £15.

(Just video it. I already have a microwave.)

But can you clarify the wattage for me?

When she asked that I was soooooo tempted to tell her: “its still 800 watts”

Go postal with a kalashnikov, walking through the village, shooting people indiscriminately

Nah she’s clearly an outsider from the big toon.

If you rub your penis on it, I’ll give you £15.

Hmmm.. okay – but only on the Defrost setting.

Must get an upgrade to defrost on my penis. Or is that a willy wave?

Remember to wrap it in foil first – helps protect it.

I’m still using a 4.2″ CRT penis. No point in upgrading yet, it still works fine.

That’s MASSIVE!

My missus is so glad we upgraded to a widescreen.

Is it still available ?

What wattage is it ?

( questions for the OP only!)

I was hoping for a classified rant Realman stylee 🙁

Sitting here waiting for the person who was definitely coming to see my car at 7pm tonight – nowt, nada, absolutely nothing to say they aren’t coming or are coming late. ****s

My missus is so glad we upgraded to a widescreen.

Curved is where it’s at. Just ask the ladies 😉

The OP is describing what happens to me every time I use Gumtree. Get all excited thinking I’ve sold something and start having visions of bike bling and then no response from the initial query. I’m starting to think it’s one person, slowly building an accurate picture of the contents of my house. I’ll come home one day and will have been robbed of all the stuff I’ve listed!

Yep…. I’ve been trying to give away a greenhouse on Spock and Gumtree for 3 months now. Fourteen people now saying they definitely want it. All pics and dimensions are online along with rough location.

They’re so keen! So far the number of people actually turned up… zero. I’m keeping it online now as a sort of social experiment.

Me: Hi J, we are at [our street address]. I’m off for the Easter holidays at the moment so you are welcome to pick up daytime or evening this week. Just let us know.
*no reply*

There’s your problem. You want to write your actual address there instead of just ‘our street address’.
She probably couldn’t find you.

Is it still available ?
What wattage is it ?

Yes. Probably only about 765 watt now that it has a thin patina of smegma on it.

Who cares, it’s a tenner microwave. Put it in the bin!

It’s so much more than just a microwave now.

Sitting here waiting for the person who was definitely coming to see my car at 7pm tonight – nowt, nada, absolutely nothing to say they aren’t coming or are coming late. ****s

Dude, they can’t nick it while you’re standing there ! 🙄

GrahamS – readvertise as a SMEG microwave, for 20 quid and I bet she’ll have it in a flash

Can I have 80 watts for a quid ?

Where are you.. Can you deliver.

Is it sold?

Who cares, it’s a tenner microwave. Put it in the bin!

That’s exactly what I’m trying to avoid.

I don’t really care about the money, a tenner isn’t going to make much odds is it? But it’s a decent 800 watt Kenwood microwave, basically as new with the box and manual.

I have enough moral trouble binning things that are broken, never mind things in perfect nick that someone could use.

Oh, Kenwood is it?

How the other half live… 🙂

can i have 2 of them for 15?

or how about a swap for 34 pictures ( black and white ) of me masturbating in to newhaven harbour in an album? ( will not separate, i’ve tried ).

How the other half live…

I know I try to forget my life before I got my Miele appliances, it was just so unfulfilled.

How much does it weigh?

If Miele is where life’s fulfilment lies – I pity that life.

Can I reproof my goretex in it?

Ha.. maybe youve just been had….

http://dontevenreply.com/

**Warning (You will now waste the next hour reading some of the email exchanges on this site)

If Miele is where life’s fulfilment lies – I pity that life.

Says a man who obviously doesn’t have Miele appliances, once you have experienced the one true way that is Miele, there is no going back.

More pity needed.

Del,
Do you have any other locations?
I have a Miele that I would gladly swap for a series of seagulling shots from tall buildings or possibly goat bukkake if it’s classy

Leave it on the street in a council estate. It’ll find a new home of its own

Del,
Do you have any other locations?
I have a Miele that I would gladly swap for a series of seagulling shots from tall buildings or possibly goat bukkake if it’s classy

Filthy! What sort of a girl do you take me for!?