I think a sensible strategy would be to slowly make it obvious that you aren’t struggling (assuming you aren’t) but just to the point where they realise it then sit back and ride along at their pace. If they still insist on playing the “are you fit enough?” routine then apply a bit of pressure.

The trick will be to get your boss to realise that you are fitter than him without rubbing his nose in it.

The trick will be to get your boss to realise that you are fitter than him without rubbing his nose in it.

The trick will be to get the best promotion and payrise you can while being a model employee as you ride alongside your boss.
Obviously once the payrise has been signed then the Lance Lookback can be employed on every subsequent ride. 😉

There’s a part of me that’s waiting for the follow-up and secretly hoping that, after all this pre-ride cockiness, OP gets his a*se handed to him by his boss. Or even better, a thread from the CEO of an unnamed company that comes on here to tell the tale of the cocksure lad that they just whipped on their Friday ride

Does that make me a bad person ?
I am the OP and if it was me reading this I’d hope the same. In truth, I only started this to make people smile a bit after a horrible day yesterday, I can only think you all for take the thread in the light hearted way it was intended.

Does that make me a bad person ?

No, just about every road cyclist i know has at some point had their arse handed to them by a tubby bloke in his 50’s. I know i have.

I am the OP and if it was me reading this I’d hope the same. In truth, I only started this to make people smile a bit after a horrible day yesterday, I can only think you all for take the thread in the light hearted way it was intended.

I figured that – sorry, didn’t mean to come across as anything other than light-hearted. By all accounts it appears very unlikely that I’ll get the chance to poke fun anyway 🙂 Nothing else to add to everything that’s been suggested. 🙂

It could turn out they pootled around the sportive because they were perhaps riding with (unknown to OP) much less fitter friend or relative.

Reminds me of a time doing a 50 mile charity ride with some colleagues. One guy, overweight, rode with knees ou/ seat too low style, but wouldn’t take advice on saddle height because it was comfy. Only rising he did was a 2 mile jaunt into work every day, no other sports or fitness. Hammered out the 50 in not much over 2 and half hours. No problem.

Looks can be deceptive.

I would play it by ear and then see what the rides like. If they are full of bluster and no good, destroy them to make a point, but in a light hearted jovial way. But do come back and tell us if you do end up having to eat humble pie.

This…

You let them know they’re pathetic whilst displaying your commitment to the team.

Pray they don’t frequent STW and arent setting you up!

This…

Sure, why simply whup the boss on the climbs and get overlooked for promotion when you could fondle his ringpiece and get fired for sexual harassment?

Enjoy the ride, mention you used to race a bit, introduce team time trial riding formation, don’t be intimidating. If you’re a lot more experienced, pass that on. Of course, if they insist on putting the hammer down you should reciprocate. I suspect that this will be unlikely.

I say, no Aero and no carbon bike! If you turn up with that they will still take the piss but be thinking “he actually might be quick!”

Small wager on the last hill? Anyone pushing has to buy lunch?

I am looking forward to the outcome!

Allow them to beat you and then make a point of checking their bikes for hidden motors before asking them “how come you fat b*****ds ride so fast?”

I’m looking forward to this even more than @HtS’s Fresh Goods Friday thread. Could @Lunge possibly furnish us with an anticipated time for the outcome of all this to appear on the forum? Just so I don’t spend all day checking in and not working. For the good of STW and all that?!

I’d leave the Aero helmet. That would ring alarm bells for me.

Are they just winding you up though? Maybe they know you are fast. I’d suspect a paper thin person to ride well..

Nothing better than turning up on ‘not the latest gear’ and proving the body is the deciding factor.

Plenty going for the slowly grinding them down approach.

Personally, I’d get this out of the way early. Smash the first climb and wait for them, then just ride with them and enjoy it.

Nothing better than turning up on ‘not the latest gear’ and proving the body is the deciding factor

If you’re confident… ride an mtb.

Yeah on the hills just wind it up enough so they can sit on your wheel but only just then chat to them as you ride over the top, rinse and repeat.

stwhannah, ride starts at 3pm, expected finish at 7pm ish (speed depending), will update then.
alexh, fair point on the aero helmet, I’ll leave that at home.
TSY, bike choice is difficult. Part of my thinks to turn up on the MTB or cargo bike but that would be no fun for a road ride. Much as I want this to be a wind up, part of me also wants to enjoy the ride. The sun is due to shine and so I intend to ride my fast bike for no other reason than I love riding it.
adsh, if they do read I hope they take it in the intended light hearted manner which it was meant. Also, hi Dave!
ghostlymachine, there is of course a chance this will come crashing down on me as I too have been destroyed by unfit looking riders. We’ll see, either way it will be a chuckle.
TiRed, a but of through and off could be fun actually as there’s a 5 mile flat section before the hills start.

First question you might want to ask your boss is “Do you use a bike forum called Singletrack?” 🙂

Full suss DH bike, for sure. Extra points for a full-face lid and goggles then proceeding to ride the whole time on the verge.

A few years back when the company I work for was only 30 or so people, I bought a load of cake for the office the day after I won a hill climb. One of the founders then decided to challenge me to a Boris bike race. 😆

EDIT: This thread has brightened my morning no end – Thank you STW. 8)

Smash them on all the hills and pretend you didn’t know you were so fit. Personally I want speedy Dave to hand you your ass just cos your ride report will be more interesting as you humbly explain your over confidence and wait for us to rip you to shreds.

Tempting as it may be, I wouldn’t go rubbing the boss’s nose in it.

Just stay with them and take it easy. Nobody likes a show off.

I just hope they were slow on the sportive and not having a two hour tea break.

Being 90min quicker than someone else on a sportive doesn’t mean that they are quicker / fitter than you. If they did it in a group they could have spent 90min longer at the rest stops. Or ducked into a cafe/pub.
Strava sections are a better estimate.

I went for a ride with one of my Directors – he’s small and light and slower on the flats but flew up climbs like he had a motor. I dragged him along the flats and he waited at the top of the climbs.

We had fun and agreed in a moment of madness to ride the Tour de France Yorkshire stages for charity. Turned out he had more endurance than me too but I have the routefinding ability so we again evened out and we raised over £2k.

We’re now friends too, not just Director/ lackey.

Sounds like the perfect opportunity to inflict maximum suffering to me.
As others said, you mostly want to just ride round with them, but every hill you want to find yourself on the front, and just ever so slightly wind up the pace over the course of the climb so they get drawn into following the wheel and right into the pain cave.
Takes a bit of skill to listen to their breathing and make sure they aren’t going to explode though.
Then on the final climb you can wind it up just that bit more and finish 30s in front.

This strategy shows you are the strongest, but without them thinking they are miles off the pace. This way you can get ‘in the club’ as it were, and give yourself more opportunities to inflict some pain. Win-win 😈

If you turn up on a really flash bike they’ll just put it down to you having a good bike and ribbing you for that.

Turn up on a middle of the road bike and ride along with them, chatting away (if you can) and occassionally ‘acciddentally’ go on ahead, whilst chatting

but flew up climbs like he had a motor

Did he have a motor?

This is a golden opportunity 🙂

Just ride at the front on climbs easing ahead slightly. Their egos will force them to push to keep up. You should be able to hear when they are pushing too hard. So when they start to struggle, look back over your shoulder with a little smirk to yourself whilst sitting up.

Then step on their throats on the last climb, cos you need to stretch your legs.

Lunge – is there a way you can use strava or something so we can track your progress in real time?

Perhaps a little more information on the route. I’m thinking maybe the odd ‘motivational’ message on the road might be amusing

Lunge – is there a way you can use strava or something so we can track your progress in real time?

Perhaps a little more information on the route. I’m thinking maybe the odd ‘motivational’ message on the road might be amusing

Tempting though it is, and I’m sure with enough digging people could work who I am, i’d rather not share this with an entire forum. Plus, if everyone has seen it on Strava I can’t lie about how well it went if I get beaten up can I?!

The writing on the road feels a tad OTT though I do have a few hours spare tonight… “Allez Dave” on the steepest section may well cause some amusement!

‘ Really, is that all you got!! XYZ Company Ltd ‘ painted on the road on one of the climbs?.

How did this go then? We’re all waiting!!!

Friday hasn’t been yet. Doubt he is 2 to 3 days quicker than them.

Hopefully Speedy Dave is carb loading as we speak…just bumping the thread so I can find it later…

Excitement builds, no real comments made but it’s clear both others have brought their A-Game to the party. I’ve brought my best bike, for no other reason than it’s sunny and I wanted to ride it, other 2 have also brought their best bikes too by the looks of it. No aero helmet though i have gone with my snuggest Lycra, don’t want to go too OTT! Good warm up on the commute in has given a few PB’s so feeling sharp.

3pm is go time, 7pm finish, updates to follow.

Is this on Eurosport somewhere? Do I need a subscription?

Is this on Eurosport somewhere?

Hahahaha, no-one wants to see 3 MAMIL’s riding slowly around the East Midlands I’m sure!

I hope you’re doing a warm-up… lunge?

Surely if they have brought their A game you are justified in smashing them to pieces Lance style?.

I am waiting for the entire ride to be a collection of comedy errors which ends jup in a plane’s train’s automobiles type situation with all three huddled in a cheap motel with no money and no bikes.

Ideally you’ll have brought some rollers with you to warm up on from about 2:30. Properly psyche them out.