1.

Bros. I owe you nothing.

I’ll watch you crumble, like a very old wall.

Des’ree. Life.

Total shite from start to finish.

Mmm, yeah yeah yeah
Oh yeah, yeah yeah
Oh life, oh life

I’m afraid of the dark
Especially when I’m in a park
And there’s no one else around
Ooh, I get the shivers

I don’t want to see a ghost
It’s a sight that I fear most
I’d rather have a piece of toast
And watch the evening news

Life, oh life, oh life, oh life
Doo, doo doo doo
Life, oh life, oh life, oh life
Doo, doo doo doo

I’m a superstitious girl
I’m the worst in the world
Never walk under ladders
I keep a rabbit’s tail

I’ll take you up on a dare
Anytime, anywhere
Name the place, I’ll be there
Bungee jumping, I don’t care

Life, oh life, oh life, oh life
Doo, doo doo doo
Life, oh life, oh life, oh life
Doo, doo doo
Life, doo, doo doo
Doo, doo doo

So after all is said and done
I know I’m not the only one
Life indeed can be fun
If you really want to

Sometimes living out your dreams
Ain’t as easy as it seems
You wanna fly around the world
In a beautiful balloon

Life, oh life, oh life, oh life
Doo, doo doo doo
Life, oh life, oh life, oh life
Doo, doo doo doo

Life, oh life, oh life, oh life
Doo, doo doo doo
Life, oh life, oh life, oh life
Doo, doo doo doo

Doo, doo doo doo
Doo, doo doo doo
Doo, doo doo doo
Doo, doo doo doo
Doo, doo doo doo
Oh life, oh life

Oh life, oh life, oh life, oh life
Oh life, oh life, oh life, oh life

😆

Are they really the lyrics? Whoever wrote that is a genius.

Genuine lyrics from a genuine song.

Snap –
I’m serious as cancer,
when I say rhythm is a dancer

and this whole song by Oleta Adams –

You can reach me by railway
You can reach me by trailway
You can reach me on an airplane
You can reach me with your mind

You can reach me by a caravan
Cross the desert like an Arab man
I don’t care how you get here
Just Get here if you can

You can reach me by sailboat
Climb a tree and swing rope to rope
Take a sled and slide down the slope
Into these arms of mine

You can jump on a speedy colt
Cross the border in a blaze of hope
I don’t care how you get here
Just Get here if you can

There are hills and mountains between us
Always something to get over
If I had my way, surely you would be closer
I need you closer

There are hills and mountains between us
Always something to get over
If I had my way, surely you would be closer
I need you closer

You can windsurf into my life
Take me up on a carpet ride
You can make it in a big balloon
But you better make it soon

You can reach me by caravan
Cross the desert like an Arab man
I don’t care how you get here
Get here if you can

I don’t care, I don’t care
I need you right here, right now
I need you right here, right now, right by my side
Yeah yeah, yeah yeah

Yeah yeah, oh
I don’t care how you get here
Get here if you can

The Joker by Steve Miller really runs out of steam after the first verse. [edit]actually, it is pretty awful from the outset.[/edit]

Some people call me the space cowboy, yeah
Some call me the gangster of love
Some people call me Maurice
Cause I speak of the pompitous of love

People talk about me, baby
Say I’m doin’ you wrong, doin’ you wrong
Well, don’t you worry baby
Don’t worry
Cause I’m right here, right here, right here, right here at home

Cause I’m a picker
I’m a grinner
I’m a lover
And I’m a sinner
I play my music in the sun

I’m a joker
I’m a smoker
I’m a midnight toker
I sure don’t want to hurt no one

I’m a picker
I’m a grinner
I’m a lover
And I’m a sinner
I play my music in the sun

I’m a joker
I’m a smoker
I’m a midnight toker
I get my lovin’ on the run
Wooo Wooooo

You’re the cutest thing
That I ever did see
I really love your peaches
Want to shake your tree
Lovey-dovey, lovey-dovey, lovey-dovey all the time
Ooo-eee baby, I’ll sure show you a good time

Cause I’m a picker
I’m a grinner
I’m a lover
And I’m a sinner
I play my music in the sun

I’m a joker
I’m a smoker
I’m a midnight toker
I get my lovin’ on the run

I’m a picker
I’m a grinner
I’m a lover
And I’m a sinner
I play my music in the sun

I’m a joker
I’m a smoker
I’m a midnight toker
I sure don’t want to hurt no one

Wooo Woooo

People keep talking about me baby
They say I’m doin’ you wrong
Well don’t you worry, don’t worry, no don’t worry mama
Cause I’m right here at home

You’re the cutest thing I ever did see
Really love your peaches want to shake your tree
Lovey-dovey, lovey-dovey, lovey-dovey all the time
Come on baby and I’ll show you a good time

Not sure the Oleta Adams one is that bad – sentiment is quite nice. I would partner that with ‘Drivin home for Christmas’ for a maximum schmaltzfest.

I’m as serious as

cancer

when I say

Rhythm

Is a dancer.

Oleta Adams one isn’t that bad. It isn’t shakespear either mind you.
There are loads but I’m struggling to think of them. 😕

Kanye West:
Don’t try to treat me like I ain’t famous
My apologies, are you into astrology
Cause um, I’m tryin to make it to Uranus

Moldy Peaches:
I’m just an ass in the crack of humanity.
I’m just a huge manatee
A huge manatee.

David Guetta feat. Akon:

I’m trying to find the words to describe this girl
Without being disrespectful…
Damn you’re a sexy bitch!

I’ve been driving in my car, it’s not quite a Jaguar
I bought it in Primrose Hill from a bloke from Brazil
It was made in fifty-nine in a factory by the Tyne
It says Morris on the door, the G.P.O. owned it before
I drive in it for my job, the governor calls me a slob
But I don’t really care, give me some gas and the open air

It’s a bit old but it’s mine, I mend it in my spare time
Just last week I changed the oil, the rocker valves and the coil
Just last week I changed the oil
Last week it went round the clock, I also had a little knock
I dented somebody’s fender, he learnt not to park on a bender, ha ha ha

I’ve been driving in my car, it don’t look much but I’ve been far
I drive up to Muswell Hill, I’ve even been to Selsey Bill
I drove along the A45, I had her up to 58
This copper stopped me the other day, you’re mistaken what could I say
The tyres were a little worn, they were O.K., I could have sworn
I like driving in my car, I’m satisfied I’ve got this far

I like driving in my car, it don’t look much but I’ve been far
I like driving in my car, even with a flat tyre
I like driving in my car, it’s not quite a Jaguar
I like driving in my car, I’m satisfied I’ve got this far

It’s a waste of valuable internet space to quote any more than this:

Marry that girl
Marry her anyway
Marry that girl
Yeah, no matter what you say
Marry that girl
And we’ll be a family
Why you gotta be so
Rude

It’s not the way you dance,
It’s the way your eyes glance

Flock of Seagulls. Without doubt their finest moment 🙂

Bregante – how dare you insult Madness. You’re banned; Mod’s sort it out please 😛

At least the Madness song tells a story therefore I still love it 8)

I offer Adele and “Set Fire to the Rain” wt actual f????????

[Chorus:]
But I set fire to the rain,
Watched it pour as I touched your face,
Well, it burned while I cried
‘Cause I heard it screaming out your name, your name!
[Chorus]

really runs out of steam after the first verse.

I think you may need to be a joker, smoker and midnight toker to appreciate it

The entire works of kenny rodgers

Biffy Clyro
Born on a horse

I pronounce it “aluminium”
Because there’s an “i” next to the “u” and “m”

Peaches by Presidents of United States of America – I love it !

Movin’ to the country,
Gonna eat a lot of peaches
Movin’ to the country,
Gonna eat me a lot of peaches
Movin’ to the country,
Gonna eat a lot of peaches
Movin’ to the country,
Gonna eat a lot of peaches

Peaches come from a can,
They were put there by a man
In a factory downtown
If I had my little way,
I’d eat peaches every day
Sun-soakin’ bulges in the shade

etc etc…

…Millions of peaches, peaches for me
Millions of peaches, peaches for free
Look out!

My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely lady lumps (Check it out)

Black Eyed Peas.

just one example from Jonathan Richman stuff e.g.:-

Here come the Martian Martians
And they’re riding on their Martian bike
Well, we have to find out right now
What kind of ice cream do the Martians like?

I was looking for a job
Then I found a job

I’m sure I could nominate pretty much everything that’s appeared in the UK Top 40 for the last decade.
I can’t give specifics, the last time I had even a nodding acquaintance with the music charts was when Top Of The Pops was still on.
My radio station of choice doesn’t acknowledge the existence of a Top Forty.
Thank God.

“Mouldy Old Dough”, Lieutenant Pigeon anyone?

The first time I heard that desree song I knew that I had just heard the worst song ever.
I was dumbfounded that the engineer didn’t run out of the booth and throttle her. There’s no way that adults would have thought they could get away with that steaming pile of crap.
Ps thank you for reopening the wound. Aargh. 👿

[“A” – Anita]
[“R” – Ray]

[R:] Let me hear you say Yeah!
Let me hear you say Yeah!

[A:] No no, no no no no, no no no no, no no there’s no limit!
No no, no no no no, no no no no, no no there’s no limit!

[A:] No no limits, we’ll reach for the sky!
No valley to deep, no maintain to high
No no limits, won’t give up the fight
We do what we want and we do it with pride

[R:] Let me hear you say Yeah!

[R:] Hard to the core, I feel the floor
When I’m on the stage, yo, yo’ll ask for more
I’m on the ass, I know the last
I work real hard do you like my cash
Tick tick ticka tick take your time
When I’m goin’ I’m goin’ for mine
Open you ears and you will hear it
I tell you this ’cause there’s no limit!

[A:] No no, no no no no, no no no no, no no there’s no limit!
No no, no no no no, no no no no, no no there’s no limit!

[A:] No no limits, we’ll reach for the sky!
No valley to deep, no maintain to high
No no limits, won’t give up the fight
We do what we want and we do it with pride

[R:] No limits allowed, cause there’s much crowd
Microphone check as I choose my rhyme
I’m playing on the road; I’ve got no fear
The sound for my mouth is the rap you hear
No valley too deep, no mountain too high
Reach the top, touch the sky!
They tried to diss me cause I sell out
I’m making techno when I am proud!

[A:] No no limits, we’ll reach for the sky!
No valley to deep, no maintain to high
No no limits, won’t give up the fight
We do what we want and we do it with pride

Whenever i listen to Cocaine Blues on Live at Folsom Prison you can hear Cash kind of laughing as he sings

“When I was arrested I was dressed in black, they put me on a train and they took me …back”

Tonight there’s gonna be a jailbreak
Somewhere in this town

Hmm. Let me guess. The bakery? No? Oooooh, I know, I know! The swimming pool?

No?

“Sure as Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Se – rengeti”

Pure, cask-strength, unadulterated pish.

Lucky that my lips not only mumble
They spill kisses like a fountain
Lucky that my breasts are small and humble
So you don’t confuse them with mountains

Tonight there’s gonna be a jailbreak
Somewhere in this town
Hmm. Let me guess. The bakery? No? Oooooh, I know, I know! The swimming pool?

No?
A breakout in London town would be difficult to pinpoint.

I’m a fire starter
Twisted fire starter

I think that’s the gist of it

“Sure as Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Se – rengeti”

That song was my first thought. Somehow these are worse when the writer seems to have really tried.

Mmm did I see you planting seeds in the forest
Is it for the green of the dollars
Now don’t go telling me it’s for the needs of the poorest
Now Imma take a shit in your palace

[video]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2WNrx2jq184[/video]

How to take some of the worst lyrics ever put to music and make them into a tour de force.
So NSFW it’s unbelievable (and before you start the whole ‘thing’…I know.I think he is awesome)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wHfo8zwYFUo

It’s a lot better than the Chris de Berg version. But to be fair, so’s being gassed.

anyway…

Before he leaves the camp he stops
He scans the world outside
And where there used to be some shops
Is where the snipers sometimes hide

Human League, the Lebanon, “and where there used to be some shops” great rock n roll line.

Step forward, Carl Douglas..

There were funky China men from funky Chinatown
They were chopping them up
They were chopping them down
It’s an ancient Chinese art
And everybody knew their part
From a feint into a slip
And a kickin’ from the hip
Everybody was Kung Fu fighting
Those kicks were fast as lightning
In fact it was a little bit frightning
But they fought with expert timing