16 Beards Of Enduro

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It’s while staring at hundreds of riders through the long lens of a camera that you soon come to spot styles and trends as they emerge. We’ve noticed quite a few impressive facial bushes this year, and there were some great big bushy beards on show at this weekend’s Shimano Tweedlove International Enduro. As we sorted through our collection of images from a great weekend of racing we pulled some beard examples to one side. Some are great, brave and bushy – others somewhat less so. Here we present our pick of some of the best and worst Enduro Beards.

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Lets start with a mean one. Well groomed but with a hint of the rugged. Possibly left ungroomed for a few days prior to racing to try and portray a sense of danger or simply Wolfman. A perfect match for the dead eyes. Singletrack rating – 8/10
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Clearly a daily groomer, but doesn’t have the courage to let it grow much beyond an unkempt stubble. Potentially works in an office. Singletrack rating 5/10
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Another daily groomer. Possibly living with someone who doesn’t really dig beards that much so needs to keep it in check, but secretly he wants to go full grizzly. Singletrack rating – 6/10
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To be honest we nearly didn’t include this chap in the list. Is that a beard or just his helmet strap? Points for ConcentrationFace, mind. Singletrack rating – 2/10
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Well aged, neatly trimmed but hellishly spiky. Can rub down paintwork and needs help to remove his face from woollen clothing. A perfect accompaniment to the look of pure gnar as he approaches the end of the stage. Understated but serious. Singletrack rating – 7/10
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Without this beard the true level of his facial fear at this moment would have St. Johns volunteers running in his direction before he hits the ground. Needs to ‘let it go’ in both bushage and knee-magnetism (ice palace not included). Singletrack rating – 4/10 (er.. he actually came 5th – Ed)
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It’s Santa! You can tell because of the enormous sack of presents he decided to ride with on this stage – good, traditional, rugged beard with just a soupçon of retired geography teacher. Singletrack rating – 7/10
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‘Santa’ again! This time on Stage 4/Day 2. Clearly yesterday’s huge sack contained today’s change of riding kit. Perhaps he camped in the forest overnight, in which case we’ll award his beard an extra mark – Singletrack rating 8/10
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This is a serious beard complete with subtle addition of a hipster, curly ‘tache’. Mirror shades finish off the whole look. Probably has a campervan with a split screen. Tattoos. And maybe an artisan brewery. Singletrack rating – 9/10
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Coquettish Moue Of Imminent Pain transformed by whiskers into steely-eyed Face Of Vicious Fart Relief. Singletrack rating – 6/10
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The Mobius Beard – a cunning beard/top colour combo yields Infinitobeard. You can’t tell where one ends and the other begins; less a beard and more a full-face jersey. Singletrack rating – 7/10

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Those succulent whiskers mask the intakes for a cunning series of pumps which run around the neck and inflate the jersey. Good for wind-braking. Singletrack rating – 6/10.
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Extraordinarily huge goggles masks decent chin growth. A suggestion of moustache – free fizzog for the true ‘Abe Lincoln schrapling the gnar’ look. Singletrack rating – a staunch four (score) out of ten.
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Exquisite length, lavishness, protruberance and colour. A glorious beard/scarf combo to boot. Captured singing something operatic and meaningful, we don’t doubt. Singletrack rating – 9/10
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Good wolfman with the mask. Outstanding full-coverage beard with exquisite side-flanges. Singletrack rating – 8/10
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Finally, as much as we try and concentrate on this beard we find our eyes magnetically drawn to the protuberant paunch of the spectator we have considerately cropped the head off. No score.

For an actual account of the event itself including results, go here

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Mark Alker

Singletrack Owner/Publisher

What Mark doesn’t know about social media isn’t worth knowing and his ability to balance “The Stack” is bested only by his agility on a snowboard. Graphs are what gets his engine revving, at least they would if his car wasn’t electric, and data is what you’ll find him poring over in the office. Mark enjoys good whisky, sci-fi and the latest Apple gadget, he is also the best boss in the world (Yes, he is paying me to write this).

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