Bit of a professional quandary and I’d like to know how I should have dealt with this particular situation.

I was at a meeting and the attractive lady from the healthcare professionals sitting to my left was an animated speaker. She had a fair amount to say and used a lot of hand gestures. She was immaculately dressed and was wearing an elaborate ring on the finger of her right hand which had a large stone held in some white metal claws. As she talked this hand spent a fair amount of time being waved around between my face and the table (it was a fairly cramped venue)and out of the corner of my eye I saw something was lodged in the claw of the ring.

I needed to look quite carefully to determine that it was a hair, and a double take to confirm that it’s crinkly texture and shape confirmed that it was, undeniably, a pubic hair.

Now. If I were a lady I would not want the world to know that my jewellery had managed to snag a luxurious pube last time I needed to have a hand/pubis interface, for whatever purpose that may have been. But on the other hand would I want the bloke next to me in the meeting tolet me know what he had seen in order to spare my blushes?

What would you have done?

As it was I remained silent, and quelled a mounting desire to ask her to stop waving her hairy ring under my nose….

waving her hairy ring under my nose….

Sounds like a night out in Middlesbrough.

quelled a mounting desire

oh I bet you had a mounting desire didn’t you sir.
suits you.

Keep quiet FFS!

I was walking to work one day along a canal and noticed the lady in front of me had managed to tuck the bottom of her skirt inside here pants. Anyway I debated for a while before I decided to “do the right thing” and let her know. Well I got the biggest bollocking ever for staring at her bum or whatever she thought I was doing. I guess she was embaressed and maybe overreacted a bit.

did you wolf whistle and shout “is your bum cold sugartits?”

Damn, no – but in retrospect I wish I’d thought of lots of things rather than trying to be nice about it!

Similarly, a few years ago I was sitting in the beer garden of a pleasant pub in Durham. A group of girls were sitting opposite us and I was (ahem) very aware of their presence.

One of them got up to go to the bar and she had a HUGE blood stain on the rear of her white skirt. Her friends noticed, pissed themselves and spent the next few minutes OMG-ing, gasping and covering their mouths with their hands. The girl came back and not one of her friends mentioned it. What a bunch of non-friends.

Eventually, I plucked up the courage to walk over and suggest she might go to the bathroom and look in the mirror. She pulled the skirt over her knees, rouged and slapped me hard. True story.