spurred on by the fathers day post.
just sat here thinking and a bit sad to be honest.
i never knew my dad, anyone else the same?

would i have turned out different if i had been brought up with a father figure?

i never knew my dad, anyone else the same?

Pretty much the same here.
My old man was/is a bit of a tw not a very nice person. Fortunately I turned out OK. 8)

Very close to my old man who has seen better days now it has to be said. Was my best pal growing up and it brings a tear to my eye seeing him falling apart.

I know my dad, in so far as we shared a house for years. For the interest he showed in me, it wouldn’t have made much difference if I hadn’t.

Met my father for the first time for 25 years, twice in the last month or so. Fell out in my 20’s

He’s interesting, but don’t feel like I have missed a lot.

Friends you get to choose, kids you have to love and look after almost whatever they do, but not all parents are great.

Mine died when i was two no memories of him. Becoming a father has made me think about it a bit. My sons now 18 months he knows me and has fun with me. Guess i must have had that with my dad too just dont remember. Always hated fathers day, mind you that dumb bint of a primary school teacher who made me do maths when everyone else made fathers day cards got paid back in spades 😈

i never knew my dad, anyone else the same?

I’m not sure, what did he look like?

would i have turned out different if i had been brought up with a father figure?

Yep, you certainly would. But you are who you are because of the things that happen to you and those that did raise you in your earlier years (as well as the genetic contribution from your forebears). There’s zip you can do to change any of this. Unless you can accept this fact and be reconciled with it, you can never be truly content.

Well said Darcy.
Haven’t managed the content bit at an emotional level, but have at a logical level.

I’m 55, my Dad died 10 years ago. It wasn’t untill he died that I realised he was pretty unique/awesome/loving & caring.
But Mum made better pies/cakes/Sunday dinners!

I got a coool E Father’s Day BBM from Gti Junior aged 13:

“Happy Father’s Day Dad! You’re my role model, and I love the way you’re always SO patient with me, especially when I’m out on my bike. Love you loads!”

Angry relationship before I left home at 18, can’t give him the time of day as I’m pretty emotionless anyway. He’s been ill lately, on his seventies and I keep wondering how I’d think if he cops it. What if he asks me to forgive him – should i lie and say yes to a dying man or keep quiet? I know that sounds heartless, but it’s my brother they give a s*** about, not me.

Mine walked when I was 11 and my mum did a sterling job of bringing 3 of us up. Kept in touch with him, started a business with him when i was 22 but he has always been a friend/business partner but not a dad. Guess he was just not cut out for it as I have two sons now and he is a very poor grandad. I have spent the last 21 years (oldest boy now 21)being the best dad i could possibly be……. so its been no big deal I guess.

i dont know my mum, she left me and my brother when he was 3 months old (i was 2)

im close to my dad and im glad i had him as my only parent! my mum sounds like a horrible, nasty piece of work!

im ok now (I think)

I lost my Daa to cancer when I was in my early 20’s. He was always a bit of an insular kinda guy, very intelligent and had a fab career, hugely creative and knew some influential folks in the science world. As for him being around when I was growing up, well noh, he was always away on some conference/working thingumybob, when he did come home I’m not too sure he actually wanted to be around. He was “distant” to say the least.
So I grew up through early teens/20’s without him around much/at all, I became the father figure somewhat and it’s never left me.
Once he died I had a serious problem with it, never really reconciled our differences and I felt cheated for quite some time. I took about 10 years for me to finally let go and to this day I often wonder what I’d be like if I had a Daa that I could go to the Pub with or go riding or camping or sailing or meeting my first G/F, or help me out when I needed a shoulder and all that.
I still feel somewhat cheated to this day so I guess I’m not really over it.
I’ve never had kids, I think that has been/is a major reflection of my relationship with him.
My Mum says he was a fantastic Guy, must have been to marry my Mum, but I never saw that side of him.
Shame.

I never knew my real dad ’til I was 21, turned out he was quite a strange fella!
Haven’t spoken for nearly 10 years, can’t imagine I will again.

I’m 25 years older than my father. Needless to say Father’s Day did not feature in our family as a child. Now I’m a father, it’s pretty low key too.

I’m 25 years older than my father. Needless to say Father’s Day did not feature in our family as a child.

That’s understandable.

..

Mine died when I was 2, my mum did a good job (of course!) but she never really got over it and huge ramifications for the family of course too.

My Mum says he was a fantastic Guy, must have been to marry my Mum, but I never saw that side of him.

I love it when you are old enough to have your own kids and you see a photo of your parents together when younger and you suddenly ‘get it’. Most photos don’t do it but just occasionally you get one where you see a young couple having a great time and that’s fantastic, even if as happens so often that they later split up 🙁

I’m 25 years older than my father.

?? am I the only one who is puzzled by this??

I’m 44 and my father is forever 29… Drive carefully.

Oh, and in terms of looks, my wife could not tell age-matched photos of me and him apart. So I guess at 44, he would have looked like me. When my kids reached six, it was an interesting time, personally.

EDIT: Oops 15 years (doh). Must be the emotion of the day (not really).

The worst thing for me about having lost my dad so young is his bloody family. Not having or remembering a dad was normal for me and isnt something i’ve ever lost sleep over but bloody hell seeing his parents was odd. Not really knowing what links you to these old people who act strangely when your around was a bit wierd, guess it wasnt easy for them either.

i never knew my dad, anyone else the same?

My dad passed away when I was 18. Since the age of 11 I’d been an absolute shit, and it’s far to say the last 7 years of his life were a misery.

So, I had a dad, but he never knew how well I turned out, how much I loved him, nor I how much he loved me.

For those lucky enough to have a dad, remember he may not be here tomorrow.

Ah I guessed (arithmetic though dear fellow). 🙁

ah i get it now, sorry to hear that.

seeing his parents was odd

You can not begin to imagine the looks I used to get when I met my father’s family. At a funeral his cousin turned white and almost fainted (I was 30 at the time). The rest could not stop staring. Understandable I guess.

Dad remarried 2 years after my mum died, he has been a bit semi-detached since then. We’ve had to do some severe adjusting to the change. He used to be the archetypal family dad, now he’s a lot less engaged with his kids and grandchildren. His loss unfortunately, though it has left me a bit wobbly at times.

For those lucky enough to have a dad, remember he may not be here tomorrow.

I’ll second that.

On the positive side, I had a very close family, a fantastic grandfather who was younger than some fathers and try and make the most of my own kids. So this was father’s day today:

Anybody else here say that they are older than their father?

i have had a bit of a drink now so i might not come over right.

my son came today with my grandaughter and his fiance and her daughter.
looks like they are getting wed next summer, so i am gonna be a grandad to 2 ace 3yr old girls, who i love to bits, and i think love me and the wife to bits
and i am thinking that my dad never had that feeling from me and my 2 sisters…which is a bit sad i think.

I was lucky enough to have my Dad until I was 30. That’s 10 1/2 years ago. Still miss him like crazy.

Hey nice one Ton. I had a difficult relationship with my father. He was a conservative Midwest American guy and didn’t know how to handle the fact that I’m gay. I wish it could have been different for us.

Still, I’ll tell you what was awesome today. My niece (not blood but I’m her “uncle”) gave me a father’s day card and a tie made of cardboard today. I’m not going to lie, I’ve been crying my eyes out, but in a good way.

I didn’t have a dad in my life, he left when i was a baby.
I guess you don’t really miss what you never knew.

my mum and dad split up shortly after I was born, I’m told that he was a great part-time Dad, especially when compared to others of that era.. I saw him every weekend and he doted on me..

he died when I was 6 years old though and I have no recollection of him at all.. I didn’t really know too much about him either until last year when I met a good friend of his by a chance encounter..

My stepfather was a good man, but he had some violent anger issues, and was a workaholic, and we generally kept out of each other’s way..

This all means that I have no real idea of what a father’s role is so I’m raising my sons by instinct, and by trying to be the best friend that I can be.. some folks say that you shouldn’t be a friend to your kids, but I’m not sure quite how to approach that..

I got an ‘Evil Stepfathers’ card off my stepson today, funny as ****! 😆

Well I’ll just put a quick positive in on this one, my dad was 60 last yr, can still arm wrestle like a strongman, adores his grand kids, winds the old dear up and is still the most level headed person in our entire family! I’d miss him massively if he wasn’t here.

Some sad stories here. 🙁

I got an ‘Evil Stepfathers’ card off my stepson today, funny as ****

I should have done something like that… I get on ok with my stepdad these days.. not sure if we’re quite at that level of humour quite yet..

it would be great if we were though and wouldn’t take a great deal to get there either with a bit of effort..

Now that I’m a Dad, I wonder if he was as aggressive as he appeared or if that was just my inexperience of being close to adult males..