If you’re in a hurry when you get to work or you don’t have showers, you might consider using some of the alcohol hand gel just to make sure the contents of your shorts are clean and not going to fester all day.

My advice is don’t!

A slight ‘warming’, sir?

Razzle vajazzle… you’l be recommending one of those green pan cleaners as a “personal towel” next…

My washing machine once malfunctioned not cleaning stuff properly leaving globs of detergent on my clothes. I only realised this was the problem after having to patiently sit through a lecture with my ball sack on fire.

this is why i like the “mint” shower gel

*tingles*

don’t ever get ‘Deep Heat’ on your gonads, that’s something you’ll regret for a while! 😯

Toothpaste is also quite uncomfortable on the scrote if you don’t realise where that bit you dropped went.

Nowadays I always check I’ve got pants on prior to squeezing the tube.

If cooking with fresh chillies, do not pick your nose.

Or worse…..

I heard rubbing Tiger Balm into the bellend kills all known germs dead. 😉

old friend forgot to wash his hands after rubbing in ‘Dave’s insanity sauce’ to some chicken then went to the toilet 8O, found him rolling on the floor biting a chunk out of his arm in pain.

I always check I’ve got pants on prior to squeezing the tube

Quote of the day.

Semi related but not bike related.

Don’t go for a massive crap after you’ve put bleach down the toilet without flushing the bleach away first.

That’s a mistake you only make once.

I think Clubber summed it up perfectly.

Also, if fishing you get jellyfish on your line, don’t go for a wee immediately after stripping said Cnidarian from your line.

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhh

HTH commuters.

Kev

Never cut up chillies and then remove contact lenses.

don’t ever get ‘Deep Heat’ on your gonads

many moons ago I walked into the toilet at a rave, 2 big lads,muscles all over the place, were rubbing vicks into their nether regions, they offered it to me, i declined…

Also, if fishing you get jellyfish on your line, don’t go for a wee immediately after stripping said Cnidarian from your line

IIRC pee-ing on jelly fish stings is recommended? 😉

oh and +1 (2 or 3 whatever) for washing you hands after chopping fresh chilli’s, even supposedly week ones….

Use gloves if you are handling caustic. Especially if you need to pee.

many moons ago I walked into the toilet at a rave, 2 big lads,muscles all over the place, were rubbing vicks into their nether regions, they ffered it to me, i declined.

Slightly OT but on a similar line, on a stag night a friend of the groom leaned over to me in a “gentleman’s establishment” and came out with the immortal line “I’ve got some ketamine in my underpants; do you want some?”. I don’t know about anyone else but when a night out gets to the point where you’re being offered horse tranquillisers from someones crotch it’s time to go home.

i ride to work 5 days a week prob about 14 mile each way and take aerosol`s spare boxers/socks incase its raining cause once i had to work all day with a wet ars haha, but yes take spares just incase and a towel etc

Top Tip:

Smear a bit of oil on your fingertips prior to chopping chillies, wash hands when finished and the chilli juice will go with the oil leaving you free to stick your fingers in any orifice you so desire without any untoward effects.

NB: Regardless of culinary activity always seek permission with owner of aforementioned orifice(s) before proceeding.

NB: Regardless of culinary activity always seek permission with owner of aforementioned orifice(s) before proceeding.

Or just shout ‘Surprise!’

This probably won’t help all commuters, but the advice up the page about washing your hands after handling chilis and before going to the toilet, applies doubly to Nitromors.