Every office has one. You know the type. They arrive bright and perky in the morning, always immaculately turned out, greeting you with a cheery hello. During the course of the working day, they engage you in good-natured banter, tell jokes, and cast witty asides, while walking around the office smiling, and generally emanating positivity. As they speak on the phone, they enquire after the welfare of peoples children, and their gleeful laughter echoes around the office.

My question is this. Would a jury take all these facts into consideration, as mitigating factors, even provocation, when considering a guilty verdict in a murder trial? If, purely hypothetically, someone were to bludgeon them to death with the fuser unit out of a photocopier?

No. In a murder trail they would just consider the fax.

*applauds*

😆

When I last checked it was perfectly lawful to eradicate unrequited cheerfulness in Lancashire on a weekday, some sort of local bye-law iirc.

*I am NOT an expert on the law.

*One or more of the above statements may or may not be correct.

For pests the term is “cull” not murder.

bearnecessities – Member
No. In a murder trail they would just consider the fax.

😆

binners, I think it’s probably your civic duty to bludgeon such a person to death with the soggy end of their own torn off right arm.

No jury in the land would convict

I hate those guys! … but then again I hate Everybody 🙂

We just assume he’s on drugs and let him get on with it

No. In a murder trail they would just consider the fax.

Take a bow, bearnecessities! 🙂

No. In a murder trail they would just consider the fax.

Could they not use a 650b wheeled bike to bring it back to life?

(Pedantry aside, chapeau bear, you win the internet today)

I have 2 of the above mentioned happyjolly folk in my team, I’ve just about finished wearing one of them down to an acceptable level of default misery, but the other is proving more resistant. Worst thing is she’s just been given an (empty) promotion to team leader. Upgrading to level 5…

bearnecessities is my new hero 😀

Happy office people will be the death of us all. Give it about 10 seconds and someone will post a photo of that chap in a purple shirt and comedy tie. I should add that I’ve not worked in an office. Pretty much ever.

bearnecessities
a murder trail

New kind of MTB weekend away? Go out with your mates on your bikes, follow the trail till only one person remains alive?

binners – Member
Every office has one. You know the type. They arrive bright and perky in the morning, always immaculately turned out, greeting you with a cheery hello. During the course of the working day, they engage you in good-natured banter, tell jokes, and cast witty asides, while walking around the office smiling, and generally emanating positivity. As they speak on the phone, they enquire after the welfare of peoples children, and their gleeful laughter echoes around the office.

*Waves* 😆

Ned Flanders?

I always assume there’s something wrong with them.
You can be happy riding a bike, or playing with your kids, or when you’re down the pub, but being happy in an office means there’s something wrong with your powers of perception of reality 🙂

They could pay a visit to the special shower block in the forest as far as I’m concerned. My work is depressing enough without someone actually enjoying it! I work in Treblinsk Rubbish Tractor Production Facility No.1.

That last statement may not be true but it accurately describes where I really work.

My question is this. Would a jury take all these facts into consideration, as mitigating factors, even provocation, when considering a guilty verdict in a murder trial? If, purely hypothetically, someone were to bludgeon them to death with the fuser unit out of a photocopier?

If you snatch them when no ones looking and do a decent job of getting rid of the body it would not be an issue.

Know anyone with pigs.

I always assume there’s something wrong with them.

Drugs. It has to be….

Hmm…

My work colleagues have described me as having a sunny disposition and seeing good in everyone.

My missus on the other hand says that I’m a right grumpy bastard.

Should I fetch the copier toolkit now?

How are you binners and how are those lovely kids of yours these days?, we really must…. 😆

People (mainly the misery guts production staff) always used to ask me why and how I was so cheerful at work. One bloke in particular used to ask me how I did it as he couldn’t understand how I was always smiling and happy, even when there was lots of pressure to get things done and things were going wrong.

However, 14 years out of uni working in engineering and I now look back and wonder where that cheerful soul has gone and why he’s been replaced by this miserable, cynical grumpy, stressed out duffer….. 😀 😥

There’s one in our office… you won’t believe what his name is… Sunny.

(I like him, actually, there are plenty of others I’d murder first.)

In my experience people like this are nearly always from the home counties. In fact I’ve known a few people from down that way who lived in Manchester who actually moved back down south because they couldn’t handle the northern nihilistic cynicism.

I’m down in Devon and grumpy feckers tend to get a hard punch in the cock unless they buck their ideas up

I always thought those people had terrible home lives if they are that happy to be at work with us lot 😆

yup, thats me, sunny and smiley all the time ….

Why you ask ?

Mainly as it bugs the shit out of people and really annoys them … especially the wife …

In my experience people like this are nearly always from the home counties. In fact I’ve known a few people from down that way who lived in Manchester who actually moved back down south because they couldn’t handle the northern nihilistic cynicism.

Bang on! He’s from Surrey. He’s not in the office often, as all us grumpy, world-weary, cynical northern gits all (rightfully) view him with deep suspicion and mistrust. He’s relentlessly, punishingly upbeat and cheerful. Like a walking corporate motivational poster, featuring a picture of a rainbow and a slogan about teamwork.

I hate him with every fibre of my being.

There’s a foo fighters song about this, or something.

To be honest, until life started kicking, I was that guy ^.

Now I’m this guy.

😆 My TL is also from Surrey, hmm. Something in the water down there?

[video]http://youtu.be/xgMgkl-gRxk[/video]

Question..

Would your attitude change towards them if said person was a Girl?

❓
😉

people with cheery, sunny, positive dispositions….

Sorry ,I can’t help it 😀

*Waves* back at bikebouy

I presume that outside of work, and in times of solitary contemplation they face their demons and become hollowed out shells of woe and despair. just like the rest of us when we’re at work.

Ming the Merciless
I work in Treblinsk Rubbish Tractor Production Facility No.1.

You are lucky, comrade. Factory No1, the decadence of it! Us mere political sheep, who are forever banished to factory 14 are far, far worse off comrade.

Would your attitude change towards them if said person was a Girl?

Oh christ!! They’re even worse!!! Then you get women who describe themselves as ‘bubbly’!!

And with those, you just know that they cry themselves to sleep, alone, every night. Filled with self-loathing after binging on chocolate and chardonnay, while watching Rom Coms

Culling those who constantly use happy cliches is always welcome

I generally do my best to be cheery and super positive towards miserable pessimistic greetin faced shite toads. Any other normal people will know me as miserable greeting faced shite toad with propensity for winding folk up, that was my boss’ assesment at my last appraisal. 😆

I had to leave leave Manchester because I was too cheery – happy days!

I just have to import Vimto and Hollands Steak&Kidney puddings.

brakes you could have been quoting from Marx’s Economic and Philosophical Manuscripts, chapeau!