Viewing 23 posts - 81 through 103 (of 103 total)
  • 6yr old daughter behaving like a stroppy teenager… How to handle this?
  • gonzy
    Free Member

    Yea but admit it, you had to ask her nicely

    😆

    hora
    Free Member

    Agree reference reasoning etc. They need strict borders to behaviour first and foremost.

    On his own with me hora junior is good. With Mum he’s a like a handgrenade in a China shop!

    captainsasquatch
    Free Member

    this normally starts off with her pulling a face and sulking, then comes the stamping of the feet, then comes the screaming and shouting, then comes the lying on the floor kicking and screaming and then the slamming of doors and throwing of toys etc
    its normally over trivial little things
    example 1:
    she was going upstairs and was halfway up. i asked if she wanted to carry her up or if she wild go up quicker..she wanted me to carry her..so i did. she didnt like this…told me to put her down. i had to go back to the bottom of the stairs and ask her if she wanted carrying then i had to wait for her to come back down and then i had to carry her back up
    example 2:
    asked her to come and have her breakfast as we were running late due to her earlier tantrum over school uniform. she refused as she reckoned i’d just shouted at her. after she finished having her second mini meltdown of the morning i said i was sorry and asked her to eat her breakfast,. she then told me i didnt apologise nicely. so i did. then she said that i didnt call her by her name. so again i said im sorry amelia but can you eat your breakfast now. but still she wasnt happy as i didnt call her a princess. so again i said im sorry princess amelia now can you eat your breakfast. her response was “you didnt say please”

    she is the middle child though and most of the time she is good as gold but when she goes off on one she really does go off on one
    This isn’t real, is it? This made me laugh as much as I would have laughed at little miss if she had behaved in the same way. Have your tantrum sweetheart, just keep the noise down!

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    Cougar
    Full Member

    She’s got you well and truly by the delicates mate.

    Pretty much what I thought TBH. Sorry.

    ourmaninthenorth
    Full Member

    example 1:
    she was going upstairs and was halfway up. i asked if she wanted to carry her up or if she wild go up quicker..she wanted me to carry her..so i did. she didnt like this…told me to put her down. i had to go back to the bottom of the stairs and ask her if she wanted carrying then i had to wait for her to come back down and then i had to carry her back up
    example 2:
    asked her to come and have her breakfast as we were running late due to her earlier tantrum over school uniform. she refused as she reckoned i’d just shouted at her. after she finished having her second mini meltdown of the morning i said i was sorry and asked her to eat her breakfast,. she then told me i didnt apologise nicely. so i did. then she said that i didnt call her by her name. so again i said im sorry amelia but can you eat your breakfast now. but still she wasnt happy as i didnt call her a princess. so again i said im sorry princess amelia now can you eat your breakfast. her response was “you didnt say please”

    Bloody hell – I thought I soft on my 6yo daughter!

    She’s got you well and truly by the delicates mate.

    The phrase is pwned – and you have been.

    easygirl
    Full Member

    If the above is real, you need to ask yourself some serious questions, you are doing the worst for your child by bringing her up as you are doing.
    I thought the whole point of parenting was to do your best

    deker
    Free Member

    I’d rather my young girls didn’t do what I ask because they think I’m going to hurt them. YMMV.

    We’re not discussing asking them to do things, it’s about stopping these silly little temper tantrums which if unchecked now WILL lead to issues later when they don’t get their own way with fiends\colleagues, at best they’ll just lose friends at worst it could escalate into dismissal from school\work.

    On a lighter note, i witnessed a parent in Disneyland tell his son (who was screaming like a banshee in his tantrum) to “quiete down or they’ll give them something to scream about….” that worked better than a premier league magic sponge lol

    martinhutch
    Full Member

    Five/Six can be a difficult age because they can be knackered from being good as gold at school all day and you bear the brunt at home time. This for us was particularly bad in the Autumn term.

    We made some allowances for this, but obviously the boundaries of acceptable behaviour were made clear as well. Things improved as they got a bit older.

    Cougar
    Full Member

    Saw a kid in the supermarket the other day having a full-on screaming meltdown tantrum. The reason for his malaise, “I WANT A MINION!!!”

    martinhutch
    Full Member

    The reason for his malaise, “I WANT A MINION!!!”

    I suspect he already has one. 🙂

    theotherjonv
    Full Member

    You might be Princess Amelia, but I’m king daddy and I’m telling you to sit down and eat your breakfast.

    And the conversation ends there.

    gonzy
    Free Member

    This isn’t real, is it? This made me laugh as much as I would have laughed at little miss if she had behaved in the same way. Have your tantrum sweetheart, just keep the noise down!

    oh its real all right…but having said that we never had any problems with our eldest…no tantrums and no bad behaviour…it was like it was almost too good to be true
    so i suppose after having it really good and easy for 5 years when little madam turned up she was going to make up for this.
    the youngest also doesnt have any tantrums…but he is a mischievous little git…and does it with a cheeky grin on his face

    to be fair she’s only started doing this in the last 6 months and isnt a regular thing. most of the time its just sulking and a bit of whining and its over in a couple of minutes
    she really gets going though when the little one winds her up…and he enjoys doing that…i’d say shes feisty more than anything but her behaviour is still easy to manage

    as for the breakfast and stairs examples she didnt scream and shout…but she did say it in a sulky voice which actually made it funny…but she still refused to eat her breakfast so she went on the naughty step for 10 minutes

    she knows i own a pair of these

    so she knows not to cross the line

    If the above is real, you need to ask yourself some serious questions, you are doing the worst for your child by bringing her up as you are doing.
    I thought the whole point of parenting was to do your best

    oops…supernanny is onto us(!)

    captainsasquatch
    Free Member

    Saw a kid in the supermarket the other day having a full-on screaming meltdown tantrum. The reason for his malaise, “I WANT A MINION!!!”

    I saw a kid having a meltdown in a supermarket, it’s always in a supermarket, and was sorely tempted to get down on the floor to have a bigger tantrum, get up and walk away without a word. Just to see.

    ferrals
    Free Member

    What happened to if you don’t want to eat you just go hungry?

    But then i also literally got my mouth washed out with soap if I was rude to adults, so might have had a more traditional approach applied.

    ransos
    Free Member

    We’re not discussing asking them to do things, it’s about stopping these silly little temper tantrums which if unchecked now WILL lead to issues later when they don’t get their own way with fiends\colleagues, at best they’ll just lose friends at worst it could escalate into dismissal from school\work.

    You know this how?

    Anyway, stopping tantrums means asking children to behave themselves. That may be achievable because they are scared that I will hurt them, but that’s not the kind of person I wish to be.

    weeksy
    Full Member

    That may be achievable because they are scared that I will hurt them, but that’s not the kind of person I wish to be.

    I’m pretty sure my lad doesn’t think i’m going to hurt him, but doesn’t tantrum.

    Can you not still be very assertive without them thinking you’re going to batter them ?

    ransos
    Free Member

    I’m pretty sure my lad doesn’t think i’m going to hurt him, but doesn’t tantrum.

    Can you not still be very assertive without them thinking you’re going to batter them ?

    I think so, but some people upthread seem to think the appropriate course of action is violence.

    weeksy
    Full Member

    but some people upthread seem to think the appropriate course of action is violence.

    Potentially the threat of violence… well, i guess it depends what you class as violence really. I’ve smacked the back of my boys hand twice and the back of his legs once in the past…. Are we classing that as violence ? lol.

    SaxonRider
    Full Member

    OP and Gonzy, please look into Oppositional Defiant Disorder.

    No, it’s not just another label; my eldest went through so much of what you both describe, and we were at our wits’ end. For all I had mental health care experience, it was nothing I could understand.

    Then we heard about ODD, and it really helped us begin dealing with the issues. Thankfully, they’re not deep. It’s more a matter of helping kids work through the things that bug them in a positive way.

    Anyway, do some research on ODD and don’t despair. If you want any more info, email is in profile.

    I_did_dab
    Free Member

    I would recommend reading How to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk
    I found it helpful

    ransos
    Free Member

    Potentially the threat of violence… well, i guess it depends what you class as violence really. I’ve smacked the back of my boys hand twice and the back of his legs once in the past…. Are we classing that as violence ? lol.

    Deliberately hurting children through the use of physical force? Yes, I think that meets the definition of violence.

    weeksy
    Full Member

    Deliberately hurting children through the use of physical force? Yes, I think that meets the definition of violence.

    LOL sure… that’s exactly what it is 🙂

    I think i’m done… enjoy.

    ransos
    Free Member

    LOL sure… that’s exactly what it is

    I think i’m done… enjoy.

    It’s your business how you justify it.

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