And this is probably the final email in the whole sorry exchange. I think we've reached the end of the road here with this final email to "BarristerAlex"...
How's it hanging my man? Long time no speak, eh? I had a rather upsetting email off Favour the other day telling me that conditions in the camp were deteriorating and that kids in the camp were dying. She didn't elaborate but that sounds pretty sh*te, whatever it is that's bumping them off.
Now, I've asked you repeatedly what you want me to do with the money. I don't want to send it by Western Union as there is not a branch near me, I checked. It's about 40 minutes on the bus to the nearest one and ****ed if I'm doing that. However, your ineptitude may be just the thing here. You see, Favour told me about the kids in the camp and I can't just sit here and hear about them dying, BarristerAlex, you must surely understand that? To this end I have started a fundraising campaign to help them out, using the cash raised to give them whatever it is they need, food, medicine, Furby's, you name it. We're having a car boot sale for them in the car park of The Warm Zippy this weekend and I've already decided I'm going to shift a load of my old copies of Fiesta and Escort there (and I mean a LOAD) so we should be rolling in it by the end of the day.
Anyway, what I am asking is this, would you be prepared to act as trustee for all the money we raise? Add the cost of such to my bill, it's not a problem as I'm actually pretty loaded. This won't be the end of it though BarristerAlex, I want to make Favour's plight more widely known. I've told my pals down the pub and I'll be telling her story to the local press and radio. I might even tell the story on the internet. You'll be getting a namecheck, don't you worry, although whether you'll be getting a recommendation is another matter, you're gonna have to pull your finger out on this one, sunshine.
Your humble servant,
Jonny Robertson esq.