http://singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/short-but-funny-jokes-please en-US Mon, 13 Feb 2012 06:57:42 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://singletrackworld.com/forum/search.php http://singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/short-but-funny-jokes-please#post-1117146 Tue, 09 Feb 2010 13:30:22 +0000 Three_Fish 1117146@http://singletrackworld.com/forum/ <p>What&#39;s grey and can&#39;t swim?<br /> .<br /> .<br /> .<br /> .<br /> .<br /> .<br /> .<br /> .<br /> .<br /> .<br /> A filing cabinet. </p> http://singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/short-but-funny-jokes-please#post-1117102 Tue, 09 Feb 2010 13:18:55 +0000 oomidamon 1117102@http://singletrackworld.com/forum/ <p>Wayne Bridge gave his ex-girlfriend a replica of his knob made from Cadburys chocolate.</p> <p>She said &quot;Thanks, but I prefer Terry&#39;s&quot; </p> http://singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/short-but-funny-jokes-please#post-1117018 Tue, 09 Feb 2010 12:58:58 +0000 Olly 1117018@http://singletrackworld.com/forum/ <p>creasing up in attempted silence in the office.<br /> its not working.</p> <p>Whats brown and rhymes with snoop?<br /> ....</p> <p>Dr Dre. (joke of the week for me, sorry) </p> http://singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/short-but-funny-jokes-please#post-1116900 Tue, 09 Feb 2010 12:28:09 +0000 TimP 1116900@http://singletrackworld.com/forum/ <p>Why do mice have such small balls</p> <p>Because so few can dance<br /> .<br /> .<br /> .<br /> Why don&#39;t witches wear knickers?</p> <p>So they stick to the broom better </p> http://singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/short-but-funny-jokes-please#post-1116897 Tue, 09 Feb 2010 12:27:22 +0000 CaptainFlashheart 1116897@http://singletrackworld.com/forum/ <p>druidh, that was neither short nor funny! </p> <p>Two goldfish in a tank.<br /> One says, &quot;Any idea how you drive this thing?&quot;</p> <p>Two parrots on a perch.<br /> One say, &quot;Can you smell fish?&quot; </p> http://singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/short-but-funny-jokes-please#post-1116888 Tue, 09 Feb 2010 12:24:50 +0000 catfood 1116888@http://singletrackworld.com/forum/ <p>Jonny goes into the kitchen and tells his mum that granny has got a prawn . Mother says &quot; What on earth do you mean Jonny ?&quot; .<br /> He leads her into the living room where granny is snoring stark naked sat on the sofa . He points between her legs and repeats &quot;Granny got a prawn&quot;.<br /> Mum tells him it ain&#39;t a prawn and that in fact it is her clitoris .<br /> To which Jonny replies ....<br /> &quot;Well it tastes like a prawn &quot; . </p> http://singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/short-but-funny-jokes-please#post-1116808 Tue, 09 Feb 2010 12:07:58 +0000 woody2000 1116808@http://singletrackworld.com/forum/ <p>Did you hear the one about the stamp collecting irish dancer?</p> <p>He was called Michael Philately..... </p> http://singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/short-but-funny-jokes-please#post-1116580 Tue, 09 Feb 2010 11:08:04 +0000 CheesybeanZ 1116580@http://singletrackworld.com/forum/ <p>two blondes walk into a building , you`d think one of them would have<br /> seen it </p> http://singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/short-but-funny-jokes-please#post-1116555 Tue, 09 Feb 2010 10:57:29 +0000 jon1973 1116555@http://singletrackworld.com/forum/ <p>My grandfather died in a german concentration camp.</p> <p>He fell off a guard tower and broke his neck </p> http://singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/short-but-funny-jokes-please#post-1116252 Tue, 09 Feb 2010 09:35:08 +0000 yunki 1116252@http://singletrackworld.com/forum/ <p>what&#39;s the difference between an egg and a w@nk?</p> <p>you can beat an egg.... </p> http://singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/short-but-funny-jokes-please#post-1116241 Tue, 09 Feb 2010 09:31:49 +0000 GreenK 1116241@http://singletrackworld.com/forum/ <p>What do you call a fly with no wings?</p> <p>A walk. </p> http://singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/short-but-funny-jokes-please#post-1116198 Tue, 09 Feb 2010 09:16:17 +0000 Shibboleth 1116198@http://singletrackworld.com/forum/ <p>What&#39;s got 99 balls and makes fat women sweat?</p> <p>Bingo. </p> http://singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/short-but-funny-jokes-please#post-1116181 Tue, 09 Feb 2010 09:13:39 +0000 martyc 1116181@http://singletrackworld.com/forum/ <p>Whats yellow and smells of bananas?</p> <p>Monkey sick ! </p> http://singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/short-but-funny-jokes-please#post-1116098 Tue, 09 Feb 2010 08:51:21 +0000 greasystain 1116098@http://singletrackworld.com/forum/ <p>What has 4 legs and 1 arm?</p> <p>A happy lion. <img src="http://singletrackworld.com/forum/my-plugins/bbcode-buttons/default/icon_smile.gif" title=":)" class="bb_smilies" alt=""/> </p> http://singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/short-but-funny-jokes-please#post-1116085 Tue, 09 Feb 2010 08:45:00 +0000 mrvear 1116085@http://singletrackworld.com/forum/ <p>Did you hear about the scarecrow who won the Nobel prize?</p> <p>They say he was outstanding in his field. </p> http://singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/short-but-funny-jokes-please#post-1116067 Tue, 09 Feb 2010 08:34:25 +0000 PeterPoddy 1116067@http://singletrackworld.com/forum/ <p>An old lady goes to the doctors, complaing that she can&#39;t stop trumping constantly, but they are always silent and never smell &quot;In fact,&quot; she says &quot;I&#39;ve done seven since I came into your office just now...&quot;</p> <p>The doc gives her some pills and tells her to come back in a week</p> <p>The old lady returns &quot;Doctor, there&#39;s no change apart from the fact that they now smell REALLY bad!&quot;</p> <p>Doctor says &quot;Great, that&#39;s sorted your sense of smell, now lets work on your hearing!&quot; </p> http://singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/short-but-funny-jokes-please#post-1116023 Tue, 09 Feb 2010 08:16:48 +0000 duckman 1116023@http://singletrackworld.com/forum/ <p>Whats pink and wrinkly and hangs out your pajamas?</p> <p>Your granny. </p> http://singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/short-but-funny-jokes-please#post-1115969 Tue, 09 Feb 2010 07:32:17 +0000 Dibbs 1115969@http://singletrackworld.com/forum/ <p>Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and family values.<br /> Stu said, &#39;I didn&#39;t sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?&#39;<br /> Leroy replied, &#39;I&#39;m not sure, what was her maiden name?&#39;<br /> --------------------------------------------------- </p> <p>A little boy went up to his father and asked: &#39;Dad, where did my intelligence come from?&#39;<br /> The father replied. &#39;Well, son, you must have got it from your mother, cos I still have mine.&#39;<br /> --------------------------------------------------- </p> <p>&#39;Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully,&#39; the divorce Court Judge said, &#39;And I&#39;ve decided to give your wife £775 a week,&#39;<br /> &#39;That&#39;s very fair, your honour,&#39; the husband said. &#39;And every now and then I&#39;ll try to send her a few pounds myself.&#39;<br /> --------------------------------------------------- </p> <p>A doctor examining a woman who had been rushed to A&amp;E, took the husband aside, and said, &#39;I don&#39;t like the looks of your wife at all.&#39;<br /> &#39;Me neither doc,&#39; said the husband.<br /> &#39;But she&#39;s a great cook and really good with the kids.&#39;<br /> --------------------------------------------------- </p> <p>An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.<br /> The Wizard says, &#39;Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you..&#39;<br /> The old man says without hesitation, &#39;I now pronounce you man and wife.&#39;<br /> --------------------------------------------------- </p> <p>A blonde calls the Airlines and asks, &#39;Can you tell me how long it&#39;ll take to fly from Ringway to New York City ?&#39;<br /> The agent replies, &#39;Just a minute.&#39;<br /> &#39;Thank you,&#39; the blonde says, and hangs up.<br /> ---------------------------------------------------</p> <p>Moe: &#39;My wife got me to believe in religion..&#39;<br /> Joe: &#39;Really?&#39;<br /> Moe: &#39;Yeah. Until I married her I didn&#39;t believe in Hell.&#39;<br /> --------------------------------------------------- </p> <p>A man is recovering from surgery when the Surgical Nurse appears and asks him how he is feeling.<br /> &#39;I&#39;m O. K. but I didn&#39;t like the four letter-words the doctor used in surgery,&#39; he answered.<br /> &#39;What did he say,&#39; asked the nurse..<br /> &#39;Oops!&#39;<br /> --------------------------------------------------- </p> <p>While shopping for holiday clothes, my husband and I passed a display of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I had even considered buying a bathing suit, so I sought my husband&#39;s advice.<br /> &#39;What do you think?&#39; I asked. &#39;Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?&#39;<br /> &#39;Better get a bikini,&#39; he replied. &#39;You&#39;d never get it all in one.&#39;<br /> He&#39;s still in intensive care.<br /> .......................................................................... </p> http://singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/short-but-funny-jokes-please#post-1115960 Tue, 09 Feb 2010 07:25:11 +0000 slimtubing 1115960@http://singletrackworld.com/forum/ <p>What&#39;s orange and sounds like a parrot?<br /> A carrot.</p> <p>What&#39;s black and white and eats like a horse?<br /> A Zebra</p> <p>What did the fish say when he swam into a concrete wall?<br /> Dam. </p> http://singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/short-but-funny-jokes-please#post-1115750 Mon, 08 Feb 2010 23:12:12 +0000 NickyB is going downhill 1115750@http://singletrackworld.com/forum/ <p>two fish in a tank,<br /> one says to the other &quot;how do you drive this thing?&quot;</p> <p>did you hear about the magic tractor?<br /> it went down a road and turned into a field!!!</p> <p>Hope your missus gets better soon! </p> <p>x </p> http://singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/short-but-funny-jokes-please#post-1115704 Mon, 08 Feb 2010 22:54:37 +0000 algarvebairn 1115704@http://singletrackworld.com/forum/ <p>I gave up my job in the helium factory. I wasn&#39;t going to be spoken to in that tone of voice. </p> http://singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/short-but-funny-jokes-please#post-1115671 Mon, 08 Feb 2010 22:47:31 +0000 ceekay 1115671@http://singletrackworld.com/forum/ <p>You are so thick you had to swot for your blood test </p> http://singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/short-but-funny-jokes-please#post-1115634 Mon, 08 Feb 2010 22:38:43 +0000 stratobiker 1115634@http://singletrackworld.com/forum/ <p>I&#39;ve gone completely deaf - never thought I&#39;d hear myself say that. </p> http://singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/short-but-funny-jokes-please#post-1115529 Mon, 08 Feb 2010 22:20:17 +0000 oomidamon 1115529@http://singletrackworld.com/forum/ <p>I used to be a tour guide in Norway - I was a Fjord Escort. </p> http://singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/short-but-funny-jokes-please#post-1115520 Mon, 08 Feb 2010 22:19:00 +0000 oomidamon 1115520@http://singletrackworld.com/forum/ <p>I drove through McDonalds yesterday - I knew I shouldn&#39;t have gone in the Toyota.... </p> http://singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/short-but-funny-jokes-please#post-1115515 Mon, 08 Feb 2010 22:18:13 +0000 druidh 1115515@http://singletrackworld.com/forum/ <p>Gordon Browns term as Prime Minister </p> http://singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/short-but-funny-jokes-please#post-1115497 Mon, 08 Feb 2010 22:15:25 +0000 Keva 1115497@http://singletrackworld.com/forum/ <p>guy walks into a garage and says &#39;can I have a petrol cap for my Skoda&#39; garage attendant says &#39;sounds like a fair swap.&#39; </p> http://singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/short-but-funny-jokes-please#post-1115487 Mon, 08 Feb 2010 22:13:35 +0000 MartynS 1115487@http://singletrackworld.com/forum/ <p>camping&#39;s really dangerous.. every time the police find a dead body its in a tent....</p> <p>My sister was in Hospital the other week with really bad hayfever and diabetes. She wasn&#39;t to impressed when I turned up with flowers and chocolates. </p> http://singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/short-but-funny-jokes-please#post-1115334 Mon, 08 Feb 2010 21:49:14 +0000 DaddyPig 1115334@http://singletrackworld.com/forum/ <p>why do women have periods</p> <p>because it hurts and they deserve it</p> <p>probably won&#39;t cheer the mrs up though </p> http://singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/short-but-funny-jokes-please#post-1115330 Mon, 08 Feb 2010 21:49:05 +0000 muddydwarf 1115330@http://singletrackworld.com/forum/ <p>What&#39;s green &amp; smells of pork?<br /> .<br /> .<br /> .<br /> .<br /> .<br /> .<br /> .<br /> Kermit&#39;s finger! </p> http://singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/short-but-funny-jokes-please#post-1115317 Mon, 08 Feb 2010 21:46:45 +0000 eckinspain 1115317@http://singletrackworld.com/forum/ <p>a skeleton walks into a bar and orders a pint of lager and a mop </p> http://singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/short-but-funny-jokes-please#post-1115297 Mon, 08 Feb 2010 21:43:13 +0000 boxelder 1115297@http://singletrackworld.com/forum/ <p>Two snowmen in the park, one says to the other, &quot;can you smell carrots?&quot; </p> http://singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/short-but-funny-jokes-please#post-1115291 Mon, 08 Feb 2010 21:41:42 +0000 wwaswas 1115291@http://singletrackworld.com/forum/ <p>Two Monkeys getting in the bath.</p> <p>One says &#39;Ooo, ooo, ooo, ahh, ahh, ahh&#39;</p> <p>the other one says &#39;Well put some more cold in then&#39; </p> http://singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/short-but-funny-jokes-please#post-1115277 Mon, 08 Feb 2010 21:39:43 +0000 gusamc 1115277@http://singletrackworld.com/forum/ <p>what&#39;s green and eats nuts ?</p> <p>.<br /> .<br /> .<br /> .<br /> syphilis </p> http://singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/short-but-funny-jokes-please#post-1115245 Mon, 08 Feb 2010 21:34:08 +0000 djglover 1115245@http://singletrackworld.com/forum/ <p>I saw a guy stacking shelves at Tescos complaining because the top shelf was broken, and he couldn&#39;t keep it up.</p> <p>I think he had A wrecked aisle dysfunction </p> http://singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/short-but-funny-jokes-please#post-1115235 Mon, 08 Feb 2010 21:32:30 +0000 druidh 1115235@http://singletrackworld.com/forum/ <p>2 elephants fell off a cliff</p> <p>Boom boom </p> http://singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/short-but-funny-jokes-please#post-1115230 Mon, 08 Feb 2010 21:31:44 +0000 mmb 1115230@http://singletrackworld.com/forum/ <p>the wifes in a&amp;e with a suspected broken toe and says she&#39;s bored, i know i can count on you lot! </p>