It’s like waiting for the highlights show in the evening…

I predict the outcome will have far less drama that we’re all hoping for.

Hope GCN don’t spoil the result like they kept doing with the Giro.

I want to get it from the horse’s mouth.

Ideally lunge will be online to give us the outcome as I’m sat watching the Giro highlights later.

Just checking in – no news yet ?

Hope there’s been no bog-break shenanigans

I’m not this excited when i’m waiting for a parcel from CRC or the highlights package for the TdF. This thread has lightened my mood in a shite week, and thanks to Lunge for taking the banter in the right way.

Maybe this is where Lunge learns that his boss has gone and juiced up…

Teamslug: yep, nothing like a bit of light relief to take your mind off all the sh*te.

Warm day for a ride – maybe hydration will play a part?

Hmm, 15 mins late, could it be that lunge is not be the super domestique he professes to be?

Lunges office, earlier…

I hope the OP goes/went out in t-shirt, baggys and flats on a klunker and just keeps/kept pace with them like there’s nowt the matter 😆

edit- maybe a cheeky wheelie uphill and a smashing manual down?

Give him time, it’s a lovely evening and they’ve just been cycling for 3 hours. Where do you reckon they now are??

Discussing how they probably should start riding and that meeting in a pub beer garden was an ill informed choice?

Just realised that my boss and I, well some one who is my direct superior, are training for the same triathlon. He will slaughter me so no of the OPs dilemmas for me

Looks like Lunge isn’t back yet. I wonder if his boss is back?

I wondered if theyve a big fake plan, have been watching stw and sold Lunge a dummy. They are currently helping him recover from bonking, whilst simutaneously planning an important part in a particulalry challenging work project for lunge next week.

Lunge has clearly had to accompany them to A&E.

Or maybe the pub.

We need the update now…..

My monies on: op rinsed the CEO.
CEO took it in good humour on the surface, but casualy dropped in to conversion the OP’s probationary period isn’t up yet. 😀

Don’t panic all, I’m back, had to go home via the pub, seemed rude not to.

So, that was, well, a bit awkward. No way of writing this up without sounding like I’m bigging myself up, I’m not but know it could well come across that way.
Basically, it was even worse than I feared. It became apparent within 2 reasonably flat miles that there was no fun to be had, they were struggling to hold 12mph at 2nd wheel on the flat.
First hill of any note we had to stop for 10 mins for them to recover, we did under 10 miles in the first hour.
The route had 3 reasonable hill in it, I removed 1 immediately, then another after an hour when it became apparent we’d be out all night.
On the one good hill we did do I was pulling away so easily there was simply no fun and games to be had. I ended up using the hill as torque training and seeing if I could do it in the big ring at about 40rpm. Fun.
Average pace for all 30 miles was just over 12mph.
Thankfully already and a text off them both thanking me for planning the route and saying we should do it again next week. I’m not sure I’m keen as it’s the kind of day I’d have liked to have gone for a proper ride and ended up having a slightly frustrating pootle. Now need to think of a reason to say no!

So I guess it was point provided in some ways but the sport was poor. Early signs suggest I still have a job on Monday too so that’s good I guess.

Thanks all for the interest, apologies for the slightly anticlimactic conclusion.

Cargo bike and flip flops next week then?

Cargo bike and flip flops next week then

And a tow rope?

Company e bikes?

Now need to think of a reason to say no!

Not if you want to stay there, if they want to ride with you it’s a complement, if you reject them it’s an insult

Do the math

Average pace for all 30 miles was just over 12mph.

That’s bad, even I (at 60 & 3 stone extra flab) can do 15.

Can I tag along next time? 😀

Cargo bike and flip flops next week then?

Fat bike*, surely?

(Today’s best comment, shouted from the opposite side of the road at traffic lights: “I ride a road bike, but I would never dream of riding *THAT* on the road”)

Christ, 12mph on the flat? Lol!
You should have taken a BMX bike!
I can average 14 on a mountain bike on a tow path, and i drink much more ale a week than the recommended amount, and i like my pies.

I wouldn’t say I was super fit at all. That’s just embarrassing on a road bike on tarmac.

If they are still game, tactfully give them some pointers, were they just trying to grind to high a gear constantly or something? You could use this to your advantage if you play it right.

Think of it less as a frustrating ride and more passing your knowledge on and an opportunity to stay held in good esteem at work.

Massively disappointed at this. I even bloody told my wife about this thread as having the potential for comedy gold and now I look like a ****t 😆

Spec Roubaix, Dura-Ace Di2 and discs by the looks of it, looks like a proper bit of kit to be fair. Rapha kit, Spec helmet.

they were struggling to hold 12mph at 2nd wheel on the flat.

😥

halfway thought they’d been sandbagging 😆

feeling a bit sorry for them, to be honest. I genuinely didn’t think ATGNI riders really existed.
Surely if they’ve ridden a bit (well, a sportive last weekend) they’d be aware of their limitations- Lunge, you don’t have a wooden leg, or a guide dog or something that might have had them thinking the ride might have been a match of equals, do you????

So they really were trying on the sportive that you all entered. Thats a poor effort 12mph , 2nd wheel is shocking . Thats not even social group speed over 30 milers the socials do on a sunday morning.

Dont know what to suggest for the future . Down south it was a glorious day for a road ride, hot, but not too hot. Nice cooling breeze, and with the apparent wind would have prefect riding conditions. Maybe smash yourself on a Thursay evening then use it as a recovery ride to spin the legs over ?

Dont know what to suggest for the future

I do. Encouragement.
Keep going out with them, once week isn’t gonna spoil your fun is it? Plus It *should* get them more motivated which is good, isn’t it?

Or do you just want to let them fester while we all take the mick?

Maybe take them mtbing where more fun can be had hooning through the forest with less emphasis on speed and stamina.

Take an xc bike next week for laugh

Maybe cite family commitments or some such and suggest a pre ride work? If they’re so slow they eat into work time, there’s not a lot they can say about you being late.

There’s a bit of me still wondering if they’re playing a really long game here and in a few weeks time the OP is going to lose a limb in a wager!

I’d *really* like to be the fly on the wall in the bosses’ kitchens tonight. I wonder what their version of events is? Are they looking at their Strava suffer scores in awe?

Take an xc bike next week for laugh

Brilliant! 🙄

This thread actually reminds me of when myself & 2 mates went to Chamonix. We were pretty fit (back then, mid 90’s) & had done lots of stuff in the UK with some big days out in Scotland, Lakes, Peaks etc.
Well we thought we were the dogs & hired a guy for a days riding to show us the bits we couldn’t see. A guy called Farid Bourebrab. Oh how we laughed when we saw him, skinny as a rake with a funny little bike. We all thought we were reasonable at techy stuff, we thought we were good climbers.
You know the rest.

Turned out he’d been a major rider in the early 90’s, finished 5th in the French DH championships or something & was a Gary Fisher rider.

Don’t mock the less capable, cos Farid must’ve been laughing his cycling socks off at us 3 in Chamonix.

Massively disappointed at this. I even bloody told my wife about this thread as having the potential for comedy gold and now I look like a ****t

+1

You need to have a rant at work, show them this page and start talking about psychlogical damage, and deformation to your character they’ve caused. Then casually mention that a 7 figure exit clause would pay for your therapy and allow you to move to a business with the links to Trek Salfredo you clearly deserve.

I’ve got a trailer for sale in the classfieds. Buy it, fill it with bricks, and take it next week. Instant handicap: you get your training ride, they get to keep up with you on the hills, I get a few quid in the bank. Everyone’s happy. And frankly it’s the least you owe me for not making up a better anecdote.

There’s a bit of me still wondering if they’re playing a really long game here and in a few weeks time the OP is going to lose a limb in a wager!

This thought had cross my mind too, who knows.
Either easy, I feel the fun has been somewhat taken away from the endeavour and that I shall go out with them again but with much lower expectations.

I many feel guilty for failing to deliver any comedy to what had a lot of potential. I’ve let stw down!

Take a mtb with knobbies next time – spent the first half of the year doing exactly the same thing myself. Can have a nice social ride without it being a total waste of time.

Enjoy it OP. I’ve just started leading social rides that run at around 12mph, and when you get your head around the fact that it’s helping the others and giving you a chance to spin your legs and have a recovery ride, I’m really enjoying it.

lunge, you’ve provided us all with some entertainment, but you should ask the mods to delete this thread now. If your bosses ever find it, they will probably not take it in good humour.

As for further rides, what would matter to me most is not whether they were fast or slow, but simply whether they were good company (although obviously you need to factor in the employment relationship as well in this case).

If someone was good company but slow, then I would try to work around that, e.g. maybe use the ride with them as a recovery or low intensity ride and do high intensity the day before.

OK, they’ve made themselves look fairly foolish in your and our eyes by their boasting and not having the fitness to match their fancy kit, but even so, at the end of the day we all have to start somewhere and maybe by riding with you they will improve (the advice on how to get faster is often to go out with faster riders) and also develop a little much needed self awareness and humility.

Don’t friend them up on strava otherwise you won’t be able to go out for a proper ride at the same time as when they’ve invited you out.

You know what, yes, they were a little slower than expected but it just doesn’t matter, we had a laugh and all was well.

This thread was written to provide amusement and lighten up a bleak day and got a little bigger than expected. All is well, we’ll go out again, no issues at all.

it just doesn’t matter, we had a laugh and all was well

And apart from the fact its good for you that’s what it’s all about if you ask me. Go out with them again, riding can actually be very social regardless of the type of riding you do.