I know a lot of you like your movies, a mate of mine is playing a game on facebook that involves adding ‘ing’ on the end of film titles to change the movie synopsis –

ie –

The grand day outing: Wallace and Grommet final confess their true feelings for one another.

Jackie Browning.
One woman’s journey to find perfect gravy set against a back drop off Harlem in the 70s

Over to you…

Been done on here, before, but…

Ferris Bueller’s Day Offing
A lovable rogue finally gets caught in act, and pays the ultimate price.

Triumph of the Willing
A group of generally congenial, easy-to-get-along-with folk, finally get what they deserve

Fist(ing) of Legend: Jet Li avenges his master’s death by ummm…

Schindlers Listing.

In which a Germans left leg begins to grow inexplicably.

The Breakfast Clubbing
A tale of teenage weekend early morning seal hunting

Die Harding!
A story about one mans hatred of a man called Mike.

Pacific Rimming
One man’s journey south of the equator.

Fletching
A documentary about installing feathers to the blunt ends of arrows

Fasting and Furious
A tale of hunger and rage

Faceing Off.

Travolta and Cage debate whether their Inbred frame needs machining before fitting a bottom bracket.

Goldfingering
Say no more.

Point Breaking – the plot of the film is so weak it fails to sustain itself to the end but remains stylistically pleasing enough to become a classic

Romancing the stoning- heartfelt tale of love on the ISIS front.

Trueing romance

Two wheelbuilders find love over a pair of stans ztr’s

Who framed rogering rabbit?

A story of prejudice in the rodent constabulary.

The Ringing

Tinnitus documentary

Dogging Soldiers

…..

Das Booting.
Insightful, thoughtful epic recounting the moral lifting arse-kicking contests regularly held by German submariners during the Battle of the Atlantic.

Das Booting II.
Frank Skinner falls off the waggon and rants uncontrollably for seven hours about post ’66 England/Germany football Internationals.

Reservoir Dogging, a tale of night riding around Rivington…

Kill Billing a systems operator takes down the invoicing server.

Ironing Man. The story of a man who stays at home while his missus works.

Staring Wars. A cat and it’s owner’s daily battle of wits.

Closer to the edging.

“Promises a lot, but it is all just a tease and ultimately fails to deliver a climax” – Empire Magazine

Spidermaning – A young man improves his luck with ladies by growing 8 dreadlocks.

The Crowing – Brandon Lee sits on his high horse for 90 minutes

The Danish Girling – an everyday tale of Scandinavian brake manufacturers

Ant Manning – biopic about Bernand Mannings little known brother.

The Thing… oh, wait… what were the rules again?

Pulping Fiction – A tedious four hour epic focusing on the pain and financial suffering of failed self published authors.

Chitty Chitty Bang Banging.
The kind of film Alan Partridge might have watched in the Travel Tavern.

The Right Stuffing – the story of mankind’s quest for the perfect sunday roast

Ramboing: Sheep bouncing trials.

The Matrixing – a story of one company’s shift from traditional management lines.

Xing men.

The green cross code with mutant lollipop ladies.

The Banding of Brothers:

The pay strata of a large family is now…..categorised

Flashing Gordon,
The tale of one man’s inexplicable need to keep exposing himself

Fist(ing) of Fury: Bruce Lee avenges his master’s death by ummm…

Lording of the Rings – a backwards glance at Freddie Mercury’s life story.

Fielding of Dreams

Semi-autobiographical account of a boy’s obsession with lesser remembered Blue Peter presenter.

Entering the Dragon – Porn involving Duncan Bannatyne/Deborah Meadon* Delete as appropriate.

Jurassic Parking – a fly on the wall documentary about a traffic warden in the age of the dinosaurs