Yes, traveller, it comes around once again. The Day of Frige – who was an Old English Goddess, fact fans, and the Anglo-Saxon equivalent of Freyja. The ultimate day of the working week, and paradoxically the one in which it’s fun to slope off for a cheeky ten minutes or so to check up online and look at pictures of bike kit. And heaven knows we wouldn’t want to disappoint, so here it is: Fresh Goods Friday!
Nuke proof Mega 275 Comp
Price: £2,599.99
From: Hotlines
We sent graphics guy Rob Crayons (yes, that’s his real name*) off to the Nukeproof launch last year, and we got the vague impression that he enjoyed himself. So those lovely people at Nukepoof have sent him a spangly Mega to have a bit more of a protracted play on. With 160mm of Rochshox driven travel, this Aluminium Puppy has its heart in the Alps. Can you guess the wheel size? Here’s a clue: the numbers are 752, and there’s a decimal point in there. Rearrange to your heart’s content! There will be a prize**! Saddle dropping comes courtesy of Nukeproof’s Oklo post…
…there’s a Pike up front… 
…to go with the Monarch out back…
…and the whole shebang is propelled with SRAM’s GX-1 groups. And your legs. Can you guess the wheel size?
Lots of tidy Nukeproof finishing kit, too. 65 deg HA, 75.5 deg SA (crikey), 435mm chain stays and (in this large) 460mm reach. Tidy. Or possibly Neat.
*No, it isn’t.
**There won’t be a prize.
Chromag Wide-angle 27.5
Price: £549.99 frame only
From: ShoreLines
And in the hardtail corner this week, we have the Chromag Wide Angle! More 27.5 wheeled goodness in a long-travel hardtail format for a future biketest! 68 degree head angle, 73 degree seat angle, super-short 419mm chain stays, should bring all teh funz.
Our test bike cones with a frankly blingular array of gear – the RaceFace SixC carbonium cranks are adjured to Chroma’s ‘Yokel’ chain stay (it says here) which minimises weight and allows for stocking tyre clearance.
Those bears. What are they *doing*?
More Chroma finishing kit – the Fubar OSX bars, XT brakes, Fubar saddle. It should all take a pounding. 
And yep, there’s a Pike up front for maximal schralpitude…
Nuke proof Vector AM saddle
Price: £44.99
From: Hotlines
Inspired, apparently, by the lines of fighter jets and their aerodynamic properties, the website claims it offers comfort, performance and dynamic style. This is one supersonic perch which will hopefully leave your arse free from cluster-bombs.
Nukeproof Warhead Carbon Bars
Price: £99.99
From: Hotlines
It’s a carbon bar, people. 780mm wide – which is also usually known by those in the know as ‘plenty’. Wider come section for stiffness, and modified layup for compliance and strength. So firm, yet yielding. But strong. Mmmm.
Whistler Performance Lubricants
Price: Chain Boost £9.99, Fork Boost £11.99, Shock Boost 1litre bottles £19.99 (2.5wt, 7wt, 10wt and 20wt), Absolute Grease £17.99
From: Shorelines
A variety of lubrication solutions (FOR YOUR BIKE) which will help it come through the hideous winter months better than it would if you didn’t use them. That was a flowing sentence, wasn’t it? Anyhoo. These are apparently ‘safe to the human touch’, and moreover they’re ‘non-damaging to our valued eco-systems’.
Absolute Black Oval Chainring
Price: £46.99
From: Absolute Black
Oval chainring, narrow wide. Maximises power, minimises whimpering. Or at least audible whimpering; the idea is that with an oval chainring your efficiency is so enhanced, you’ll be so far in front no-one will be able to hear your sobs, or see your tears. Man tears. Tears of WIN. It’s eminently possible of course that Barney would be able to use it to keep at the same glacial pace, but expend the same, feeble, asthmatic kitten effort.
North Shore Billet Chainrings
Price: from £39.99
From: Shorelines
North Shore Billet make all sorts of stuff, including mech hangers, fact-fans. We’ve been given a variety of their tip-top chainrings to review; all sorts from SRAM and RaceFace fitness, to standard BDCs to new-fangled XT and XTR so-posh-they-don’t-even-fit-each-other BCDs. Nice.
Muc-Off C3 Ceramic lube
Price: £15
From: Fisher Outdoor
Check for appropriate lubage with the included UV light, which causes the lube to fluoresce! Ceramic lube, and petroleum free! This one is a dry lube, mind, so we’ll probably not be using it for a little while. *sobs*
Chromag Scarab Pedals
Price: £109.99
From: ShoreLines
Wide, yet light. Like an inverted Malteser in pedal form. Wait, what? 42 placement options on the pins, adjustable height, removable from the back. All. Good. Things.
Dissent Labs Semenuk and GFX Compression Socks
Price: £24.99 (Semenuk) and £22.99 (GFX Compression Crew)
From: ShoreLines
I don’t wish to make you unwell by bringing your attention to Mr Brandon Semenuk’s feet, but he’s sure to keep his pinkies in the very best of topiary-top conditions with the ‘ODOR FREE’ Dissent Labs socks. They’ve also sent us some GFX compression socks too. Bonus.
Alpina Carapax Helmet
Price: £89.99
From: Moore Large
I thought Carapax was the horse that Gandalf rode in Lord of the Rings? Anyway, Our Mark is here bedecked in the aforementioned. It’s an Enduro helmet, so it’s got a height adjustable peak, an antibacterial interior, a fly peak and a selection of nice bright colours. BOOOOM!
Bontrager Rally MIPS
Price: £89.99
From: Trek Bikes
Barney looks questioning in this suspiciously selfie-esque photo. The Bontrager Rally MIPS is like their regular Rally – extended coverage, lots of vents… but with MIPS, so it rotates in the event of a crash instead of your brain… too late for Barney though, sadly.
Chromag OSX 35 Freeride bar
Price: £69.99
From: Shorelines
35mm clamp, 800mm width. Built for gnar. We like the colours too.
Fabric Scoop Saddle
Price: £39.99
From: Fabric
Flexible base, vacuum bonded upper (ooer), custom design rail, and designed for all sorts of riding. OF BICYCLES.
Stan’s NEO 4 Pawl XD Freehub driver for Bravo wheelset
Price: £70.00
From: Paligap
A freewheel for a lovely pair of Bravo wheels James will be subjecting to colossal amounts of abuse a spot of delicate bimbling henceforth. James is a magnificently brutal extremely delicate rider who is as prone to hurtling over things upside down trundling to the tea shop as he is jumping them forwards nipping off to the shops.
And here’s a video for no good reason whatsoever – apart from the glory of Kimbers, who stuck it on the forum earlier. It’s just so random it has to go in. A dinosaur, riding a horse, playing football. You know it makes sense:
And with that, gentle reader, we’re going to retire to a roaring fire, a wing-backed chair of plush red leather, a fine single malt, a cuban cigar, a quilted smoking jacket and a surprisingly luxuriant moustache, until it stops raining. At which point, we’ll go ride! Or maybe just one more whisky. Or two. Have a good one y’all.
ST out.
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“I thought Carapax was the horse that Gandalf rode in Lord of the Rings?”
Think you might find it’s Shadowfax
Is the wheel size 650b?
Wheel size of what, chapaking? Both bikes are 27.5in
“Can you guess the wheel size? Here’s a clue: the numbers are 752, and there’s a decimal point in there.”
I reckon 29″
25.7″, let’s call it 26 hey!
The ‘wider come section for stiffness’ on those Nukeproof bars sounds a little, err, specialist.
72.5″ wheels?! That concept bike caught on quickly…
Does that mean there’s a hardtail feature coming up soon? I hope so.
Have you ever leant the bike up up carefully, fiddling with your camera settings when you look up to find the bike has gone…fallen into the canal?
bikedibley – it’s a risk, granted, but for such glorious photography it’s one worth taking. But actually, so far I’ve been lucky/vigilant… *touches wood*