Last night, I did something against my better judgement and went into Barnsley for a ‘few drinks’ with some of the folk from work, not realising until the last minute it was mad friday. Long story short, within four hours I was totally wankered. Following this, during a long night of feeling unusual, I went downstairs searching for some alka seltzer. AND THEN IT HAPPENED! Completely unexpectedly, I somehow managed to sneeze, fart and spew up, all at the same time. Is there a name for this phenomenon, has anyone else ever experienced such a thing, and more importantly, will I die?

Just a fart? Are you sure? Is there something you’re not telling us?

sneeze, fart and spew up, all at the same time. Is there a name for this phenomenon

PMSL!

Norovirus but I’d take a guess and say it may not have been that on this occasion.

Congratulations!!!
We used to call it a Grandslam™.

I did it once outside the front gate while looking for my ID card after an end of course piss up in Catterick.

Although I followed through… 🙄 😥

A Sparteeze. Very common. Try not to worry. Much better than a Sharteeze.

Shomit?

I call it a “poor effort”

luckily you can make amends tonight – with video

No follow through, thank Christ, but that would have been the last straw in an experience I’m going to need therapy for.

Did it sound like a drowning duck starting a petrol chainsaw?

😆

Did you get any carrots stuck in your nose?

Where did you spew? In the kitchen sink? All over the dinner dishes?
😀

How far did the arisings go?

I went out for beers in Barnsley once. In the very first pub of the night, went for a pee and was shocked to find a robust stool had been deposited in one of the urinals. How very odd.

Beep beep – vehicle reversing.

The spew (not a massive amount, but enough to burn shame into my soul forever) went down my dressing gown, a nice calvin klein one that mrs Mitch bought me. The horror! She gave me a certain look, but didn’t comment. I believe I heard her laughing when I closed the bedroom door behind me. 😳

We used to call it a Grandslam™.

Worked on a tourist fishing boat one holidays and was asked to go clean up a “helicopter” in the ladies’ loo. Went in there with a bucket and mop and there was puke everywhere – doors, walls, ceiling. Woman had projectile vomited while on the bog …

Did the fart hurt? They come out with quite some pressure if you sneeze at the same time. A good quality ripper.

on and on – Member
Did it sound like a drowning duck starting a petrol chainsaw?

Best thing I’ve read today! Titfer. (A less posh chapeau). 😆

Best thing ive read in months on here. Pmsl as did the wife and inlaws when I had to explain my random bout of giggles!

A couple of years ago at leeds festival on the Thursday I had proudly won a game of wizard sticks and polished off a crate of Stella in around 10 hours, cue early night at half 9! Woke up at 1 am with a full on sprint to what passes for a toilet there, where I was about to ferociously erupt from both end with only one target, I picked the lesser of 2 evils and defacated in the pan while painting the toilet door the colours of the rainbow! Felt ace after though!

If you fart and sneeze at the same time you do a backflip. Fact.

Still feeling fragile, and to make matters worse, I’m starting with the trots. Sore ribs from all the spewing, farting like a brewery hoss, and a nipsy like a sauce bottle top. It might be business night, but MrsMitch will have to sort herself out!

I am sat up with insomnia feeling depressed, angry and sad.
I then found this post…….sat laughing now, well done mitch, your are a beacon of light in my dark lonely night………. 😆

Think yourself lucky, Ton, I’m at work.
Roll on 7am.

Lol @ greatape, brilliant.

Thread of the weekend. Cracking up!

What an educational thread. I’ve learnt so much and so many new words.

After a couple of shandies on Friday night I spend the majority of Saturday chucking up in my toilet.

I now have a really bad sore throat, and feel like I’ve pulled a muscle in the back of my neck and can’t swallow properly. I’m still feeling a bit hungover too. I have come to the conclusion that at 33, I can’t drink like I used to when I was a student. 😕

barnsleymitch – Member
…farting like a brewery hoss, and a nipsy like a sauce bottle top.

Nipsy?
Ah, you mean you’ve an arse like a Morcambe Bay prawn?